Opposite Attraction
by You ROCK harder
Summary: A soul-swapping jewel is just the start of Ranma's problems when Ryoga decides to abuse the position he finds himself in.  Will Akane realize in time to set things right?  Only time will tell!
1. Chapter 1

**Opposite Attraction**

**Disclaimer: They're not mine and I'm not paid to do this, so the appropriate parties may have all of my imaginary proceeds.**

**Chapter 1: It Starts…**

* * *

><p>Everyone sat around the small table, huddled shoulder-to-shoulder to get a closer look at what lay at its center.<p>

"This little bute," Happosai said, poking at the object with the end of a chopstick, "is the real deal! They say it will switch the minds of any two bodies that hold it, so long as it's held at the same time. Now all I have to do is find a body I like." He paused to rub his chin thoughtfully, "So, Ranma-_Chan_, how's about it?"

A loud thud was heard as Ranma smashed the old man's skull into the table with his elbow. "Don't make me sick, ya old letch!"

Soun leaned across the table, ignoring the battle that ensued between the two generations of his school, and carefully rewrapped the smooth, blue oval in its cloth covering.

"This should be guarded from-"

He paused to consider his words even as his eyes revealed his intentions with a quick look at his master. Clearing his throat he began again, "This should be guarded against those who would, uh, _abuse_ its particular abilities. Therefore-"

"I'll do it!"

All heads turned slowly toward the voice; only Nabiki and Happosai looked amused.

"What? What's wrong with ME?" Akane asked, defending her position. "You _always_ pick someone else! Well, I'm a practicing member of the School of Anything Goes just the same as you all are, you know!"

"_Practice_ bein' the key word," Ranma muttered under his breath, earning a searing glance from the member in question.

Soun shifted uncomfortably, "It's not a matter of your abilities, Akane."

"_What_ abilities?" Ranma chided, making Akane stiffen beside him. Without another word she reached forward and snatched the bundle from the center of the table.

"It's settled then, I'll guard it! And if anyone has anything to say about me NOT being able to do it," Ranma found himself locked in her glare a second time, "then that person can… just… suck an egg!"

She spun on her heel and stormed off with the small bundle.

"Well, that's settled," Soun smiled uncomfortably. "I suppose it is about time that Akane's tested, like the rest of us," he added quickly.

Ranma let out a long sigh; he'd just have to start guarding Akane's room at night. At least it would give him a legitimate excuse for why he was already over it in the first place.

…

It was a miserable Fall day. The wind was blowing a mix of leaves and rain at an angle that made an umbrella nearly useless. The rain itself was more of a heavy mist than a proper raindrop, giving it the ability to ride the wind in multiple directions, not just its usual 'down'. It was during a particularly strong gust that Ryoga Hibiki found himself at the threshold of his curse's trigger, and a moment later he was dragging his belongings down the pavement between his little piggy teeth. Stuffing his clothes into his pack, then closing and packing his umbrella as well, he shivered right down to and through his small, black hooves. He needed to find a place out of the elements. Taking a harder look at his surroundings, he saw the sign for Dr Tofu's clinic at the end of the block. With a tiny grin he began to trudge forward.

…

Flashing a smile as he entered the Dojo, Ranma quietly walked past Akane and began to stretch. She paused only a moment before smashing through a stack of cinderblocks.

"So…how ya doing?" he said nonchalantly, lifting a leg straight up into the air and hugging his knee. Akane watched this through her bangs, swearing that he was somehow trying to show-off to annoy her, and quite certain that it was working. Taking in a long, slow breath, she decided to give him the benefit of a doubt.

"Fine. Thanks. So why are you here?"

He threw a hand to his chest and feigned being shot, "Ouch, Akane! Man, if words could kill, huh?"

"I didn't say anything wrong, Ranma," she replied with a touch of irritation, stacking up another set of blocks to hit.

"It was the way ya said it." He let go of his leg and dropped into a full split. Akane rolled her eyes.

"So why _are _you here?" she repeated.

"Gotta practice somewhere, it's rainin' outside."

Akane glanced over her shoulder, listening to the wind-spattered drops hitting the glass and wood behind her. Giving a small shrug, she murmured, "Guess that _is_ a problem, for you."

"Just a little."

Beginning his routine, Ranma flipped and kicked through the air at breakneck speeds. Several times he landed dangerously close to Akane, rebounding away only to come slightly closer a moment later. After the third near-miss, she turned from her pile of rubble and threw a punch at his head. Leaning out of her reach, he backwards somersaulted away.

"Ooh, thought ya had me, didn't ya!"

"No. I was just practicing," she lied. "Shadowboxing, guess I got too close. Sorry if it made you uncomfortable."

He started to chuckle deep in his throat, "_That_ didn't make me uncomfortable, Akane, but your face sure did!"

His grin was broad and toothy now, his own joke amusing him to no end. Akane took another deep breath, then stepped close, purposely removing any personal space between them. Looking up to meet his eyes she stared him down, the grin growing uncomfortable on his lips.

"I think you're afraid," she challenged.

"W-what?" he stammered, fighting the urge to step back, or lean forward, he wasn't sure of which. "I ain't scared of, uh, well…anything you got, that's for sure!"

"Then let me do this," she warned, raising an eyebrow.

"What about Happosai?"

"What _about_ Happosai, you don't think I can handle him?"

He stood his ground, his mouth moving as if it were full of rocks as he bit back everything he wanted to say. Her other eyebrow rose as her patience dwindled.

"Fine!" he gritted out, "You can do this."

"_Without_ your help?"

He turned away, "Fine…FINE. WithOUT my help!"

"There you go, that wasn't so hard," she grinned, giving him a pat on the back. "Since that's all cleared up, you want to practice with me?"

He rested a hand against the wall, "Nah. I think all the fight's outta me." Groaning, he dramatically staggered out of the dojo. Once he was gone, Akane began to laugh.

Making his way to the kitchen to help regain his strength, he stopped when he saw Ryoga sitting at the table. Letting out a long sigh he sagged against the wall once more.

"Guess what they say is true, hey Pork Butt? Rats really do come outta the sewer when it rains."

Ryoga did little more than look up through the steam of his tea, his eyes narrowing. Kasumi, smilingly peace-keeping as always, knelt down beside her guest.

"Isn't it wonderful? Dr Tofu brought him by."

"Yes, very…for _him_."

Kasumi smiled, then placed another cup on the table, "Would you like some tea, Ranma?"

"Sure," he smiled back, sitting in his usual place. Lifting his tea, he leveled his gaze at Ryoga, "To what do we owe this honor, _pal_?"

"I was lost, Ranma, if you must know," Ryoga answered calmly.

"You're always lost," Ranma scoffed, "funny how ya manage ta find this place over and over again though."

"Isn't it?" Akane agreed as she walked into the room, retying the belt of her gi. "I'm so glad to see you, Ryoga. You'll be staying for dinner, I hope?"

Blushing, Ryoga began to squeeze his mug as he fumbled his words. Shaking his head, Ranma planted his chin in his palm, "Ya better let go of the cup before it breaks, idiot."

"Oh, right, yeah!" the lost boy rushed out, setting the cup down gently.

"You should spend the night," Akane said with a warm smile, "it looks miserable out there."

"I, I wouldn't want to impose…"

"Why? Ranma's been doing it for years," Akane smirked evilly at her fiancé, taking her own cup of tea from her sister with a nod of thanks. He shot her a look, then leaned on his elbows toward her, "So you're saying I owe ya, huh? Whaddya suppose the going rate is on saving a life two, three…how many times has it been now, Tomboy? I lost count!"

Akane rose to her knees, leaning on her palms to get closer to Ranma, "That's low, Ranma, even for you."

"Even for…what the hell's that supposed ta mean?"

"Do the math! Oh wait, you probably can't. _You_ lose count at _three_!"

"Uh, I don't have to stay," Ryoga offered helpfully, feeling a bit awkward in his seat between the pair.

"No, you do!" Akane snapped, her left hand snagging his forearm as she rose from the table, pulling him along with her. "I'll make you up a futon in Ranma's room."

Dragging him off behind her, she stormed away.

Kasumi looked at Ranma with an apologetic smile, "Try not to hold it against her, she really is a very sweet girl."

"I know," he sighed, settling back to the floor, "she's just a violent maniac."

…

It was deep night, the time when nocturnal is in the full throws of switching to diurnal and even the insects have stopped their songs for sleep. Unfortunately for Ranma, his body seemed to be taking a different course of action. Whether it was the day's events, the snoring panda or the unwelcome rival next to him, he couldn't be sure, but sleep seemed to be the last thing his mind was capable of doing. Staring at the ceiling, he counted shadows until his brain was numb, but he was still awake.

"I can count higher than three," he whispered quietly to himself, hours too late for a comeback. "Just did it right now, dorky macho chick!"

Rolling to his left he stared at Ryoga, then spun to face his father on the right. Grumbling, he got up and slipped from the room. As the door closed, Ryoga opened his eyes.

Ranma padded down the hall to Akane's room, checked over his shoulder to be sure he was alone, then slipped inside. Staring at her sleeping form, he started to pace back and forth like a caged wildcat with a vendetta.

'_Damn,'_ he thought, _'why's she gotta do this to me? And why can't she lose a little sleep, too?'_

Watching her closely, he confirmed that she was in a deep sleep. Then he began to whisper, soft as a first kiss, all of the secrets he wouldn't dare say during the day.

"I'm sorry I goaded ya on like that, you know I don't mean it when I say that stuff. And this little mission you think is some test or something, it ain't necessary. Ya don't need ta prove yourself to me or anybody, I already think the world of you, Akane."

He sighed as her name slipped from his lips, letting it roll over his tongue a second time before he ended his midnight confession. Feeling slightly less tense, he turned to go back to bed only to nearly bump into Ryoga in her doorway. Eyes widening in shock, he took a step back.

"Ranma," the other boy hissed, "what do you think you're doing sneaking into Akane San's room at this hour?"

"Shuddup, idiot," he shot back, "I wasn't doin' anything!"

Ryoga stepped closer. "Ranma, don't act innocent."

"ACT innocent?" Ranma scoffed, "At least when I'm in here it ain't in her bed pretending to be her _pet_!"

Ryoga balled his fists, "And who's fault is it that I have this damned curse anyway?"

"Quit complaining," Ranma whispered tiredly, ducking a punch Ryoga threw at his head. Taking a moment, he added, "how long were you there?"

"I heard you say her name, if that's what you're referring to." Ryoga paused to lash-out with a kick, which his rival caught in his left hand, "Afraid I'd heard too much, Ranma?"

"Not really," Ranma lied with a shrug, sweeping out Ryoga's other leg while maintaining his grip on the first.

Down in a wheelbarrow position, Ryoga pushed off the ground with his arms, sending the pair backwards. Taking a step to regain his balance, Ranma's foot landed on a dumbbell and rolled out from under him. Wanting to land with as little noise as possible, one hand grabbed for Akane's desk while the other still held tight to Ryoga, attempting to use him as a counterweight to stop his fall. But it was too little too late.

His hand slid across her desk, sending books and papers flying in its wake. Amidst the carnage, Ranma felt material softly give way under his palm, his mind screaming in horrified comprehension as he realized what lay beneath. He tried to pull back or twist to the side, but there simply wasn't enough time. The fabric that was wrapped around the jewel slipped away, exposing it fully as his hand fell over it. And he was still holding Ryoga.

…

Hearing a loud crash, Akane bolted upright in her bed. She immediately reached for her lamp and mallet, tools she felt would be necessary for assessing the situation at hand. Looking around wildly, her eyes came to rest on the tangled mass of martial artists that lay on her floor.

"Ranma?" She blinked several times to clear the sleep from her eyes, "What are you doing?"

"I can explain!" Ryoga belted out, springing free from Ranma's grip. Looking down at his rival, his eyes went wide. His hand rose and clamped firmly over his mouth, staring in horror as he yelled out what Akane could have sworn to be a string of profanities into his palm, and not the PG rated ones.

"Are…are you okay?" she whispered, lowering her mallet from view to seem more or less harmless. Looking around to Ranma, she noted that he was staring in utter confusion at Ryoga's back.

Ryoga spun, grabbing at the clutter of books on the floor, "Here, lemme help clean this stuff up for you, Akane, um, _San_."

"Okay…" Akane replied slowly, creasing her brows together. "You don't have to though, Ryoga, you _are_ a guest." Seeing as he wasn't showing any signs of stopping, Akane again looked at Ranma, who still sat staring into nothingness.

"Ranma?" she tried again softly, ignoring the lost boy for a moment to kneel beside her fiancé. Waving a hand before his eyes, she grimaced as he failed to respond. Bringing her face closer, she gave him a gentle poke on his forehead, "Hello? Earth to Ranma."

Slowly he blinked as his eyes found a focal point on Akane's face. Seeing recognition flash over his features, Akane leaned back with a smile.

"Dummy," she giggled, smacking him lightly on the arm, "I thought something was wrong with you for a minute. What happened?"

Reaching toward her as if he were finding a long lost treasure, Ranma gingerly took her hand and whispered, "Is this a dream?"

Akane watched him curiously, but before another word was said Ryoga landed between the two. Yanking Ranma away by his collar, he tugged him toward the door.

"We shouldn't be here in the middle of the night like this, Akane. I'll tell you what, leave that mess and I'll come an' clean it up for you in the morning. G'night, Akane…San."

Akane remained on the floor, looking after the two with a frown as her door closed. In the hall, muffled fighting began as the two boys moved away from her room.

"Honestly," she whispered, "what is wrong with them?"

…

Outside, Ranma grimaced as he stared into his own eyes, clutching tight the collar of his favorite pair of pajamas.

"You can't say nothing about this to Akane!" he whispered at himself, who was currently very much not himself.

Ryoga tentatively reached up, then punched him hard across the face. "_Is_ this a dream? Why am I in your body, Ranma?"

"Agh, jerk!" Ranma moaned, rubbing his jaw and stepping away from the other boy. "What the hell'd you do that for?"

"I wanted to see if I was dreaming, they say it'll only hurt if you're awake."

Ranma shook his head to straighten his vision, "Yeah, well, you'll regret that tomorrow when we switch back and _you_ get ta feel this."

Ryoga looked down at himself in Ranma's form, his eyes wide. "What happened? Why are we waiting until morning to switch? What's going on?"

"Shhh!" Ranma hissed, ready to smack him but having second thoughts about hitting his own face. "Happosai got some rock that switches ya if you touch it with someone else. Akane's on this kick that she needs ta protect it so she can prove she's a martial artist, or something. She thinks it'll show she's tough, and if she finds out she failed she's gonna get mad. I tried ta find it, but it got buried under all that stuff from her desk. So now what we gotta do is wait till tomorrow, act like we're helping clean up, and switch back. It'll be easy!"

Ryoga leveled his gaze at the other boy, "With you, when has anything ever been easy?"

…

The next morning came all too early for Akane with a gentle rapping of knuckles on her door. Looking around slowly before she recognized the source of the sound, she buried her head under the covers with a groan.

"Akane! Hey, you awake?"

"Don't you sleep?" she grumbled, sliding her feet out from under her covers and onto the floor. "Can't you do _anything_ normal, Ran-"

Opening her door, she was surprised to come face-to-face with an overeager Ryoga, still in his pajamas.

"Oh…" she said quietly.

"Good, you're up," he rushed out, pushing past her to get into the room. "I was thinking about this desk all night, how we left it a mess an all."

"Isn't Ranma with you?" she asked, looking into the hall.

"Nah, I let him sleep since it was really all my fault that this happened."

Moving to the side of her desk, he noted that there was no longer a mess. Looking to the other side, then below, he stopped his search to stare at her, "What's this? I said I'd clean that up for you, Akane San."

"Ryoga," she smiled, "I told you already, you're a guest. I wasn't going to let you do that. It was just an accident, and probably all Ranma's fault, too. Although it's very kind of you to say otherwise."

She smiled sweetly down at Ranma while he quietly seethed at her words. "_Why_ would you think it was all _his_ fault, Akane? It wasn't like he was alone."

"I know, but it isn't like _you_ to sneak into girls' rooms at night."

Ranma cleared his throat, "Oh, but it's like _him?_

She paused, squinting her eyes at him, "Sorry? Am I offending you in some way, Ryoga?"

"Uh, no. Of course not!" he chuckled, pushing down his anger and tapping into his best Ryogabilities. "I could never be offended by someone as lovely as you, Akane San." Feeling a bit too comfortable while wearing someone else's face, he added a wink, which made Akane blush.

Feeling her cheeks burn unexpectedly, she turned away. "Well, okay then. I cleaned up the desk already, so, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to get dressed for school."

His thoughts wandering for a moment as he scanned her desk for the jewel, he quickly picked back up on the conversation. "Right! And that would be weird if I were still here, so I'll go get ready before we end up late."

He backed out of her room, closing the door lightly behind himself.

"Why would _he _be late?" she wondered aloud, her thoughts being cut short as her alarm began to ring.

…

In Ranma's room, he was busily going through the motions of getting ready himself, when a tired Ryoga lifted his head.

"What are you doing?" he mumbled groggily, squinting at his visage across the room.

Letting out a quick chuckle while tying the belt to his pants, Ranma shook his head. "Some of us got _school_, y'know."

"Mmm," Ryoga breathed, lowering his head back to the pillow, "glad it's you rather than me."

The not-so-pigtailed martial artist paused, leaning down to catch his reflection in a small mirror atop his dresser. "You're right, Pork Butt! _I_ gotta go, not you…it's perfect!"

"What are you going on about, Ranma?" He was growing uncomfortable as the other boy moved closer with a crazed grin on his face. Sitting up, he began to inch in the opposite direction.

"You an Akane go to school, and I can search her room for the jewel! Here, put these on."

"I thought we were taking care of that in the morning?"

"Yeah, I thought I'd get the jewel before ya woke up, but that idiot had ta go an' clean her room without me."

"I didn't agree to fill in at school for you," Ryoga complained, lifting the clothes from Ranma's hands. Suddenly he brightened as the realization struck; he was going to school…with Akane.

"Watch out for the principal and Miss Hinako. Oh, and I got a test in- Hey! Are ya listening to me?" Ranma yelled, shaking the starry-eyed boy's shoulder.

"I…get to walk to, and from, school…with Akane San…"

"Snap outta it, moron!" Ranma hissed. "You're ME, don't forget, so it might not be as nice as you're thinking."

"That's okay, as long as it's with her, " Ryoga sighed, slipping into Ranma's clothes.

"Just go so you don't get left behind, an don't do nothin stupid, Stupid!"

…

Akane watched Ranma eat with a touch of interest. He was doing it _normally, _for one thing, and without an all-out battle with his father, for another. In fact, when Genma snagged his pickled radish, Ranma did little more than halfheartedly force out a crack about how fat the older man was getting.

Slipping her feet into her shoes, she kept him in her peripherals, noting his rather uncharacteristic pause as he considered which jacket to wear. Really there wasn't much of a choice, he only owned one. Most of the year he chose not to wear one at all.

"That's my Father's coat, Ranma," she said with some hesitation, closing the last button of her ensemble.

Their eyes locked for a long moment before he started to laugh, pushing the garment back into the closet.

"I knew that, uh, _Tomboy_." The word seemed to physically cause him discomfort as it slid from his lips, his hand immediately lifting to cover his mouth. "I'm so sorry, Akane!"

Stepping forward, Akane slipped her hand beneath his bangs to press against his forehead, "Are you feeling okay?"

Barely moving so as not to break contact, Ryoga bit his lip as tears began to well-up in his eyes. "I…am wonderful, thank you for asking!"

She backed away with a small frown, unsure of the level of concern she should show for the boy she'd one day marry. Maybe.

"Right," she said slowly. "We should get out the door, though, so we aren't late for school."

"Yes, out the door, with you," he began to push his fingers off of one another, turning away with a blush. "Going to school together, which is normal, for us!"

When he looked up, she was already gone.

…

Ranma looked out the window, wondering what could possibly be taking so long for Ryoga and Akane to leave the house. Checking the clock he frowned, "No wonder we're always standin' in the hall with buckets."

Then he watched in horror as Akane left alone.

Running a hand up his forehead, he pulled the ever-present bandanna down over his eyes.

…

Ryoga stood in the entryway, too stunned that Akane had left him to do much more than stare outside.

"Idiot!" Ranma hissed as he trudged up to the lost boy, "All ya had to do was follow her, now I gotta walk you ta school so _I_ don't get in trouble!"

"But…Akane?" he managed, his dream partly shattered.

"Yeah, what about her?"

"Why, why'd she leave without me?"

Ranma let out a snort, "She left without _me_, which ain't all that weird. Remember who you are?"

"I'm never washing my forehead again," he sighed, lifting his fingers to trace where Akane's hand had been.

"Riiiiight, whatever. C'mon, we gotta get to school."

…

"This is your class, so try an stay put, got it? At lunch…just follow Akane!" Ranma whispered harshly into his own ear. "This afternoon she's got cleanin' duty, so I'll come an get ya when school's out. We can switch back before she gets home. Oh, my seat's the empty one right next to her…are ya even listening?"

Ryoga stared into the classroom, dreamily blinking his new, blue eyes at the empty seat beside Akane. "You sit next to her, too?" he sighed, "What fates gave _you_ all the luck, Ranma?"

"Just get in there," the other boy gritted out, making sure he was more than fully through the doorway before he released his hold on Ryoga.

From across the room, Akane looked up to see Ryoga walking out the door as Ranma took his seat. Turning to her fiancé, she threw up her palms, "You're just letting him go?"

Ryoga stared at her for a moment, trying to catch the conversation he was missing.

"He'll get lost, Baka! Honestly, some friend you are!"

Rising to her feet, she crossed the room to their sensei, then left while shaking her head at Ryoga. Swallowing hard, he sank into his seat with an embarrassed flush.

"So what did you do _this_ time, Ranma?" came a voice from behind him. Spinning, he saw two boys; one with dark hair, the other light brown. Crinkling his brow, he scoffed out, "Y-yeah, right? Why, what did I ever do to her? She should be used to the way I mistreat her…even though she deserves so much better than me."

Daisuke paused for a moment, then shook off Ranma's odd behavior. "Sure, whatever. So, take a look at what Gosunkugi got the other day!" In a covert maneuver he slid several photo's across the desk under his elbow. Ryoga slipped them below the desk, glancing around the room to be sure their actions were unnoticed. Slowly peeling back a corner, he realized he was holding a candid shot of Akane in a swimsuit.

"Wh-wh-where did you get this?" he breathed, his face turning a bright crimson as he inspected them closer. "Can I have them?"

"You _want_ pictures of Akane?" Hiroshi asked. A moment later he added incredulously, "Is your nose bleeding?"

"I'm a man, aren't I?" Ryoga shot back defensively, shoving the pictures into his schoolbag. "As Akane's (gulp) _fiancé,_ I'm confiscating these."

The pair rolled their eyes, then moved to their seats as classes began for the day. Grinning smugly, Ryoga couldn't help but be giddy at the thought of the photos of Akane. Then it struck him: In this body, he really _was _Akane's fiancé. An evil_ g_rin began to tug at his lips.

…

_A/N: So I'm either a fool or a glutton for punishment 'cause here I go starting a new story! I make no promises on timely updates, but feel free to poke me now and then if it's been a while._

_As always, reviews are a writer's bread-and-butter, so they are more than appreciated! So, tell me what you think! _


	2. Okonomi Breakin My Heart

**Opposite Attraction**

**Disclaimer: "I don't know you, get off my purse!" … is What someone might say if I was making a profit from this, which I am not. **

**Chapter 2: Okonomi Breakin' My Heart**

* * *

><p>Akane ran for several blocks before catching sight of Ranma, whom she believed to be Ryoga, walking exactly the right path he should have been to get back to her house. Pausing to marvel at the sight, she began to waive her hand as she called out to him.<p>

"Ryoga! Hey, wait up!"

Lifting his eyes to the sky, Ranma muttered a curse before turning with a brilliant smile plastered from ear-to-ear. "Akane san, shouldn't you be at _school_ right now?"

"Oh, it's okay," she beamed back, "I got permission to walk you to my house. I was surprised to find you on the way there, actually. Normally you'd be half way to Hokkaido by now."

"This is the way back ta your place?" Ranma said, looking around as if he'd just noticed his surroundings, "I thought it was still the lobby."

"What?" Akane breathed incredulously, "But you're outside!"

"Yeah, I guess I'm missing some brain cells losin' to Ranma so much." He looked down, snubbing his toe in the dirt, "He's just so much stronger and faster, and so much better than me at everything…at least I can sleep at night knowing I'm second best ta, you know, someone as great as him."

"Don't say that, Ryoga!" Akane quickly interjected, resting a hand lightly on his shoulder. "You have so many good qualities! Ranma, he's just a conceited jerk who likes to pick on you for some reason. Like right now, what was he doing bringing you to the school and then just leaving you? I mean, honestly, what did he think would happen?"

With a quick eye roll Ranma rose to his own defense. "He didn't take me, I got lost this morning going to the bathroom. Somehow I ended up at your school. He found me in the hall outside your classroom, then made me use some new technique to memorize how ta get back to your place. That's why I was goin' the right way an all. _Maybe_ you should have a little more faith in him, Akane san, he isn't such a bad guy."

"I, I guess so," she said slowly, unsure if there was anything else she _could_ say after his last comment. Maybe he _was_ right and she, the under dog's champion, had become a bit too critical of the very one who could be viewed as her own champion. He just made it so difficult every time he opened his mouth!

Then the rest of his statement filtered through her guilt. "He _taught_ you to memorize the directions? As crazy as that sounds on its own, Ryoga, I've seen you get lost holding a map! What's really going on here?"

'_She saw right through it? Man, it seemed so good in my head, too!'_ Ranma thought, biting his lower lip as he attempted to conjure up a response.

"I'm, uh, bein' serious. My eyes are probably just bad, or something. Hearing the directions finally made em stick, so you can go back ta school now! Don't need your help, I'm good!"

He quickened his pace, forcing her to break into a light jog beside him.

"I can help you to the optometrist, see if you actually do need glasses?"

"That's okay, thanks. Go back ta school."

"But I should stay with you until you get to my house, at least. Ryoga, slow down or I won't be able to keep up!"

"Wouldn't want that, now," he sighed, coming to a halt. "Look, thanks for your concern but I _really_ wanna try doing this on my own. Ya don't gotta coddle him- uh, me all the time."

He leaned down, taking her by the shoulders as he leveled his gaze with hers. "Thanks, but I'm a big boy, Akane san. Go back ta school."

She stared into his eyes, the cocky grin on his lips very un-Ryoga like. For a moment she forgot who she was talking to and a flush spread over her cheeks. She blinked and the spell was broken, recognition flashing in her eyes as she stepped out of his grip.

"If…if you're all right then I guess I, I'll go back."

She rubbed her upper arm awkwardly for a moment, then stole a fleeting glance at him. Seeing his eyes still on her, she spun away before another blush could betray her.

'_What the heck is going on with you, it's Ryoga?'_ she berated herself, hurrying to put distance between them.

Watching her rush off, Ranma breathed a sigh of relief. "Thought you'd never leave," he mumbled, "now ta go raid your room!"

…

In class, Akane made her way to her seat beside Ryoga. He watched her sit, then flashed a nervous smile, which made her scowl. Confused, he turned his attention back to their teacher at the front of the room. Several moments later, Akane slipped a note under his arm.

Immediately his heart began to hammer in his chest. After years of writing her, here it was: a note from Akane. Possibly a _love_ note! Undoubtedly something he would treasure for the rest of his life! Unfolding it with shaking hands he read: _What is WRONG with you?_

Swallowing back his heart palpitations, he let out a soft moan before turning his eyes her way.

Seeing Ranma looking defeated took away most of Akane's fight, the void quickly filling with a heaping load of guilt. Here wasn't just some guy but Ranma, her fiancé, that she was about to lecture on how to treat others. Meanwhile she was getting all hot-and-bothered by Ryoga, of all people! Squeezing the bridge of her nose, she sucked up her pride and wrote him an apology.

Quickly reading it, he flashed her a broad grin dripping with sincerity, trust, and smothered in uncertainty. Where was his ego, the fight that she always claimed to hate? He was acting too nice. It turned her stomach, and she hated herself for it.

When the lunch bell rang, Ryoga hurridly pulled his bento from Ranma's bag, turning to Akane with a smile and a well rehearsed line about eating together. To his surprise, she had once more left him behind. Resigning himself to eating alone, he was surprised when Daisuke clapped him on the back.

"Why the long face? It's lunch, this and the end of the day are your two favorite things about school!"

Hiroshi joined in, and soon Ryoga found his mood taking a turn for the better. Having friends, a fiancé, a stable _life_, it was like candy for his soul. The longer he walked in Ranma's shoes, the more comfortable they became.

…

Ranma had slipped into Akane's room over an hour ago, hoping to be in and out in a matter of minutes. Luck was against him, it seemed, as no matter how many times he rifled through her things he simply failed to turn up the jewel.

"Dammit, Tomboy, where'd ya put the stupid thing?" he mumbled quietly, turning around as he re-scanned her room with his eyes. There was only one place he hadn't looked yet, and it was becoming more and more apparent that he couldn't avoid it any longer. Taking a step toward her dresser, he put a hand toward her underwear drawer and pulled. Sucking in a deep breath he dropped his eyes to the contents inside, biting his lips as he gingerly began to move her panties aside.

Nerve wracking as it was at first, he slowly began to get more comfortable, actually taking the time to appreciate some of the more delicate panties. Holding a satiny black pair at arms length, Akane's door swung open.

"Oh, Ryoga…kun…?" Kasumi's voice faded, her eyes coming to rest on his hands while a quiet, "Oh my," slipped from her lips. It was the most disappointed sound he'd ever heard.

"Wait, wait, Kasumi! It ain't what it looks like!"

He looked down at the black satin popping out of his fist.

"Okay, it's exactly what it looks like…but it wasn't like I planned it that way! 'Cause I didn't, ya gotta believe me!"

She took a step back, allowing him full passage through the doorway, "I think you should get your things together and go now."

"But, I really didn't mean it like this. It _looks_ bad, but I wasn't tryin' to be like the Old Letch…it's purely circumstantial!"

Kasumi stood a little straighter, inclining her head toward the open door, "You should get your things."

There really wasn't much room for an argument when it came to Kasumi, he simply didn't see it as possible TO argue with her. Hanging his head, he walked silently past and down the hall.

…

Ranma was already at the school gate when the final bell rang, readjusting the bandanna on his head as he waited for Ryoga. Twenty minutes passed before he decided to go in after him.

Peeking around the corner to their classroom, Ranma heard his own voice chuckling in a high-pitched way that made him cringe with embarrassment. Inside was Ryoga, batting his new baby blues at Akane, who looked utterly uncomfortable. In his arms was a stack of test booklets piled up to his chin.

"I can carry these out for you, Akane!" he squeaked, delighted at his newfound intimacy with his longtime crush. "I can carry anything you need, and then we can walk home, _together!_"

Akane nodded slowly, "Riight. Well, they go down the hall to the science lab. Think you can handle that…Ranma?"

His smile broadened, "Anything for my fiancé!"

"That idiot!" Ranma grumbled, rubbing his hand over his face.

"Idiot's right, he never stays to help _me_ clean!" came a voice from over his shoulder. Spinning around, he let out a sigh of relief, "Ucchan! Geeze, ya scared me!"

Ukyo leaned away from the door, one eyebrow raised, "_Ucchan?_ Gettin' awfully familiar with me, don't you think, Hibiki?"

He thought for a moment before what she said sunk in. Then he began to smirk.

"Sorry 'bout that, uh, Ukyo san. But ya know what's more important than what _I_ said is what Ranma's saying, and how he's actin' all stupid around Akane. You should wait for him ta come out here and tell him what you think about it!"

"Just what I had in mind," the chef said, hefting her battle spatula in both hands.

Ranma set Ryoga's backpack down against the wall, then made himself comfortable on top as he awaited the show. Folding his arms across his chest, he let out a chuckle as he thought to himself, '_Oh, he's gonna get it now, sucker!'_

The moment Ryoga walked through the doorway, Ukyo's spatula swung at his head. Without so much as a flinch Ryoga deflected it with the back of his fist, the booklets still held fast against his chest.

"How dare you block my attack! Take it like a man, Ranchan!" Ukyo shouted, re-swinging her now dented spatula.

Ryoga turned only slightly, again brushing her off with a block. "Is there something I can help you with, Kuonji san?"

"Ku-Kuonji?" she spat, stumbling back a step.

"That ain't nice, _Ranma,_" Ranma warned from the sideline. "You should be a little nicer to your _cute fiancé!_"

No sooner had the words escaped his mouth than a chalk board eraser found it's way into it, forcibly thrown from inside the classroom. Spitting it into his hand, Ranma marched through the doorway.

"Drop something?" he said dryly, holding it out to Akane.

She stared at him for a moment, then at the eraser, then at her own chalky hand.

"I…I'm so sorry, Ryoga! I didn't, I just…reacted. Are you okay?"

Gently, she lifted his hand in her own while searching his eyes. Feeling her heart quicken at the fight she saw stirring in them, she quickly grabbed the eraser and shyly stepped away.

"Thank you, and sorry again. My hand, it must have slipped…somehow."

Ranma swallowed uncomfortably as a sudden chill ran up his spine. Looking back toward the hall, Ryoga glared daggers at him. Beside him was Ukyo, grinning smugly.

"Don't know about you, Ranma Honey," she nudged him with her elbow, "but I think they just had a _moment!"_

Dropping the test books to the floor, Ryoga made his way to his rival. "Akane is MY fiancé, remember?" he growled, pushing Ranma in the chest, "It's about time you learned to stay away from her!"

Catching himself on a desk, Ranma took a ready stance, "You jackass! Just what in the hell are you spoutin' out now?"

"You heard me, _Pig Butt!_"

Ranma ground his teeth together, "Come up with that all on your own, eh sex changing freak?"

Akane watched in confusion, then took a step toward 'Ryoga'. For the first time that she could remember, she didn't feel comfortable putting her back to Ranma. Slowly, her fingers curled around the handle of a nearby pail of water.

"Now you insult my manhood?" Ryoga cried, raising a fist as he began to rush forward, "I won't stand for it!"

Akane braced herself, then tossed the pail over her supposed fiancé, dousing him into his cursed form. Reflexively he hid his face behind his hands, screaming, "No! Not in front of Akaneeeee!", then threw himself out of a nearby window.

The remaining students sat in silent awe at what they had just witnessed, and then Ranma began to laugh. He didn't stop for five minutes.

…

Staring out from behind the grill of her Okonomiyaki restaurant, Ukyo watched Akane curiously. The Tendo girl had arrived with Ryoga shortly after opening…two hours earlier. They seemed so comfortable together, too, which should have been a good thing from the chef's point of view. But instead she felt strange, almost betrayed. Every time she heard Akane laugh, a pang of anger shot through her heart.

'_You're supposed to be Ranchan's FIANCE, why're ya laughing at what that idiot has to say?' _

If she had been asked, Akane wouldn't have had the answer. Catching sight of the clock, reality slipped back through the cracks of her evening out with the lost boy. "Ugh, it's late!" she cried, "Kasumi and Dad are going to be wondering where I am!"

Rising to her feet, she grabbed her bag and started to leave before realizing that Ranma hadn't made any move to follow. But that was normal, technically, being that he was currently Ryoga. She stared at him for a lingering moment before dropping her gaze to the handle of her bag, clutched ever tighter in her hands.

"Uh, Ryoga?" she asked meekly, her cheeks coloring slightly, "Where are you planning on staying tonight?"

Ranma couldn't hide the grin that began to play across his face, or the blush. He had always known she was cute. Never said it aloud, but known, and this past day she was acting cuter than he had ever thought possible short of their wedding day.

"I, uh, don't really got any plans one way or the other." He pointed at his pack, "Probably just gonna camp out somewhere, like usual…why?"

Well wasn't _that_ the $100,000 question! Truth be told, it was because it suddenly felt very wrong to be leaving without him. How she was supposed to say, much less _admit_ to that answer, Akane wasn't sure of, but it was the truth. The impossible, improbable truth.

"Just, just wondering, was all."

"Right," Ranma agreed, settling back into his seat. He wasn't much in the mood to ruin the night by telling her he was currently _unable _to return to her house, especially the reason why.

They stayed uncomfortably avoiding eye contact for a moment before Akane made a break for the door, tossing a waive over her shoulder. "Thanks, Ukyo! And Ryoga, take care. I hope your night's a good one."

"I got ta see you, didn't I?"

The statement had slipped out before Ranma had had a chance to stop himself. '_Stupid Ryoga! What? Is his mouth as broken as his head or something?'_

He felt like denying the living hell out of his compliment, then running away screaming into the night. He debated the difficulty of knocking Akane and every witness unconscious before running. He even entertained simply _screaming _and hoping the whole thing just worked itself out. While he considered his options, Akane silently walked out.

"Well listen to you, Romeo!" Ukyo scoffed, "Knew you had it in you, but I didn't think you'd actually get it out of you."

"Was easier than I thought it would be," he groaned, smothering his face in his hands.

"I got that," Ukyo smirked, sitting opposite him at the table. "So, what exactly d'ya think you're up to, Shug? It isn't like Ranma's gonna be happy that you and Akane are getting along so well, and he's not dumb enough ta not notice either."

"What are you talking about, all I did was act nice ta her! Don't I always do that?"

"Don't know. There's a fine line between acting nice and goin' on a date, and this seemed like a date to me."

He looked up questioningly, but the only response the chef gave was a shrug.

"So? She, she's gone on date's with, uh, _me_ before."

"Yeah, but this time she was smiling."

Ukyo rose as a new customer entered, calling out a greeting before dropping her voice. "I don't know _why_ I'm sayin this 'cause it certainly ain't in my best interest, but maybe you should get lost in the woods for a while before you hurt Ranchan."

"…Got the hint," he replied with a nod. Walking from the restaurant, he pulled his collar tighter as a cool wind blew past. Everything seemed colder in Ryoga's body.

Setting off, he pondered the sky as he thought of a place to go. It was dark, the bottom of the cloud cover stained pink by the nearby city lights as a coming storm gathered around him. Judging by the signs, it was gearing up to be a wet night.

…

Ryoga punched another streetlight, watching it fall without satisfaction. Since running from the school building he'd gotten himself hopelessly lost. Whereas this was not typically a shock for anyone who knew _him_, he would have trouble passing it off as Ranma. Ranma had people waiting for him.

"Where is that damned luck that follows you around all the time, Saotome?" he cursed to the sky. As if simply waiting for the request, a hand fell on his shoulder. Turning he found Genma-Panda, two full bags of groceries in his arms.

"I'll get those for you, _Pop_!" he nearly squealed, shocked giddy that his prayer had been so quickly answered. Whispering a silent thank you to the universe, he followed the panda back home.

…

The wind rattled Akane's windows, making her jump at her desk. She was lost muddling over the events of her day, especially the moments with Ryoga and Ranma. Thinking about it was only confusing her more as her memories seemed to have a tough time assigning the right face to the right boy. As far as her brain was concerned, she had clearly spent the afternoon with Ryoga. But her heart and soul swore that the opposite was true.

As the windows rattled again she looked up expectantly, hoping to see Ranma acting like himself again on the other side. They could talk, have one of those rare moments where it was just the two of them and he would put all of these ridiculous uncertainties behind her. Instead she saw only herself, her disappointed gaze reflecting back in the glass. Digging her palms into her eyes, she let out a long sigh.

Opening her notebook, Akane tore into studying with new determination, hoping that school work would override her emotions for a while. Then she heard Ranma's voice call out that he was home and her heart sank; it just didn't sound like him, even for his girl form.

"What am I _doing?_" she moaned, smacking her cheeks, "I need to go hit something."

…

Ryoga began to help unpack the groceries when Kasumi lifted the second bag from his hands. "Ranma kun, you must be cold. Why not go take a bath and warm up, I can finish with this."

"Uh, okay. Sure. Thank you very much, Kasumi san!" Ryoga gushed, unused to people caring about his wellbeing. "I just _love_ warm baths, especially when they're inside!"

Akane hid as he walked past, cringing inwardly at the conversation she'd just heard. Once he was out of sight, she slipped into the kitchen.

"Neesan, do you think Ranma's acting…funny?"

Kasumi looked up from her dinner preparations to ponder the question for a moment. "I suppose he has become better behaved."

"Right!" Akane said excitedly. "He's being too nice or something…it's weird."

Kasumi laughed as she began chopping vegetables, "Is that really a problem, Akane?"

"Yes! No…I don't know?"

"Well, you always complain about his behavior. Isn't this what you wanted?"

"I, I don't know." She lay her head down on the counter, "He's acting like someone else, Neesan, and today I had a better time with Ryoga than with him! Ugh, it's making me feel like I'm going crazy."

"Hmm...Ryoga. He's certainly an interesting person, now isn't he."

Akane looked up, swearing that Kasumi's knife was coming down a bit harder. "I suppose so…?"

"Yes, well, he's gone now." She swiped the back of the knife across the cutting board, sliding the vegetables into a waiting pot, "So that's the end of that."

"He could still visit," Akane chuckled, "you don't need to make it sound so final!"

Kasumi looked up, her smile forced. Akane swallowed uncomfortably, "Did, did something _happen_, Neesan?"

"I asked him to leave."

"What?" Akane choked, unable to believe her sister was capable of such an act. "Why?"

Thinking for a moment, Kasumi set back to her preparations, "I didn't feel he was acting appropriately, so I asked him to stay elsewhere."

"What did-"

"I'd rather not talk about it, Akane. If you don't mind."

Akane closed her mouth.

…

Stepping into the changing room, Ryoga set to work removing Ranma's clothes from his body. Halfway through the realization suddenly hit that he was, in fact, still a girl. Nearly choking, he smothered his mouth beneath his palm and started to giggle.

He was about to see, and touch -no, WASH- a naked girl's body. Only in his wildest dreams had this been anywhere NEAR close to happening! Sliding open the door to the bath, he stepped into the steam-filled room full of bad thoughts.

...

Akane sat in her usual spot at the table, noting the extreme lack of a fiancé next to her. Being that food was involved, she was amazed that he wasn't already eating. His father didn't seem to share her concern, she noted, as he busily shoved more than his share down his throat. Hearing someone clear their throat nearby, Akane looked up at Nabiki.

"I'm not usually one to ruin a good time," said the older girl with a queer grin, "but it sounds as if Ranma's having a party in the bath...an exciting one, at that."

"Shampoo!" Akane growled, rising to her feet. Watching her dash from the room, Kasumi touched a finger to her lips in thought.

"Shampoo? I wonder if I should set another place at the table?"

…

Bursting through the changing room, Akane stopped just shy of breaking down the door to the bath. "Ranma? Are you in there?" she called out, hesitating as she noted the silence from the other side.

Sliding the door open a crack, she caught sight of a feminine leg lying motionless on the floor.

"Ranma?" she tried again softly, pushing the door open further. To her horror, Ranma lay face-down on the floor in his female form.

Rushing to his side she gently turned the smaller girl over, noting a considerable pool of blood on the floor beneath her head.

"Oh Kami!" she breathed, grabbing a washcloth and wiping the blood from the red head's face. It quickly became apparent that the source of the bleeding was a bloody nose, a severe one, so she began applying first aid while attempting to wake Ranma up.

After a moment Ryoga's eyes fluttered open, focusing on Akane's face.

"Akane san..?" his soprano voice croaked, bringing with it a flood of memories which lead to being naked in the bathroom with Akane. Immediately his hands flew to his crotch, covering it protectively. Feeling the obvious, but unexpected change in anatomy under his fingers, his eyes rolled up into the back of his head once more.

"R-Ranma? Oh, come on! How is this even possible?" Akane cried as blood began to spurt _through_ the cloth. Pinching his nose tighter, she grabbed a nearby pail of water and dumped it over him.

"Wake up alread-…oh, my…"

Lying across her lap was now a naked, bleeding, _male_ Ranma, good-side up. Quickly redirecting her eyes to the empty pail, she began to chuckle, "Huh. It was hot."

When Ryoga finally awoke, a towel had been draped over his midsection and a large bandage was taped across his face. Beside him, written in his own blood on the floor, was the word, 'BAKA!'

"Akane was here," he whispered, touching his fingertips to the mass of tape and gauze on his face. Then he looked down at his all-male self. Seeing the bucket nearby, remembering her expression and the position they had been in, he added two and two together and got nine.

"We were alone in the bath, she turned me back to a boy…and was _disappointed_ when I passed out?" He swallowed hard, "How far have they gone?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Thanks for the reviews! If I haven't thanked you yet, I'm getting there!**_

_**NEXT TIME: "Two If's by a Fire", see you there!**_


	3. Two If's by a Fire

**Opposite Attraction**

**Disclaimer: I **_**still**_** didn't make money off this…what gives?**

**Chapter 3: Two If's by a Fire**

* * *

><p>Akane walked through the darkened streets that surrounded her house, letting the wind blow through her body in ever cooling gusts. She welcomed it, the numbness it brought soothed the anger and confusion that seethed in her heart. Emotions that she had no explanation for, and no way to control. For some inexplicable reason, every time she was near Ranma her heart cried out in disappointment.<p>

"It's like it's a lie," she murmured, squinting her eyes as she lifted her face to another cool blast of air. Breathing it in deeply, she could smell the coming rain…and smoke?

A chill of excitement rocked through her, quickening her heart and her feet as she followed the scent. Tears began to gather in the corners of her eyes as she moved, from the wind or her own emotions, she couldn't tell. Blinking hard to clear her vision, she caught sight of an orange glow from a fire just ahead in an empty lot. There was no holding back the smile as she broke into a sprint.

…

Wiggling his toes to warm them, Ranma muttered a curse as the wind kicked up around him, making the flames snap in protest. Checking the kettle of water over the fire, he let out a relieved sigh to see it was finally boiling. It had taken over ten minutes because of the wind, but he could have his instant ramen for dinner at last.

Lifting the kettle, he saw someone skid to a halt several yards ahead of him. Through the flames he could barely see more than a feminine outline, but he knew that outline better than his own mother's.

"Akane?"

She began to walk forward, her hands shaking slightly. Shoving them deep into her pockets, she smiled down at him.

"So…this is where you ended up, Ryoga." She looked around at the rubble in the lot, "_Love_ what you've done with the place."

Ranma blinked, then smiled back in relief. He hadn't realized how alone he'd felt until seeing her again.

"Ya like it, huh? Well here, I'll pull you up a chair. Got this one from IKEA."

Reaching behind him, he tugged a cinder block off the corner of his tent and laid it alongside the one he was on, then patted it with a mischievous grin.

Akane laughed, settling in with him beside the fire. "IKEA? Never knew you were so into home décor."

"Oh sure," he deadpanned, "they share my belief in minimalist design with maximum practicality, which, as you can plainly see, works well in 'Vacant Lot Chic'."

"Well, I think you put this one together wrong," she laughed, nudging her shoulder into his, "it's as hard as a brick! Baka." Suddenly her hand flew to her mouth, "I'm SO sorry, Ryoga! I didn't mean to call you that!" Turning sideways to face him, she creased her brows together, "But…there's something _different_ about you. There's things I wouldn't normally say toyou that I keep saying _to you_."

Ranma backed away, nervously re-gathering his dinner fixings to avoid eye contact. Feeling her gaze still on him, he held up a second cup of ramen, "Did ya already eat, Akane san? I got another one'a these things, if you want."

"No thanks. I just ate."

"That's good. I probably shouldn't go around givin' my food away, anyway, this's all I got! And who knows _what_ I'd have to do ta get more!"

She leaned toward him an inch, Ranma matching her with his own equal but opposite reaction. "Wh-what're ya doin?"

"There's definitely something different, in your eyes or…it's just that you remind me of…"

Ranma cringed, waiting for her to realize the truth. He could see in her eyes that she was onto something, and he needed to re-direct that train of thought at all costs if he intended to keep his switch a secret.

"My bandanna! I'm not wearing that stupid bandanna! You've never seen me without it before, right? So that's probably it."

She visibly deflated, settling back down beside him and looking into the flames thoughtfully. "Maybe."

Ranma breathed a sigh of relief, "Yeah, that's it all right! Nothin' else weird or nothing going on!"

"Why'd you take it off?"

He paused mid-nervous chuckle, slowly turning her way, "You ask a lot of questions, y'know that?"

"I'm just curious," she replied, her attention still in the fire. "I've known you for years, and I've even seen you wear it in the bath." Her cheeks suddenly flushed at the memory of Ranma in the bath, making her shake her head to clear it.

"I'm sorry, Ryoga, you're right. I shouldn't come barging in on your dinner like this, then harass you about silly things."

"Oh, no problem Aka-"

"It's just that Ranma's been acting so strange lately," she interrupted, "I can't do anything with him anymore, I can't even talk to him! It's making me feel sort of…lonely. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I get lone-"

"I'm sure it must sound silly coming from me, living in a house that's just _full_ of people."

He opened his mouth, then hesitated and closed it again. After being cut-off twice, he was in no rush for a third go at it. Planting his chin in his palm, he gave a curt nod for her to continue.

"But I still feel that way, and _I_ think it's weird, too! It's like everyone's there, but someone's missing. And the weirdest thing of all is that lately, when I talk to _you_, Ryoga, I _don't_ feel like that anymore."

She buried her face in her hands, "Ugh, I shouldn't be saying this to you, but I don't feel like I can tell anyone else! I don't know what to do."

Ranma stared at her back, frozen by her honesty and how similar they both felt. Why, though, hadn't she talked to him like this when he actually _was_ him! Slowly, he lifted a hand to comfort her, letting it down lightly between her shoulder blades.

"You, uh, you don't gotta apologize. I'll stick around and you can talk to me whenever ya want, y'know, if it makes you feel better. I mean, just until things settle down again with you and Ranma. So don't worry, I'll have a chat with him and I'm _sure_ he'll be normal again real soon."

Akane lifted her face, turning to him with a look that made his heart skip a beat. Before he had time to think, her arms were around his neck.

"Thank you," she whispered, squeezing him tighter.

Drunkenly he moved to return her embrace, his blood pressure fighting away the cold down to his previously frozen toes. She felt so small and frail, like something he needed to protect, to keep holding on to. Why hadn't he ever hugged her back before? How many times had he stayed frozen, letting this moment pass by without remuneration?

'_Too many!'_ his mind screamed, _'But she's not holding you, she's hugging RYOGA!'_

With that realization he gently pushed her away, the loss making him cringe. Blinking as if she were waking from a dream, Akane's eyes focused on Ryoga's face and went wide.

"We probably shouldn't be quite this chummy, Akane san," he mumbled, still holding her slender shoulders.

"Yeah," she said awkwardly, beginning to rub her upper arms against a chill. As her hand slid up, their fingers touched, turning both teens to stone.

Ever so lightly she began to trace over the edge of his palm with a fingertip, then closed her eyes. "C-can you just…talk? You can say anything. Please?"

She sat framed by shadows in the flickering orange light, her hair windblown and perfectly adorable around her face. Her face; Ranma had only seen her look like this once before. At that time she had sat with her eyes closed, too, but she had been waiting for his kiss, not his words . Somehow, she had managed to make this simple, innocent request more overwhelming. Taking a long, shaky breath, he stammered out, "H-hey, how you doin' there, Tom-"

Akane's eyes shot open, staring hard into his, "What was that?"

"Wha…? What, _that?_" he tried to laugh. He went to move his hands from her shoulders, but she grabbed both of his pinky fingers.

"Go on, Ryoga," she whispered intently, "finish what you were going to say."

"I, I was sayin'…tom_bolas _are lotteries that you're real lucky at."

She blinked, "_Really? That's_ what you were going to say?"

He nodded, afraid his voice would crack if he tried to speak.

Cocking her head to the side, she eyed him suspiciously, _"REALLY?" _

"Yes, of course! You said I could say anything, that was what popped into my head!"

Releasing his fingers she stood, Ranma's hands momentarily fumbling down her sides before he pulled them back.

"Good night."

"What? Where are you…you're going home already?" he asked desperately, the cold fighting through him again.

She stared for a long moment, biting her lip as she scrutinized him. "Why did you leave my house?" she asked finally, balling her fists to steel herself for the answer.

"That can be explained, and it's a perfectly normal explanation, too!" Ranma rushed out as he lifted his cup of ramen. Pouring in the hot water, he pointed at the container, "But it'll have to wait. Don't wanna talk with my mouth full, sorry."

She eyed the cup with a slow blink, "Unless you like it crunchy, we have three minutes before you can eat it."

He groaned, looking at the directions with disgust. _'Suddenly she's a cook? Why's she always so stubborn? Uncute, macho…' _

"Ryoga?"

"Akane?"

Her eye twitched.

"Akane _san_," he quickly amended.

"Something's not right," she said slowly, "and I would really appreciate it if you'd tell me _what_ that is."

He jabbed the noodles with a pair of chopsticks to break them up, then shoved a crispy clump in his mouth. "Sorry," he said in a mangled voice, crunching the unfinished noodles between his teeth, "Don't want them getting overdone."

Akane let out a sigh, then turned and began to walk away. Watching with a heavy heart, Ranma called out, "G'night." She didn't bother with a response.

Once she'd turned the corner he whispered, "I'm sorry."

…

Brushing his teeth like a giddy fool, Ryoga thought about his plan of action for the evening. The way he saw it, if Ranma could kiss Akane…or…more…! He let out a manic chuckle, then grabbed the mouthwash. For a night like this, he would surely need fresh breath! Wiping his lips on a towel, he gave himself a quick, flashy smile in the mirror.

"Hey there, Akane," he practiced with his reflection, "Your father must have been a thief…well, not really. I mean, I have nothing against _your_ father, it's that Panda who's the thief! But, but the reason I say this is because of your eyes, they have all the stars in them. So, see, your dad must have put them there and…he had to get them from _somewhere_, right? It's not like they sell _stars!_"

Letting one side of his mouth drop slightly, he tried to replicate Ranma's cocky grin, the one that seemed to send any female recipients into a swoon. "Something's just not right yet," he muttered, leaning closer to the mirror.

"You can't force it, either you've got it or you don't."

"Hmmm," he agreed, then stiffened. Behind him in the mirror was Nabiki, looking rather amused.

"Is this going to be a new habit of yours, Saotome?" she smirked. "It seems that every time you get in the bathroom, you have trouble _getting out._"

He scratched the back of his head, his fingers tangling unexpectedly in his braid. Wrestling for a moment, he fumbled his way free. "I can _leave_ just fine!"

She stepped away from the door, "Then go."

"I am," he groused, walking past. Despite his tough act, he gave her a wide berth.

Wandering the halls, he found Ranma's room on the second try, which was a new record for Ryoga. Lifting his pajamas from where he'd left them that morning, something fell from the cuff and landed with a small clatter on the floor.

Bending down, Ryoga lifted the smooth, blue stone, turning it over in his fingers as he examined it for a clue as to what it was and why it would have been caught up in his clothes. Then he realized what he had.

"The jewel?" he whispered, closing his fist around it tightly. "I have the jewel! Now I don't have to turn back! I can keep all this, I can…keep Akane!"

…

"Moron, jerk, baka!" Akane fumed, stomping around the block once more. Too furious to go inside just yet, she'd circled her house several times in a failing attempt to calm herself down.

"Honestly, who does he think he _is?_ He's been spending too much time with Ranma, that's for sure! And so help me, if he thinks he's getting away with this, well…" A smile played at the corners of her lips for a moment, "I aught to go back there right now and give him a piece of my mind!"

Tamping down her grin, she turned back toward the empty lot.

From an upstairs window, Kasumi sighed as she watched her sister wander off once more.

"The angry vulture still circling?" Nabiki asked as she looked out from beside her.

"No, she seems to be heading away again. I hope this isn't about Ryoga."

Nabiki arched an eyebrow as she watched Kasumi wring the edge of her apron. It wasn't in her elder sister's personality to show so much negative emotion, which made her interest pique.

"Whatever would make you so concerned about _Ryoga_, he's harmless!"

Kasumi pulled back from the window and looked up and down the hallway. Dropping her voice to a conspirtory level, she said, "I caught him in Akane's room." She moved closer, "Holding her underwear!"

Nabiki's smile widened, "So? Ranma's done worse."

"But that's _normal_, they're engaged!"

"Really now, I'm not trying to defend anyone here but they're boys. Abnormally stupid ones. They do stupid things on a regular basis, and it's not the first _or_ last time Akane's underwear get targeted by someone."

"Oh, Nabiki!" Kasumi gasped, "Don't say it out loud or it'll come true!"

"I don't think me saying it will change the inevitable, Neesan."

…

Huddled with his cup by the fire, Ranma sat lost in thought. How was he going to search for the jewel if he wasn't able to set foot in the house? Would it even be possible to get Ryoga to turn back if he found it? And what the hell was going on with Akane? The questions she posed alone were enough to occupy him for the rest of the night!

If he came clean and told her the truth, maybe this whole mess could just be over with. Maybe she wouldn't be mad. And _maybe,_ if he'd been paying more attention, he would have noticed the rain begin.

Hearing his already pathetic fire sputter as it died broke him out of his thoughts, but it was the cold drips that ran down the back of his jacket collar that really got his attention.

"Aw, shoot, wait!" he yelled at the sky, shrinking in his clothes. Taking a moment to get used to the transformation, he began stuffing his belongings into Ryoga's bag and pushing that inside the tent. Curling up in the corner, he heard footfalls just outside.

"Ryoga? I have something else to say…where are you?"

'_Akane came back?'_ Ranma thought incredulously, peeking out through the doorway.

"Hello, Ryoga? Are you here?" she called, slowly circling where the fire had been. Ducking into the tent, she pushed her hood back from her head. Ranma tried to hide behind Ryoga's overstuffed knapsack, but Akane saw his movement in the dark.

"Is that you, P-chan?" she asked, bending lower to get a better look. Lifting the little piggy into her arms, she squealed in delight, "It _is_ you! Oh, I missed you baby!"

Taking another quick look around, she gave up on her search for Ryoga and tucked P-chan into her coat.

"Guess he's lost again, serves him right, too! How about me and you go home and get warmed up!"

Ranma looked up into her smiling face, her eyes so soft and accepting it made him sigh. Catching himself, he thought, _'This is why that idiot's always bein' P-chan? What a moron, fallin' all over himself just 'cause she's nice to him!' _

Pulling her hood back over her head, she pushed Ranma deeper into her jacket and ran out into the rain.

Once they were safely home, Akane gently placed him on the ground while she slipped out of her wet coat and shoes.

"Oh, P-chan, I'm so happy you're here! I've been having such an annoying day, I'm going to cuddle you _all night!_" Lifting him into the air, she brought him close and rubbed their noses together, "Who needs boys when I have my perfect little man right here!"

At this point even Ranma was putty in her hands, limply allowing himself to be carried to her room. With grins smeared across both of their faces, Akane opened her door. Pausing mid-step, she blinked twice before turning on her lights.

"Ranma…?" she asked, confirming what she thought she saw in the dark, "Why are you in _my_ room, on my bed?"

Ryoga smiled sheepishly, then giddily as his thoughts ran away with him, looking everywhere but at her. Pushing his emotions back to a manageable level, he took a deep breath and pointed to his head, "My braid got messed up. I was wondering if you could help me fix it…please? You know, if it isn't too much trouble?"

Letting out a nearly silent groan she sat down behind him on her bed, setting P-chan beside them. Ranma smirked at her groan, then questioned whether he should feel good or bad about it. It _was_ intended for him, after all.

"It's not a problem, but why are you asking for my help? You always do this yourself."

Ryoga bounced his fingers off one another, "Well, to be honest, I was looking for a r-reason to, uh…" He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and blurted out, "I wanted to see you, Akane san!"

"Um hmmm," she hummed quietly, slipping the tie off the end of his braid. Scooting closer, she took his loose hair into her hands, then pulled his head back with a jerk.

"Look, baka, I don't know what game you're trying to play with me _this_ time, but whatever's going on had better stop! Just…act like yourself again and quit this already!" Giving his hair one final tug, she let him go.

Off balance, Ryoga landed on his back across her lap, a deep flush spreading over his cheeks as he stared into her eyes. Seeing things from a different perspective while hiding in another man's life, it all seemed so simple to see what he couldn't before. Akane was always mad at Ranma…because she actually _cared_ about Ranma! Even now, she'd all but _begged_ him to do something.

The light bulb went off in his brain too brightly or too dim, either way it was disastrous. Before Akane knew what was happening, a pair of hands was pulling her face down to a very eager pair of lips.

It was all so fast, too fast to think or act or come up with a reason why not to just do it. The moment their lips should have touched, however, Ryoga's face was pounded sideways by a furious little hoof. Rolling onto his side, he swiped the back of his hand across his mouth, coming away bloody.

"I should have known you wouldn't stay away," he growled, turning his full attention to the piglet that stood defiantly between he and Akane. "Hello…P-chan."

"Bw-eee," Ranma answered in as mocking a tone as he could in his present condition.

As the two squared off Akane stared dumbfounded, trying to make sense of everything that had just happened. Then she started to scream.

"Don't you touch him! Don't you touch _me!_ Get out of my room, you, you, _pervert!"_ Lifting a nearby bokken, she swung it at Ryoga's head, "I said GET OUT!"

Falling backward to avoid being struck, Ryoga scrambled across the room in a crab-walk. Moments later he found himself being attacked from the other side by a black blur that was ricocheting off the walls.

"Curse you, Saotome!" he cried as he was struck several times in repetition.

"Is that any way to speak to your father?" came Genma's voice from the doorway. Reaching down, he grabbed him by the collar and hauled him to his feet.

"Now now, what seems to be the problem here?" Soun said soothingly, moving past his friend and into the room.

"N-nothing!" Ryoga denied quickly, still trying to avoid P-chan's attacks while in his father's grip.

"_Nothing!"_ Akane spat out, "You tried to KISS ME!"

Both parents exchanged glances, then Genma clapped Ryoga on the back. "Atta boy, son! We knew you had it in you!"

"You're _congratulating _him?" Akane looked between them wildly, "Daddy, DO something!"

"Yes, yes, you're right! Why are we standing around when this is a time to be celebrating!" Soun cheered. "There are preparations to be made, people to be called…"

"Daaad! That's not what I meant!" Akane protested, seeing the error of her big mouth.

"What are you all talking about?" Ryoga asked. Genma looked down and, with a broad grin announced, "We can finally join the Schools, now that you two have admitted your love for one another!"

"Our…?" Akane looked desperately around the room, her eyes searching for an ally. Coming to a rest on her usual accomplice, she shot out, "Ranma, what are you doing? Tell them that nothing happened!"

Still hanging from his collar, he spun to face her, "There is no honor in a lie, Akane san. If we must get…heh heh…_married_, then that is what we should do!"

Akane stood stone still, her jaw hanging limply open. There was no way to win this, not with everyone against her. Biting her lips shut as she regrouped her thoughts, she calmed her breathing and pointed at the door.

"Please Dad, Mr. Saotome, the _boy I thought I knew_, I'd like to be alone right now."

Finally freeing himself from Genma's grip, Ryoga took a step toward her, "A-Akane, I didn't-"

"No, you _didn't,_" she shot back at him before he could finish, "You never do!"

Ryoga reached out toward her, setting Ranma into action. Smiling a fang-filled death grin, he leapt back into the fray with a porcine approximation of a catchuu tenshin amigurikan. Knocking Ryoga out of the room, he waited for the father's to peacefully follow, then kicked the door closed. Turning around with his nose in the air, he paused as he caught Akane's shocked stare.

"Did you just do…?" she whispered, then shook her head. Scooping him back into her arms, she whispered, "I don't know how you did it, but that was great, thanks."

A short time later Akane found herself looking over her shoulder as she changed for bed, suddenly very aware of P-chan's presence. Despite the fact that he stared intently at the opposite wall, she felt exposed with him in the room. Yet she trusted him not to peek. That in and of itself was beyond her as he was a pig, and sneaking a peek at a naked human most likely wasn't something that most animals aspired to do. Letting out a deep breath, she quickly slipped her off her shirt, threw her nightgown on top, then shimmied out of her bra and pants from underneath. Spinning around, she confirmed that her pet was still looking in the opposite direction.

"Okay," she said, trying to smile as she walked up behind him, "let's, uh, hit the hay…heh heh."

As she settled gently on the other side of the bed, she watched Ranma peel his face from the wall. Slipping under the covers, she thought, _'This is silly, why am I acting so awkward? It's P-chan, same as always!'_

She patted a spot next to her head on the pillow, "Come here, you deserve a place of honor after saving me like that!"

Using extreme caution, Ranma tiptoed over Akane as he made his way to the top of the bed. Pausing, he looked back up at her to be sure she hadn't changed her mind and was about to punt him through the window. Experimentally laying a hoof on the pillow, he allowed several moments to pass before he dared to make another move. Slowly he lifted his eyes to hers, letting out a questioning, "Bwee?"

"What a perfect little gentleman you are!" she giggled, picking him up and giving him a kiss on the tip of his nose. Laying him down beside her, she clicked off her lamp. "Maybe you should give some pointers to that idiot of a fiancé I have. I mean, what was he _thinking_ agreeing with those two? And what he tried to…well, I guess it wasn't all that bad." She let out a sigh and pulled the covers over her head, "Why'd he have to ruin it?"

Ranma's eyes went wide. If it had been him, if he'd been the one to try, would things have gone differently?

"Oh, I'll worry about that mess in the morning!" she breathed, popping her head back out. "Good night," she whispered, pulling him closer under the covers. As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she realized that P-chan wasn't wearing his bandanna.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Dum dun DAAAA! _

_Thanks for my REVIEWS, reviewers! The more I get your gentle nudges and praise, the more I think, _

"_Man! I gotta finish that chapter even if my baby's crying, the cat's puking on the rug, my son's failing Kindergarten…and dinner ain't cooking itself! But enough of that, I gotta write!"_

_So click that button and give me a reason to slack off!_

_*Don't worry, that was all hypothetical! No lives were ruined in the making of this story.*_

**NEXT TIME: "Nothing says Loving like Akane by the Oven"**_  
><em>


	4. Nothing says Loving

Opposite Attraction

Disclaimer: From here on in, I claim to have made no claims that I would need to _dis_claim. Enjoy!

Chapter 4: Nothing says Loving like Akane by the Oven

* * *

><p>True to her word, Akane snuggled P-chan all night long. However, one might replace the word 'snuggled' with 'beat, tormented and generally abused with her love' and still come up with an accurate account of Ranma's night in Akane's bed. Had he been in human form, he may have realized that his own movements reflexively tossed and turned him to counter her punches and kicks. In pig form…not so much so.<p>

Crushed awake by a strangle hold during the night, Ranma watched helplessly from the crook of Akane's arm as a small shadow moved past her window. His senses piqued, he craned his tiny neck as far as he could to scan her room for the seemingly inevitable intruder. After half an hour passed without incident, he settled back into Akane's arms and fell asleep to the gentle sound of her breath in his ear.

On the other side of the house, the mysterious, tiny shadow came to a halt outside of Ranma's window. Gently sliding it open, the figure hissed into the room, "Wakey, wakey, m'boy!"

Groggily blinking his eyes open, Ryoga tried to focus on what he was seeing.

"Wha…what _are_ you?"

"Oh, come now! You haven't forgotten about your old Master, now have you?"

Ryoga turned to his 'father', who was busy sleeping off the alcohol he had consumed in his honor. Turning back to the tiny intruder, he mumbled, "So what's going on here? I have school in a few hours, you know."

Stepping into the glow of a streetlight, Happosai gave his pupil a wicked grin, "It's time to catch up on your training!"

'_Training?'_ Ryoga thought, gaining a grin of his own. _'If I can see what he's been doing to train, maybe I'll finally get an edge on Ranma!'_

"Fine, I'll go with you," he said, climbing free of his bed covers, "but why the middle of the night?"

Regarding him with a skeptical eye, the old man leaned closer, "You'll go? Just like that?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Ryoga asked, a sickening feeling forming in the pit of his stomach. "It's just training…right?"

Reaching behind himself, Happosai pulled out an all black outfit, complete with a bandanna for tying under one's nose. "Right-o! But you'll want to put this on," he said, tossing it to Ryoga.

'_Is this some sort of ninja training?'_ he wondered in confusion,_ 'Ranma's a ninja now, too?' _

Half an hour later, he found himself running full-tilt down the street, his stealthy outfit doing little to keep him hidden from the half dozen women following close behind.

"Just what techniques are you trying to teach me?" he gasped, ducking as a wash basin whizzed past his head.

"Technique?" the old man answered, dancing around his pupil, "Why it's the only skill a man really needs!"

"That was an all-girl's college, you old fool!"

"Obviously!" Happosai chuckled, then squinted his eyes. "So…did you get a good looksie?"

Ryoga's cheeks flushed crimson as he turned away. _'Ranma's life is going to make me anemic,'_ he thought, shakily wiping the blood that dribbled down his upper lip.

Once they took to the rooftops the chase was more than in their favor, easily shaking their pursuers in a matter of leaps. Being sure to keep close to avoid being left behind, Ryoga followed the tiny pervert home.

Perched carefully above Akane's window, Happosai turned to his new inductee, "One good turn deserves another, Ranma. I helped you to see beautiful young girls, so why don't you go into sweet Akane chan's room and get that little ol' jewel back for me."

"I would never dream of letting you use the jewel!" Ryoga huffed.

"So you still won't consider my offer to switch bodies, eh m'boy? Well then, I'll just have to do this by _force!_" Whipping out a brazier, he lunged at Ryoga shouting, "Double Heavenly Cups of Restraint!"

Counting on Ranma attempting to dodge, the old man was prepared to counter for speed. What he wasn't prepared for was Ryoga's usual style of head-on brute force. Readying himself for the chase, he was quickly stopped with a punch that sent him flying.

Dusting off his hands, Ryoga looked for a way inside on the opposite end of the house from Akane's room.

Spinning Genma around on his futon he demanded, "You knew about that, didn't you? I was almost ripped to pieces by an army of women!"

Genma blinked, then held up a sign, "I knew nothing of the Master's plans."

Staring at the words for a moment, Ryoga smacked the sign from his hand, "What's with the signs? You're not in panda form, you idiot, you're a MAN! At least speak like one if you can't manage to act like it!"

Pushing his glasses in place with his middle finger, Genma took a deep breath then whacked his "son" unconscious with another sign, the ink still wet. As he settled back onto his futon, he grinned at his handiwork. Emblazoned across Ryoga's forehead in reverse was "They're helpful when ending an argument."

…

Dawn gently lit the horizon as Akane lay awake in her bed, staring at the dozen roses that hung dry and upside-down on her wall, a layer of dust forming across the backs of the previously scarlet petals. _'That's me in a nutshell,'_ she thought,_ 'everything in my life's been turned upside-down for so long it's getting old.'_

Pulling P-chan close, she held his sleeping body pressed to her heart. Feeling him breathe, his familiar warmth against her, an ache began to stir in her chest.

"I miss you," she sighed into the top of her pet's head, "…Ranma."

Half waking to the sound of his name, Ranma looked over the covers at Akane's room. Groggily blinking his eyes, he felt her nuzzle further into his back.

"Heh, hey Tomboy," he grinned, "this dream's just like this other one I had yesterday-"

"You sure are chatty this morning!" Akane beamed, lifting him into the air above her.

Shocked into reality, Ranma's head snapped around as he recalled his present form. Watching the world slip past as Akane lowered him back to her, he felt his hooves touch down on something pleasantly soft. To his surprise he found she'd set him down on her chest.

Sucking in a sharp breath, he froze. To either side of him were Akane's breasts, and he felt death was a certainty no matter his next move.

"Oh! Did I scare you, baby? I didn't mean to lift you so high," she crooned, wrapping him in her arms and pressing him further against her cleavage. "I have to start getting ready for school, now," she smiled, leaning in to kiss his snout. Locking eyes with her pet, she couldn't help but pause; they were more intense than she remembered them ever being before.

Feeling an unexpected blush creep across her face, she rolled over and stood, placing him down softly on her bed. Speed walking across her room, she snagged her school uniform, deciding that changing her clothes in another room would be best.

"I'll be, uh, gotta go eat. And stuff," she mumbled, lingering in her doorway. "I'll leave the door open for you, okay? So if you want me…_or whatever_!" Her blush got deeper, much to her befuddlement, as she awkwardly fumbled her words. It had never been this difficult to leave P-chan before! Shaking her head, she pointed first at him, then behind herself as her mind grasped for a direction to take. "Yeah, I'm going now so…but I'll be back. Okay?"

She took a step backward, then looked longingly into Ranma's eyes. Hesitating again, she gave a quick wave and ran down the hall.

Feeling suddenly lonely, Ranma curled up in the warmth she'd left in the blankets, his plan to search for the jewel put on hold for the time being.

Akane washed her face and changed clothes before joining her sisters for breakfast, noting with a grin that both fathers were late to rise that morning. _'I hope they have hangovers, it'll serve them right!' _

As Kasumi handed her a bowl, she looked expectantly at Akane's lap. "I thought you had P-chan? Won't he need to eat?"

Akane's head jerked up, her emotions passing over her features for just a fraction of a second, but that was all Nabiki needed. Before she could answer, Nabiki cracked a perfectly crooked smile.

"Well now, that was an interesting response, Akane."

The youngest Tendo scrutinized her breakfast for a long moment, then lifted her eyes. "I know this is going to sound strange, but I'm not so sure about P-chan. I think I might just have someone else's overly friendly pet pig."

"Akane," Nabiki drolled, "for the amount of time that he _doesn't_ spend here, I think he may _already_ be someone else's overly friendly pet pig."

"This is different! Like last night, with Ranma-"

"Who's right here!" Kasumi smiled brightly. "Would you like some breakfast, Ranma kun?"

"I don't think you need to ask," Nabiki mumbled, for once _not_ receiving an angry glare from her younger sister.

"Thank you very much," Ryoga said graciously, oblivious to the insult. Turning to Akane, a blush crept over his face. "O-ohayo, Akane-san. Did you sleep well?"

Akane's fist tightened, snapping her chopsticks to pieces. Swinging an irate glare at him, she tossed the splintered wood onto the table.

"Honestly, that's your opening line? Don't talk to me."

Gulping down a glass of juice, she made a break for the door.

Ryoga frowned at the chopstick shards, then rushed after her. "Wait, Akane-san! We should talk about last night!"

"You're an idiot, not much more to discuss!" she snapped over her shoulder.

"But, but we almost kissed and now we're getting married! How doesn't that count for a discussion?"

Her face going three shades of red, Akane spun to face him. Over his shoulder she saw Kasumi gasp in shock while Nabiki spit her drink across the table.

"Baka! Don't talk like that in front of everyone! Hurry up and we can _discuss_ your idiocy on the way to school."

Rushing to gather his bag and shoes, Ryoga met Akane outside. The moment he was in sight, however, she started ahead without him.

"Wait! Wait, please, Akane san!"

Keeping quiet until they'd cleared the front gate, she turned on him, "What is with you? Why do you keep calling me that? And now you're all about getting married? Honestly, Ranma, I don't know who you even are anymore!"

The moment the words were out of her mouth, a chord struck in her head. Grabbing him by the shoulders, she stared hard into his eyes.

"Akane…?" Ryoga managed to squeak. Gazing back, misreading her every intent in his own private dream-world, he decided that now was the time to strike…it _was_ the springtime of his youth, after all.

Grasping either side of her face he tugged her forward, bringing his lips eagerly towards hers.

"What do you think you're _doing?_" she screamed in exasperation, reeling back before punting him into the sky.

"But I didn't _get_ _to _do anything yet!" he cried, streaking out of sight.

Watching helplessly from the window, Ranma felt all the hairs on his tiny body bristle in anticipation of a fight. Scrambling to the floor, he rushed to his room for something to wear. Only able to carry a pair of pants, he dashed down the stairs, snagging a cup of tea as he ran past the table. Alone in the entryway, he splashed himself human, jumped into his pants and a pair of shoes, then sprinted toward school.

…

Landing in the deep end Furinkan High's swimming pool, Ryoga surfaced a sputtering red-head.

'_At least she has good aim, but why do I keep winding up in the pool?'_ he thought as he made his way to the ladder. Putting one arm in front of the other, he realized it had been over two years since he'd swum as a human. Despite the temperature being well below the comfort level, to Ryoga it felt wonderful.

Taking a few laps, he began to laugh giddily while thinking of Akane. She'd hit him, yelled at him and called him names on several occasions over the last two days, but she'd done that to Ranma as well. If he kept this up, he was _certain_ he'd be able to marry her!

Like the pool, reality came back cold, and in the form of his former self.

"Ryoga! What kinda crap do you think you're pulling with Akane? Get out of there right now!"

Doing the back stroke, the red-head lazily turned toward Ranma's voice, "Why don't you come in and get me?"

Holding back more than he thought possible, Ranma ground his teeth together, "You know why."

"Afraid to get your little _pig_gies wet?"

Ranma stepped to the edge of the pool, held up his hands, and hollered, "MOKO TAKA-"

"All right, all right! I'm coming out! What were you thinking, you'd blow up the whole pool!"

"Ain't never done _me_ any favors."

Climbing out of the water, Ryoga stepped casually up to his rival. "So what has you so bothered, this isn't like the Ranma Saotome I know…where's your shirt? You'll give me a cold."

"Look who's talking, swimming with my body in the middle of fall!" Taking a moment, Ranma let out a sigh, "C'mon, let's get some hot water. I ain't fightin' you when you're a girl."

…

"Saotome Ranma?" Miss Hinako's voice called out with its usual childish cadence. "Mr. Saotome?" she tried again, glancing over her roll call book at his empty chair and then at Akane, who was busy glowering at her pencil. Shaking her head and mumbling about delinquents, she placed a red mark next to his name and moved on.

It wasn't until halfway through her first class that Akane acknowledged his absence, and then only due to someone shouting his name in a war cry outside the window.

"Ranma's fighting someone again!" someone announced. A moment later and the class was pressed to the glass to watch the duel.

"That guy's not wearing a shirt!"

"Ooh, let me see! Is he cute?"

"If he's strong enough to be fighting Ranma, the less clothes the better!"

"Hey, if you girls are looking for someone to take off their shirt, I know some eligible young bachelors right here."

"You wish!"

"Wait. Did Ranma just…lose?"

At the last word, Akane's head shot up. Unable to act indifferent any longer she pushed her way through the crowd to stare at her fallen fiancé.

"Ranma," she breathed. Running from the room, she didn't allow herself to think as her feet carried her down hallways and through doors, skidding to a halt before dropping to her knees before him.

"Are you all right?" she asked quietly, brushing his hair and debris from his face with her fingertips. "What happened, who did this?"

Squinting his eyes open, Ryoga lifted his head from a pile of dirt to see Akane by his side.

"No, Akane, I don't deserve your pity!" he cried, literally, as he attempted to make an escape. Too dizzy to stand, he fell at her feet.

Crouching down, Akane offered her back, "Need a ride to the infirmary?"

"I'll carry him, Akane."

Looking up as he stepped toward her, Akane stared daggers at 'Ryoga'. Rising quickly, she poked a finger into his bare chest, "I don't think so, what did you do _this time? _Just look at him, you took it too far!"

Ranma smirked. "I ain't gonna lie, I'd love ta take credit for pounding the little pervert into the ground, but he did it to himself."

Akane turned to take in the full scene: two boys, one hole in the ground, and only one who could have done it.

"Isn't that _your_ Breaking Point technique, Ryoga?" she said carefully, watching his reaction with interest. The two boys looked at each other, realizing they were acting a bit too much like themselves as of late.

Swallowing hard, Ryoga wiped the tears from his eyes and stood.

"I, uh, I don't need your help, Pork Butt. And how could I call myself a man if I accepted help from some…sex…less…macho…" Pausing, he struggled for the breath to continue insulting the perfection that was Akane.

"Don't overdo it," Ranma growled into his ear, looping Ryoga's arm across his shoulders to steady him.

"He thought he could use it against me, Akane san," Ranma said with an eye roll, "He must'a forgot that _I_ had ta go through a _lot_ _of training _so my body could handle blowing something up in my face! Jackass."

"You're right. I, Ranma, _am_ an impulsive jackass," Ryoga grinned at his rival. "Happy?"

"I don't think we should go back ta discussing you're _impulses_ right now," Ranma warned, gripping his arm a little tighter. Ryoga pulled himself free of Ranma's grasp.

"Admit it Rrrrr-" He darted a glance at Akane, "_Ryoga! _You're just jealous because I'm man enough to admit how I feel, which is something you can't do!"

Akane watched all the muscles on the typically lost boy go tense. As opposed to his customary wandering state, he seemed pretty one-directional at the moment, and that direction was going to get them all into trouble. Stepping forward, she lay a hand against both boy's chests and pushed them apart.

"That's enough, from _both_ of you!" she quickly added before either one could claim a victory. "_I'll_ take Ranma to get cleaned up…and I'll talk to _you_ later."

Looking down at her hand pressed to bare, muscled flesh, she pulled it back with a blush. "Honestly, Ryoga, put on a shirt!"

Ranma watched them go, a mixture of regret, loss and jealousy washing over him. Tossed aside, not being chased by a harem of girls, waiting around with the hope that Akane would notice or think of him long enough to seek him out… this was not where Ranma Saotome belonged!

…

As they waited for the nurse, Akane and Ryoga sat immersed in a pregnant silence that was well past its due date. Shifting uncomfortably on his cot, Ryoga began toying with the edge of the pillow case as he cleared his throat, "I, uh, I think that maybe we should talk, Akane."

He twitched as he swallowed the "san" after her name. Continuing at her silence, he croaked out, "It's just that a lot happened last night, and I'd like to try and clear some of it up."

"I'll go see what the nurse is doing," Akane answered, pushing the curtain-divider aside. Pausing halfway through, she looked back for a moment. Seizing the opportunity, Ryoga blurted out, "I don't want you going to see him after school!"

"What?" she breathed, one eyebrow falling incredulously down. "What gives you the right to tell me what I can do?"

"Well, I'm your fiancé," he said with a touch of sternness he was having trouble pulling off. "So…so I don't think it's right to be alone with another man. And…and that's final."

"Is that what _you_ think?"

Ryoga, unsure of what to do about the challenge in her tone, swallowed and gave a quick nod.

"Un-be-livable," she scoffed. "I'm going now, so you can have plenty of time alone with your THOUGHTS!"

Looking for an outlet for her anger Akane attempted to slam the curtains, fumbling her exit as she did so. Watching her stomp off, he knew he was in for a bad day.

After school had ended, Ryoga, certain that Akane would be sneaking off to see Ranma, tailed close behind his fake fiancé. Watching her slip around the wall into an abandoned lot, he cracked his knuckles as his fingers curled into a fist. He needed to be certain that he was correct, however, and that required stealth. Lucky for him he'd had his 'ninja' training the night before!

Slipping into the shadows, he began to slink around the perimeter of the wall for a good vantage point.

…

Unsure of what she was or _should_ be feeling, Akane took a deep breath, stuck her chin out and strode toward Ryoga's tent. Seeing it zipped closed, she faltered; what, if any, _was_ the etiquette for announcing oneself at a tent? Holding up a fist to knock, she quickly let her hand fall open as there was nothing to knock on. Should she _slap_ the tent? Give it a little shake? She was really feeling out of her element when a shadow fell across from behind, startling her out of her deliberation.

Her palm still open, Akane spun with a smile, making Ranma take a step back.

"Wasn't sure you'd really wanna see me after what happened before," he said cautiously, glancing at her slapping-hand. Following his eyes, she let out a short laugh and pulled it to her chest, laying her other one overtop.

"Well, glad to be seeing _less_ of you," she chuckled, pointing a finger at his chest, "because of the shirt." He looked down, then back up at her through his bangs. _'Yay, another awkward moment,' _she groaned to herself.

"Right, sorry 'bout that but I was in a bit of a rush this morning," Ranma said evenly, trying to push back the anger that he'd just been reminded of.

"I guess you just couldn't wait to fight Ranma, huh?" Akane tried to smile, but it came off too forced. Letting out a breath, she sagged. "What was that all about, anyway? I know you have your differences, and he can be an insensitive jerk who only thinks about himself, but it's been a while since you two actually fought like that."

"Wanna get out of the wind?" Ranma asked in a defeated voice as he turned and went into the tent, holding the flap open for her to follow suit. Biting her lips, she hesitated before ducking inside. Once they were seated, side-by-side with a careful distance between them, Ranma replied, "I saw what he tried ta do in front of your house. It made me lose my head a little."

She pulled her legs up, hiding her lips behind her knees. "You saw that?" she asked quietly, feeling suddenly fidgety, "I wasn't too happy about it myself, you know."

"Yeah, well, I was _really_ not happy about it, Akane. I mean, who does he think he _is_ pullin that crap?"

"Hmmm," she nodded, turning her face slightly, "I believe he thinks he's my future husband. So," she locked her eyes on him, "what do you think about that…Ryoga?"

The words chilled Ranma to the core, his stomach twisting into a knot. Unable to speak, his mind began to swim in the thought that he had lost her to Ryoga. LOST TO RYOGA?

"Listen to me, Akane," he said suddenly, turning to take her by the shoulders, "for just a little while at least, stay away from Ranma."

"You _just_ want me to stay away?" she asked intently, certain that there was more to what he was trying to say.

"Easier said than done," came a sharp reply from outside. Stepping closer, Ryoga's silhouette filled the mouth of the tent, choking it closed.

"You _followed_ me?" Akane balked, shrugging off Ranma's hold on her, "Why?"

"Because," Ryoga tried to shout back, his convictions crumbling as he gazed at her. "Because I don't trust him."

"That's funny, 'cause I'm havin a similar problem," Ranma growled in a dangerous tone.

Seeing that she was back in between the pair, and noting their unusual personality shifts, Akane faked a smile as she reached for her bag; It was time for a test.

"There's no need to fight! Why don't you have a seat, Ranma, then you two can talk it out…while trying some of _my_ cookies from class today!" She lifted a small bundle up in the air, "Wait until you see them, I got really creative this time!"

"That sounds wonderful!" Ryoga beamed, flashing a fang-less wicked grin at his nemesis. Ranma immediately began to do breathing exercises, preparing for the trials that lay ahead.

"Go ahead, Akane-san," he said between even breaths, "you know how I always _love_ your cooking."

"Great," she beamed at the pair, "I'm glad everyone's excited. Here they are, let me know what you think!"

Ryoga stared at the bundle she procured from her schoolbag, a tear welling in his borrowed baby blues. Ranma remained as neutral as he could manage, the fear in his eyes swirling in the storm that lay at their centers.

Untying the ribbon, Akane smoothed the wrapper flat around her petite pile of culinary inspiration. "So who wants first dibs?"

Ranma pushed the cookies toward Ryoga, "Why doesn't her fiancé take a crack at it?"

"I will!" the other boy said boldly. "It's a great privilege to have a girl cook for you!" With that proclaimed, he scooped up several cookies and popped them into his mouth at once. As the tears streamed from his eyes, Ranma began to laugh, "How're you enjoying that privilege, now?"

"I'm overwhelmed…with _joy_!"

"Well said, _Ranma._" Turning her site's on the real Ranma, she held a cookie out to him, "And what about _you?_"

"Of course, just give me a sec to take my last breath."

"What was that?" she asked, leaning closer.

"Just gotta catch my breath, Akane san. I'm just so _happy_ you'd make something for _me_. I mean, It's not like I, Ryoga, mean anything to you, right?"

"Well, you're a great friend!" she said in the most up-beat tone of voice she could muster, feeling guilty at the turn in the conversation. Trying to catch both boys' reactions in her peripherals, she lifted the cookies higher, "Why don't you just eat one, Ryoga?"

"I will."

"Then _do_ it!"

With a shaking hand, Ranma took the cookie from her fingers. Examining its jelly-filled center he turned to her, "What theme were you going for this time, 'Zombie Apocalypse'?"

"I didn't ask how it _looked!_" she huffed, growing more flustered by the second. "Just eat it, I'm sure it tastes fine!"

"All right, calm down," he barely soothed, squeezing his eyes shut and throwing the cookie down his throat. As he collapsed to the ground, he moaned, "Horrible…horrible…"

Akane leaned down, her eyes practically glowing in triumph, "What was that, _Ryoga?_ You've always _loved_ my cooking so much, remember?"

Watching Akane slip out of whatever favor he had left with her, Ryoga grabbed another fist-full, "See, Akane! Only I, your TRUE fiancé, am fit enough to appreciate your cooking!"

Looking back at him, her eyebrows unexpectedly knit together, "Are you saying that I cook _bad? _Why do you always have to insult everything I do?"

"Wha…? N-no! NO, of course you don't cook bad! I'm just saying that only I _like_ it!"

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

Leaning back, Ranma watched the sparks fly. After years of experience, he knew there was no winning for Ryoga so long as he was playing with the fire that was Ranma's life.

"Gotta love dinner and a movie!" he smirked, habitually tossing another cookie into his mouth. Choking immediately, he began to clutch at his throat while in his death throes.

"Oh, Ryoga! Are you okay?" Akane shrieked, forgetting her argument and wrapping her arms around him as she prepared to do the Heimlich Maneuver. Holding up a hand, Ranma gasped, "I'm all right. The cookie just went down."

"The wrong way?"

"…Sure."

"Well I'm glad you're all right," she said quietly into his ear, his body still held against her. Turning his head to the side, he cracked a cocky grin, "It was touch-and-go for a moment there."

Letting out a light laugh, Akane became acutely aware of his closeness, their faces mere inches apart. Passing her tongue over her lips, she breathed, "Don't exaggerate. I wouldn't have let anything happen to you. After all, you're a great…friend… "

He felt her breath roll over him, close enough that it was still hot. With each rise and fall of her chest, the tension from earlier lifted away, leaving an intoxicated sensation in its wake.

"A-Akane?" came a soft voice from behind the pair, "What are you doing? What are you doing with _him_?"

Looking down at the boy in her arms, she had to remind herself once more that she was holding the wrong one. Despite that reality, she also couldn't deny that it didn't feel like a mistake. Before the couple could have the time to feel properly ashamed, a bike tire crashed through the side of the tent to land on Ryoga's head.

"Nihao! I have too too delicious delivery…Airen! What you doing here?"

Ranma and Akane stared incredulously at Shampoo, who beamed happily at the crushed boy under her tire, who stared miserably at the tent floor he was currently kissing. Pulling back, Akane pursed her lips, "You ordered take-out…from Shampoo?"

"I ate all my ramen," Ranma shrugged matter-of-fact.

"Why not just ask _me_ to cook for you?"

Turning to face her, he planted a fist on his hip, "Are we _really_ doing this? What about _him, _your future husband?"

"He hates everything I cook, you were the only one who didn't!" she shot back, not even sparing Ryoga so much as a glance. She could feel her cheeks flush as the corners of her eyes stung with tears, hating herself for the loss of control as the truth spilled from her lips.

"You never brought me anything before!" He paused as a thought struck him, "…Did you?"

"I know I didn't," she said quieter, missing his utter relief at her answer. "But things are, well, you should have asked me. I would have liked it if you had."

Stepping down from her bike, Shampoo held out her delivery, "You is better off not eating Akane's food, it kill stronger men than you. Someone pay now?"

"Thank you, Shampoo, for your ever welcomed input," Akane derided, tucking the remaining cookies back into their pouch before they were spotted and thus ridiculed by the Chinese Amazon. The same Chinese Amazon who was eying her…approvingly?

"You is with Lost Boy now?" Shampoo asked, looking at the pair. "I knew you come around sooner or later! Is plain to see Airen," she lifted Ryoga's smashed face by the hair, "agree with Shampoo."

Shaking his features normal, Ryoga swatted at Shampoo's hand on the back of his head. "Get off! I don't know what you're talking about, I still have every intention of marrying Akane san."

Akane stared at him, her heart tightening in her chest. Why was it that every time he said what she'd wanted so long to hear it made her feel suffocated? The bigger question, though, was why he was suddenly able to say it in the first place. Turning slowly she took in 'Ryoga', who was warily regarding the delivery girl. Before she had time to think, his back materialized before her, his hands wrapped around Shampoo's wrists as he blocked her attack.

"Attackin' Akane…that ain't too professional, Shampoo. Remember, you're still on the clock." Reaching into his pocket, he pressed several bills into her palm. "Thanks for the grub."

Leading her outside, he pulled her bike free and set it before her, "Get back ta Four Eyes and the Old Hag. If you want, I'll even let Ranma walk you home."

Ryoga's head snapped around, "Why should I do that?"

Ranma smiled wickedly at him, "But _Ranma,_ that's just what you do. You don't wanna hurt her feelings, do you?"

Looking dismally at his arm, where Shampoo had already attached herself, Ryoga scowled. "I don't really care how she feels."

Smashing him with a chui, the Amazon mounted her bike, "You is rude, I no forget this!"

Watching her peddle away, Ryoga turned to the pair and held out his hand, "Come on, Akane, let's head home ourselves."

"Hey," Ranma interrupted, grabbing him and leading him off, "can I talk ta you a sec?"

Ryoga watched Akane over his shoulder, calling back, "I'll be right back, wait for me!"

"Shuddup!" Ranma hissed, "What are you _doing?_ At this rate, Akane'll have us figured out faster than you can spit, and I'll never hear the end of it! Quit actin' like _you _and start acting more like who you're supposed ta be, you idiot!"

"I find it difficult to see why I should be doing anything to help you, Ranma. For once in my wretched life I'm actually happy, just let me have this a little longer. From what I've seen, the worst thing that could happen is an improvement in your grades."

Ranma clenched his teeth. "Have you even been _tryin'_ to find the jewel?"

"I am a man true to his word, Ranma."

Ranma thought for a moment, but he couldn't recall Ryoga saying anything about helping find the jewel in the first place.

"Hey, now, wait a second-"

"If you'll excuse _us_…" Ryoga interrupted. Poking him in the shoulder with his finger, he turned the other boy enough to brush past. When he reached Akane, she continued to stare past him at Ranma for a lingering moment. With a heavy heart, the martial artist previously known as Ranma gave her a smile and a wave goodbye.

Returning them hesitantly, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then looked up at Ryoga, who was offering his arm to her. A moment later and she was walking, alone, on the top of the wall that surrounded the lot. Hopping onto the adjoining fence top with a waiver, Ranma swore she flashed him a wink before continuing out of sight.

His confidence renewed by her actions, he sat to eat with his usual gusto.

"So you wanna play games, huh, Ryoga?" Leaping to his feet, he pointed his chopsticks to the heavens as he cried out, "Well it's my turn now!"

…

After ducking and dodging Ryoga's advances for the remainder of the walk home, Akane endured the Fathers' preliminary celebration over the inevitable wedding. After dinner, they were out again for another night of drinking.

Excusing herself to bed early, Akane closed her curtains and did a double check to be sure that she wasn't being watched by anyone outside her room or within. Once she was certain it was clear, she opened her closet door and lifted a stuffed pig out. Tugging a loose string on its back, she stuck a finger in to make the hole larger, then tugged out a small cloth wrapping.

Taking a deep breath, she lifted each corner slowly, smoothing the cloth flat as she went. Already knowing the outcome before she was there, she lifted the last corner to reveal that the jewel was gone.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Well, Easter and my son's birthday stalled this chapter…is what I'd like to use as my main excuse. But I can't. The REAL reason is The Hunger Games. I'd wanted to read it, forgot I had the trilogy on my Kindle, and then the movie previews reminded me. Innocently, I started to read…and didn't stop until the books ran out! I'm so bad! For some reason, even after finishing, the writing was SO different from what I was doing with this that I couldn't get back into my writing groove until after the holidays and birthday(s, he had 3 parties) passed. So thanks, both for putting up with the delay and for my growing number of reviews! _

**Next time: The Curious Case of Three Girls in One Night**

**SEE YA!**


	5. The Curious Case of 3 Girls in 1 Night

-I hope you have a moment, 'cause this chapter's a bit longer than normal!-

* * *

><p>Opposite Attraction<p>

Disclaimer: "A man walked into a bar…he said 'Ow!'" That's how I feel about disclaimers, just without the drinking.

Chapter 5: The Curious Case of Three Girls in One Night

* * *

><p>Staring at the bicycle-sized hole in the side of the tent, Ranma puffed another misty breath into the crisp night air. If it was stupid games that Ryoga wanted to play, he could have them, and all the stupid that Ranma could heap on with 'em! If there was one good thing about the School of Anything Goes, it was that he could make most of it up as he went along. And after watching Ryoga try to kiss Akane…more than once…using <em>his<em> body to do it…he had made up quite a few "new moves" that he was just itching to try out.

…

Angrily jamming the jewel's empty cover back into her stuffed pig, Akane bit her lip. The way that Ranma was acting too forward, Ryoga toying with her overly confused emotions, ALL of the emotional torment she'd had to go through just to keep her in the dark about the missing jewel and the two boys' obvious hand in its disappearance!

Rising to her feet with conviction, she kicked the closet closed on the grinning swine and hurried out of the room. Wrapping her knuckles twice on a door down the hall, she waited impatiently for it to open. When it did, she started to smile.

"I need your help."

"Well, this is new," replied Nabiki.

…

Ryoga watched TV, happily allowing Kasumi to bring him tea and mochi, she was so nice! Really, was there a better life than Ranma's?

"Lucky bastard," he muttered under his breath just before a sneeze. Followed by another.

"Oh my! Someone must have a lot to say about you tonight!" the eldest Tendo daughter smiled, settling down beside him. "I do hope it's nothing bad."

Ryoga let out a gruff laugh, "I, Ranma Saotome, don't need to concern myself with such things, Kasumi san. Nothing _bad_ happens to me." He clenched his fist, "I'm too Goddamn lucky for that!"

…

The new morning broke with a dazzling entrance, the sun shimmering off a fresh layer of frost as it made it's way across the sky. The night had been the coldest of the year so far, and the rest of the week was slated to possibly break a few records. But Ranma was unaware of this being that he currently had no way to follow the news or weather, he just had the frozen joints of a man sleeping outside in a horribly ripped tent to gauge the temperature.

"Why can't Shampoo just use a friggin _door?_" he groused through his chattering teeth, shoving his nose deeper into the sleeping bag. After a moment's debate of which was warmer, he crawled free and began to stretch for a morning jog.

Down the street Akane burst through her front door with a smile, taking in all the splendor that the morning had to offer. Fixing a beautifully handmade headband over her ears, she silently thanked Kasumi for her knitting skills as she began to run.

Lost in her surroundings, she marveled at each delicate, ice-encrusted leaf. Pausing to blow a warm breath over several, she watched in delight as the miniscule water crystals melted away. Spinning on her heel as she began her run, she smacked into another jogger, the impact staggering her backward. Dazed, her footing began to give way beneath her before a hand clamped around her wrist and pulled her upright again.

"Watch where you're goin', baka."

"I-I'm sorry," she stuttered, blinking her vision strait. The moment her eyes focused they went wide with recognition, making her tear her wrist free and take a step back. "Why _good morning_, Ryoga."

"And you're welcome," Ranma said a bit sourly, staring with envy at her warm ears.

Following his gaze, she lifted the headband from her ear a pinch, "I must not have heard you because of this, it's just so warm and thick and comfortable, doesn't let a bit of cold air get through!" Letting it snap back into place, she smiled savagely, "You look a little…chilly."

Ranma coughed into his hands, "You know me, I'm used ta this kinda stuff, Akane san."

"Well, I suppose you won't want these, then?" She lifted a pair of mittens out of her pocket, instantly lighting up Ranma's eyes.

"Oh man, thanks!" he said, reaching out to take them. At the last second, Akane pulled her hand back.

"How much do you want them?"

Ranma paused, slowly recoiling as he regarded her with caution. "Why're ya asking that, now?"

She blinked slowly, "How bad?"

He let out a long breath, "And here I thought you were so nice, but tryin' ta blackmail me? Why, Akane san, you better watch it or you'll ruin the perfect image I have of you."

"Oh, whatever," she said, rolling her eyes. Tossing the mittens against his chest, she waited for him to start shoving his hands in before grinning.

"I made them myself, put _all_ my heart and soul into them!"

Ranma watched in horror as three fingers on his left hand popped through, followed by two on his right.

"So…how do you like them, _Ryoga?_"

Clenching his hands he grimaced, spinning it into a forced smile as he turned his head back up. "I think they sure are swell! Are ya sure you don't need them for…something else?"

"Honestly, they're _mittens_! What else could you do with them aside from wear them?" Akane laughed, beginning to resume her jog.

He looked at his hands, which he could easily see through the loose stitching of the things she was trying to pass off as outerwear, then followed after her.

"You could probably use 'em as fishing nets," he said with a crooked grin. She shot him an agitated look. "You're right, what was I thinking?" he continued. "These would make terrible fishnets," he waggled his fingers through the holes, "maybe a mask?"

As she turned back to shoot him another unimpressed glare, he lifted his mittened hands over his eyes, which she could clearly see between his fingers through her knitting. Making eye contact, she couldn't help but start to laugh, which she tried to pass off as a cough by quickly throwing a hand over her mouth and turning away.

'_Stick to the plan, Akane! You have to be sure he's Ranma for this to work!'_

"There's nothing wrong with them," she scolded with as much venom as her voice would allow while smiling.

"I don't know," he smirked from beneath his hands, "I think these things got into a fight or something…and lost."

If she'd taken the time to actually _try_ when making the mittens, she'd be half ready to launch him into orbit by this point. But she hadn't wanted them to come out nice, quite the opposite, actually. It was just a test laced with a dose of revenge; give him what he'd want but not how he'd want it, then judge the reaction. Ranma would mock anything done sub-par, Ryoga would love it so long as it passed through Akane's hands. So far, the outcome was turning out to be exactly what she thought it would be.

"Oh, Ryoga, you're such a kidder!" she laughed, punching him in the side none-too-gently. Rubbing a hand over the spot, Ranma let out a breath.

"Ah, they ain't that bad, Akane san, I was just messing with you. So, uh, thanks a lot for thinkin' of me. They'll come in handy when I'm freezing my butt off tonight."

Akane turned to him again, her features softening with a sudden pang of guilt. "Was it that cold last night? I mean, sleeping out here…I guess I never thought about it till now."

'_Me neither,'_ he thought dismally.

"You don't need ta worry about me," he said, forcing a smile. "So, what do you and, uh, well…what do ya got planned for today?"

"Do you mean me and Ranma?"

He tripped over his next step.

"I don't have anything planned with him," she continued, "aside from the regular things like school and dinner and watching TV together, maybe some sparring- he's finally training with me! Oh, and I guess he's getting serious about school because he wants to study tonight." She watched Ranma carefully out of the corner of her eye, "We'll probably be up _late_ into the night, just the two of us, _alone. _He said he really enjoys studying now. With me."

"Sounds…great," he growled, "if you like that sort'a boring stuff. Me, I'd actually _do_ something with you, if it were up to me. I mean, if we were dating or whatever, which we ain't."

The corner of her mouth tugged up as she turned to take him in, "What kind of 'something' would you do? Convince me enough and I might just join _you_ for the evening instead."

Feeling his jaw fall agape, Ranma quickly pulled himself together. Wrestling with himself for a long moment, he weighed what he was about to do. Any ground he gained with Akane was gained against himself when they switched back to their normal bodies, but he hated the idea of her and Ryoga together, no matter how temporary. Unable to get around the feeling, he flashed her a grin, "Come see me, Akane san. He'll probably just say something dumb and make you mad, but I'll always think of you as the best thing that ever happened to me."

Their eyes locking as they matched strides, he watched a blush wash across her face. Swallowing the lump that suddenly formed in his throat, he faced forward again, finding that he was out of words to say.

After several minutes passed, Akane came to a halt at a street corner. "I have to go, it's almost time for school. Will you be all right getting back, do you want me to show you the way?"

"I'm good, thanks, don't wanna make you late or nothing. Bet you got a nice breakfast waiting for you, too."

She took a step closer, lifting a hand to touch him then letting it fall away. Dropping her eyes, she stepped back again.

"I'll see you, tonight, so please…just take care of yourself, okay?"

Ranma felt his cheeks redden, gripping the mittens tighter as she turned and sprinted away.

…

Lost in the ever present fog that seemed to surround her as of late, Akane stared intently at her notebook, her pen moving on its own in her hand while her mind wandered. A brief moment away from her thoughts let her focus on what she'd been doing, which was writing, tracing and re-tracing Ranma's name until she'd broken through the page. With a start she threw her hands over it, stealing a sideways look to see if 'Ranma' had noticed beside her.

From the way he was staring with his jaw in his lap, she ventured to guess that he had. Taking a deep breath she flipped to a clean sheet and tried to focus on the blackboard, but her mind was stuck in a loop.

'_I should be mad at him, he deserves every BIT of what he's going through!'_ she thought as her brows cinched together. _'It's supposed to be colder tonight than it was last night…'_

Then an idea struck her.

"Psst! Uh, Ranma!" she hissed, resting her chin on her palm to hide her mouth. Taking a moment to realize she'd spoken to _him_, Ryoga spun to face her.

"ME!" he grinned, his fingers thumping off his chest, "You need something from ME?"

Trying to signal him to be quieter, Akane began to make slashing motions over her neck while shaking her head. Ryoga, unsure of what she was trying to say, leaned closer and whispered loudly, "I can't hear you, Akane san."

Akane rolled her eyes and tore off a corner of paper for a note, then held up an index finger to tell him to wait. Ryoga leaned closer.

"What are you writing?" he whispered loudly while rising off his seat.

"Just wait a sec," she gritted from between her teeth, still hoping not to be drawing as much attention as she knew they were.

With a sudden ungraceful flop, Ryoga fell off his chair and landed face-first in Akane's lap.

"What are you _doing?_" she growled, her mallet materializing in her fist. Looking down as her arm swung back, she faltered; if this wasn't Ranma, which seemed all too likely, could she really hit Ryoga? Quietly she put the mallet aside.

Ryoga's head jerked up with a deep blush, his nose beginning to trickle blood as he fumbled where to safely place his hands before just letting himself fall to the floor. Giving an apologetic chuckle, he spun to point at Ukyo, shouting, "What the hell are you doing? You pushed me!"

Ukyo flashed a thin smile and shrugged, averting her glare as she re-holstered her giant spatula.

"Mr. Saotome, Miss Tendo, the hall, please!" the teacher's voice rang out above the ruckus. With a heavy sigh, Akane rose and marched a familiar path through the door.

In the hall she looked around in confusion, noting the obvious lack of her accomplice. Then she heard someone whispering directions through the doorway and had to laugh. If this wasn't Ryoga, then Ranma had hit his head one too many times! Recalling the fight the day before, she balled a fist.

'_The Bakusai Tenketsu, of course! Now it makes sense!'_

Ryoga walked out then, bowing deeply toward the class. "Thank you for helping me get out of the room, sorry to bother you." With an awkward chuckle he took his place beside Akane.

"I'm especially sorry to you, Akane san. I didn't mean to get you into trouble like this."

She bit her lip, then smiled as she baited him. "Oh, no need to apologize! You know a well as I do that we're out here pretty often, and at least we don't have buckets this time. But this is nothing new for us, right?"

"Uh, r-right! Nothing new here!" he chuckled, scratching his head and once again catching a finger in his newly-present braid. Fumbling himself free, he left his hair mussed in the back. Watching him fuss while trying to smooth it back to normal, Akane let out a sigh.

"As long as you don't act like a pervert again, do you want me to help with that?" she asked, stepping behind him.

"If you want," he answered with an audible gulp. Turning to face the wall, he knelt in front of her, shakily presenting the back of his head. Feeling her hands tug out the tie, then run through his hair, Ryoga began to nervously fidget. Swirling a finger over the surface of the wall while daydreaming the two of them together, her pushed his finger against the cinderblock while thinking of her name. A moment later he let out a yelp, staring in horror at his now-dislocated finger.

"Stupid weak body!" he groaned, "Even like _this_ you manage to get me, Ra-"

He turned slowly toward Akane, who gave a curt nod, "Go on, Ranma, don't let me interrupt!"

"Uh…you weren't interrupting! I was just, ah, saying how _you, _Akane, manage to get me. As in you understand me, even when we're like this. In the hall. Like this."

"Oh, _Ranma_," she chuckled with a sinister grin, setting Ryoga up for a fall, "you're always so sweet when it's just the two of us, all alone. Remember that time we…well…I'm too embarrassed to say it out loud!"

Nearly spinning around, Ryoga felt his head jerk as Akane tugged him back in place by his hair. "Silly, you'll ruin it!"

"S-s-sorry, Akane san," he muttered, his mind working through the anger and shock she'd just dropped on it. _'Pull it together, Hibiki!' _he mentally coached himself. '_Remember, if he could, you CAN!' _He just needed to know WHAT it was that he could do.

Letting a moment pass, Ryoga gritted his teeth and snapped his knuckle back into place, then gathered his courage and opened his mouth.

"Akane, so, yeah! Let's talk about that time, maybe? More specifically, what we did?"

"Oh, you, I said I was too shy! Don't you remember what happened?"

"I do!"

"You do?"

"Obviously! But still, wouldn't you like to go a little more into detail?"

Akane grimaced, swallowing her unease as she concentrated on making the braid. _'I am NOT taking this so far as to make up some hentai story!' _

"Let's talk about _something else_," she said through a forced smile, tugging his hair as she finished tying the end.

Running his fingers over her work, he turned with a dreamy grin, "It feels great, thank you so much!"

"Well, it's just a braid," she said in a deflated tone.

"It's better than that, because you made it, Akane san. I would cherish anything if it came from you."

Akane pursed her lips, how had she missed their obvious personality change? "Just forget about it, already! SO, anyway, I was wondering if I could ask you something?" she said quickly, cutting him off from continuing their conversation. It seemed that testing Ryoga wasn't as simple as it was with Ranma; Ryoga had more of his own agenda to push.

He stared at her for a long moment with a goofy grin that made her slightly uncomfortable. "What did you want to ask, Akane? I'll answer anything."

She took a deep breath, trying to shake the chill that played at her spine. She could only imagine what he was thinking she had on her mind.

"Well, I was just wondering, with all your experience camping, what would you say would be the best way to keep warm? Especially at night."

"To keep warm…" he repeated slowly, "at night? It's important to have a warm sleeping bag, it would be best if there were something inside to help warm it, like a heat pack or..." His eyes suddenly locked on hers, quivering as he stammered, "A-are you asking me to g-go camping with y-y-you?"

"WHAT? NO! Do you have a screw loose in there?" she yelped, tapping him in the forehead. As he reached up to grab her hand, she stepped out of reach. "We're out here to be punished, remember?"

"Being alone with you couldn't be further from a punishment," he sighed, his eyes glazing over. Subconsciously she reached up, brushing her hand at the halo she was half sure he'd conjured above her head.

"Right, that," she muttered, giving an uncomfortable, shaky grin. "So, nothing special about that _camping_ thing we just discussed? I mean, just hypothetically speaking, what do you think Ryoga does?"

Ryoga folded his arms and turned away at the mention of his name.

"If he were smart, he'd just go south until the weather gets warmer. Maybe longer."

Akane began to chew her thumbnail, the thought of Ranma gone for several months weighing heavily on her heart. There had to be a better way, something more that she could do to help keep him around…for her revenge! Nothing more, she quickly reminded herself.

"You'd think he would have to go to his house for supplies, he can't carry everything around with him all the time!" she thought aloud, "Why not just stay there when it's cold? And what does he do about food?"

"It's a difficult way to live," he agreed solemnly.

"So why do it?" she asked, turning to meet his eyes. "I mean, when he can just go home and live normally anytime he wants, why keep wandering around?"

Ryoga froze for a moment, then cleared his throat, "That's simple, Akane san, it's part of his training. Just like, uh, like I did when I was younger. He's most likely just trying to get better than me."

"But Ranma doesn't win because he's stronger."

"I suppose…" Ryoga mumbled, leaning his back against the wall.

Both sat for a long, silent moment analyzing their shoes. Before there was a chance to continue, the bell rang and signaled the start of lunch.

"At least that's over with," Akane smiled, slipping back into the classroom.

Ryoga mulled over her words, more than one thing nagging him about what she had said. " '_Ranma doesn't win because he's stronger_,' " he repeated, then paused as his mind clicked. "But _I'm _Ranma…"

…

"Acting nice isn't working," Ryoga said in a hushed voice, leaning closer to Hiroshi. "What do I normally do to get Akane san's attention?"

Daisuke turned to exchange looks with his friend before both boys simultaneously began to laugh at Ryoga.

"What you normally _do?_" the first boy balked, "You normally irritate the living hell out of her!"

"Yeah," the second chimed in, "the only time I ever saw her show any interest in you was when she was trying to mallet you away from some other girl!"

"Other girls…of course!" Ryoga cheered, leaping to his feet. "You two can have the rest of my lunch as a sign of my thanks!"

With smiles frozen on their faces, the two boys watched him run off.

"Poor Akane san, what's he thinking _now_?" Daisuke groaned, shaking his head.

"Who cares? His lunch is up for grabs!"

…

Slipping past the school wall, Akane dashed around the corner and pressed her back to the wall. Peeking back the way she came, a sigh escaped her lips as she confirmed that she hadn't been followed.

"I'm just missing a few classes," she murmured, "that's not _really_ skipping."

Checking behind her one last time, she gripped her bag tighter and ran toward a certain empty lot.

…

"You'd think that idiot would have a freakin' sewing kit or something!" Ranma grumbled, rifling through Ryoga's pack. Looking up at the hole in the tent, a shiver ran through him at the thought of another cold night. Peeling back the wrapper of a protein bar, he sank his teeth into the very last of his food.

"First I can't go home, then the tent, now I got no food or money, probably gotta get a job or something…and Akane. Dammit! I haven't complained this much since I was a kid!"

Rolling onto his back, he let his arms fall out to his sides, "I'm thirsty."

Feeling something drop into his hand, he turned his head to see a can of juice. Blinking twice, his eyes focused past that to land on Akane.

"Wha…?"

"I brought you some stuff, I thought you might need more food at least," she rushed out, thrusting a bag at him.

"Akane?" he breathed, not believing his eyes. Sitting up he looked inside, his mouth dropping open as he saw several cups of ramen, tea, miso packs and a variety of breads.

"I just grabbed some things quick, let me know if you need something else, okay?" she said quietly.

"Oh man! I could almost _kiss_ you…uh, if that weren't so ridiculous ta do."

A familiar sting cutting through her, she sucked in a deep breath, "And why is _that_ so ridiculous? Not that I would kiss you, either."

"It's ridiculous," he said with a touch of annoyance, "because you're supposed ta be engaged, ta someone who _ain't_ me!"

She cocked an eyebrow, "That's a real issue for you suddenly, isn't it?"

"Ppfft, whatever! It's got nothing ta do with me." Tracing his finger along a floor-seam he quietly added, "Ranma's pretty lucky, though."

Mulling his words over with lightly flushed cheeks, Akane pulled a set of bentos from her school bag, "I have an extra, if you want. And don't worry, I didn't make them."

She placed one in his hands and sat beside him. "I also thought you might be lonely, so…here's me! Maybe we can eat together?"

Ranma stared at his lunch, his heart swelling too big for his chest. Deep inside he could feel a jittery sensation manifesting itself into a manic giggle as it rose in his throat. Pushing the rest of the protein bar into his mouth, he tried to swallow the feeling back down to a manageable level before he screamed.

"Akane, I…thanks. This is really great. Like, the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me."

"Oh, please," she smiled, nudging him with her elbow, "I've done more than this for you and you never gushed like this!"

"What are ya talkin about?" he asked, half his lunch already filling his mouth, "I _always_ gush, I'm like a leaky faucet of raw emotions." He turned with a wicked grin, "Especially about _you_, Akane san."

"Ha ha," she deadpanned back, "I've risked my life to help you, this is only lunch! The biggest risk I'm taking right now is skipping class, it's hardly worth mentioning!"

He shoveled another chopstick full into his mouth before wrinkling his brow, "You haven't risked your life for _me_, Ryoga, Akane san. Must be thinkin' of someone else, someone way more awesome than me if you'd go that far for them. Probably some good-looking stud ya got a crush on."

She smirked as she watched him eat like a starving animal, the same as he always did. And the opposite of who he currently appeared to be. As he shoveled the last grains of rice over the edge of his bento and between his lips, she offered the remainder of hers, "Still hungry?"

He paused, clamped his chopsticks in his teeth and bowed.

"Thank you, Akane san! Glad ta see you're taking that thick waist thing of yours seriously."

She planted a hand on her hip and pulled her offering back, "What's that now?"

"Kidding, kidding! You're perfect just the way you are!"

He grinned a broad, familiar grin that caused both fangs to awkwardly poke out. It might have worked if it weren't on the wrong face. Rolling her eyes she gave him her lunch.

"Why don't you tell me a little more about myself, _Ryoga_. You said such nice things this morning, I'm curious as to what you'll have to say right now."

"I do like ta compliment you an awful lot, don't I? In fact it's almost too much, don't wanna give you a big head or nothing," Ranma smirked, wiping the back of his hand over his chin before stacking his lunch containers.

She cocked an eyebrow to show that she wasn't backing down.

"So you wanna hear what I've got to say?" He threw a hand over his heart and took a dramatic pose, "I would tell you, Akane, but there ain't enough hours in the day ta add up all your great qualities!"

He leaned back and closed his eyes, confident he'd just uttered the most pacifying comment known to man.

"Like what?"

His eyes opened.

"What qualities?" she continued, "I'm _so_ curious to know. You see, Ranma isn't mature enough to compliment me like you do. I'd love to hear what you, a real man, has stirring in that bandanna'd head of yours- Oh wait…"

Making an obvious show of looking, she brushed her fingers through his hair, "forgot to put your trusty bandanna on again, hmm?"

He reached up and took hold of her hand, pulling it away from his head. Once it was clear, he suddenly realized he had no idea what to do next. Looking down at their linked fingers he hesitated letting go, not wanting to loose the sensation of her soft warmth against his skin.

"My bandanna," he said quietly, pulling the collar of his jacket down with his free hand, "I needed somethin' to keep the back of my neck warm, my hair's too short."

Looking at Ryoga/Ranma wearing, for all intents and purposes, a leopard print ascot around his neck, Akane burst into hysterics.

"You look like a flamboyant Freddy from Scooby Doo!" she wheezed, shattering any tension that may have been building between them.

Feeling her grip tighten while she laughed, he held her back harder.

"Hey, it may look stupid," he grinned, "but I can pull it off. I can, right?"

She calmed down and pursed her lips, wiping a tear away with the side of her finger. "I don't know, it doesn't match your personality, somehow. Say, can you keep a secret?"

He nodded.

Leaning forward, she pressed their linked hands against his leg and whispered, "I like my fiancé's the best."

Settling back again she slowly untangled her hand from his and began to repack their lunch containers. He watched her with an unfamiliar sense of longing, his fingers twitching involuntarily at the loss of hers. Without realizing it, his mouth began to move.

"Ranma's personality, you _like it? _Wh-what d'ya like about it, and for how long?" Realizing that he'd spoken, he quickly added, "Not that I care."

Akane fastened her bag and turned her face back up to his, a quirky grin playing across her lips, "WHY would you want to know that?"

"I, I don't, really! It just felt like the right thing ta say, to keep the conversation going! I was only bein' nice asking." Nervously he reached for his braid, having to settle for toying with the knot on his 'ascot' instead.

"I should get back before Miss Hinako realizes I'm gone, which was probably five minutes ago," she giggled.

As she ducked to go through the doorway, Ranma blurted out, "Thanks…for comin' out here and all, and the food an stuff. It was really nice of you to do this for me."

Stepping outside, Akane kept her head low and turned back to lock eyes with him. "Sure, any time. It's what I'd do for any…friend. And Ryoga, just because I'm curious about what you have planned, you win me for tonight. I'll bring the blankets."

Watching her go, he thanked the gods that he was sitting as her smile turned his legs to rubber.

…

"Wait for me here," Ryoga muttered to a cabdriver, stepping out of the car and up the path to the Kuno compound. He'd decided to splurge on a taxi for two reasons: 1) He was on the time constraint of his lunch period, and 2)It was Ranma's money. Ringing the ancient bell at the front gate, he was slightly less enthusiastic of his plan when Tatiwaki Kuno himself answered the call.

"You wish for me to give this letter of unknown content to my sister?" Kuno questioned, causing Ryoga to grit his teeth. Why couldn't the fool just talk on the simpler side of prose?

"Yes," he answered slowly, "I would like it if she could see this tonight, it's very important."

The older boy looked down his nose at the letter, then at him. "And what, pray-tell, would possibly be my motivation to help you? I see no reason why you, a commoner, should have the privilege of speaking to a member of the Kuno household."

With a heavy heart Ryoga reached into his bag, chanting in his head, _'It's for the greater good!'_

"Will this be enough 'motivation'?" he nearly whimpered, lifting out one of his photos of Akane in a swimsuit.

"Where-where did you…?" Kuno gasped, grabbing at the small rectangle. "For my sister, you would sell thine own fiancé not once but twice?"

As he pulled on the photograph, Ryoga resisted letting go for the first few moments. Swallowing hard, he released his grip, watching with some satisfaction as Kuno stumbled backward.

"You can have it, if you'll give your sister that message."

"Anything!" Kuno declared, "Say it and it shall be done!"

"Well, I did. So…do it," Ryoga replied awkwardly, "And I'm not selling Akane san, this is to win her heart. Sometimes a man needs to step off of the path of righteousness in order to become righteous."

Kuno paused from his ogling to look at Ryoga approvingly, "Well said, Saotome."

"Thank you," the younger boy nodded. "Now, if you don't mind, I have to be off to the Cat Café."

…

Arriving at the school gates just before the bell, Ryoga threw several bills at the cab driver then darted out of the car. Rushing to the restroom, he looked at himself in the mirror with frantic approval. Shampoo, happy to see him midday and even more delighted to receive an invitation to dinner at the Tendo's, had left her appreciation in the form of several kiss marks smeared across his face and shirt. If this wasn't enough to get Akane started, what would?

Strolling into the classroom (on his third attempt), he spotted her friends clustered together, sans Akane. Pausing, he blinked twice before his brain could process what he was _not_ seeing.

"Uh, excuse me," he said hesitantly, tapping Yuka on the shoulder, "Where's Akane san?"

She turned, then the rest of the group of girls trained their eyes on him, each stare adding to the weight of their disapproval. Reaching forward, Yuka tugged at the collar of his shirt.

"I don't know about you, girls, but I don't quite think this is his color."

Holding his hands up in a defensive gesture, Ryoga took a step back.

"I know what it looks like, but I needed to do this for Akane! Where is she?"

The circle of girls collectively folded their arms. Before the conversation had the chance to go further downhill, class was called to begin. Letting out a defeated sigh, Ryoga took his seat beside a noticeably empty one.

One full period later, Akane slipped through the door with an embarrassed smile. As she sat, Ryoga tried to catch her attention and direct it to the indiscretions he'd worked so hard to get. Akane, for her part, was so preoccupied that she hardly noticed anything outside of her own thoughts.

As school came to a close, she lifted her bag and was ready to rush off when her friends circled around her.

"What are you going to _do_ with him?" Yuka spat in distaste, several others voicing their concurrence.

Akane looked at them with a blank stare, "With who?"

"You didn't notice Ranma?" another girl almost choked in disbelief. "He's covered in kiss marks!"

"And he wanted you to _see_, the creep! He kept asking where you were…where _did_ you go?"

"Are you just going to let him treat you like this?"

Akane blinked, blinked again, then shrugged, "Wonder who did it."

Leaving her friends gaping in disbelief and unanswered questions, she trotted through them and out of the room.

Humming as she made her way to the front gate, she was only half surprised to see Ryoga as he waited impatiently for her. Letting out a sigh she decided to meet this challenge head-on rather than sneaking past, even though she was certain he would cut down the high she was currently riding.

"Yes, Ranma? I heard you were looking for me?"

"A-Akane…" Ryoga stuttered in surprise. Thinking she would be avoiding him as usual, he'd been busy scanning the perimeter of the crowd. Her simply walking up to him was the last think he thought would happen.

"So what did you want?" she continued, being sure not to let her eyes wander to any lip prints that still clung to his face. _Ranma's_ face. She had to swallow back a flash of rage at what Ryoga must have done with her fiancé's body to get them.

"What I, uh, _want_…" He loomed over her as he spoke, giving her a better view of his face and neck while leaving a long pause for her to inspect him.

Giving a curt smile, she stepped back, "Yes, what you want."

He stared down at her, her eyes never straying from his own. Clenching a fist, he spun away; if she wouldn't rise to the fight, he'd just bring the fight to her!

"I went to see Shampoo!" he blurted out. "That's where all of this lipstick came from. I, uh, just thought you should know…that that's what I, Ranma, did today at lunch."

"You know, I was wondering who did that," she said all-too casually. "Well come on, let's get home. I want to get my homework done as soon as possible."

"Me too," he grinned, turning back around. "So this," he motioned over himself with his hand, "this doesn't bother you?"

"Well, normally it would, but it was from Shampoo," she shrugged and started walking home, "she's always been on you like white on rice. I guess you just let your guard down this ONE time. I'd like it if it were the last time, though."

Ryoga wiped a tear from his eye.

"Akane san, you are truly too kind! How can I be so lucky as to have stumbled across someone who is so full of compassion and understanding?"

Turning slightly, she gave a curt nod. "Well, when we get home you can thank your dad since it was our fathers who forced us into this stupid arranged marriage."

He furrowed his brow as he contemplated how Ranma would handle the growing hostility in her voice, clearly his compliments weren't working.

"About that, Akane san, it's not as if I asked to marry an (*cough*) uncute girl like you! Although I'd be a damned fool not to try," he finished under his breath.

"Whatever," she tossed back with a casual chill, hiding her temper as it stirred under the surface.

Ryoga cracked a nervous grin, "Uh, so I was wondering if you'd help me study tonight?"

"I've got plans."

He stared at her for a long moment, his heart breaking while he watched his plan go up in smoke. "You do? Doing what?"

Opening her mouth to answer, she quickly shut it. How could she tell him that she intended to sneak out and see Ranma?

"I, I have to study."

"Great, so let's do it to-"

"Alone! I can't concentrate with you in the room, uh, Ranma."

He lifted a hand tentatively toward her, "Because you like me so much?"

"I…sure I like you! I mean, I agreed to marry you, sort of on my own, didn't I?"

He laid an arm across her shoulders, blushing and grinning like crazy as he did so.

Suppressing the urge to shrug him off, shudder, and high-kick him to the next town, Akane forced a smile. "I need to catch up on…math…tonight. Would you mind leaving me alone so I can concentrate, without all of your _manliness_ getting in the way? It would really help me out."

"You'll still be in the house?"

"Yeeeeeeessssss…?" she said warily, taking the opportunity to duck-out from under his arm.

"As long as you're there."

The moment Akane cleared the doorway she sprinted clear of Ryoga and made her way to the kitchen.

"Kasumi!" she hissed, hoping to speak to her sister alone, "I need you to do me a favor!"

"What is it, Akane?" she asked, leaning closer.

"I have to go out tonight, but I need you to tell everyone I'm in my room…please?"

Kasumi began to look uncomfortable, "_Why_ am I doing this?"

Opening her mouth to answer, Akane quickly shut it as Ryoga walked into the room. "Hello Kasumi san, can I speak with you a moment? I have a favor to ask."

"Oh, there seems to be a lot of that going around today," she said with a hand to her chest. "And how may I help _you, _Ranma kun?"

Taking her exit, Akane mouthed 'Thank You!' and slipped from the room. Not missing a beat, she dashed up to Nabiki's room. Hearing her door swoosh open and closed, Nabiki looked lazily over the book she was studying at her sister, "So, how did things go?"

Akane smiled evilly, "Just what we thought, those jerks! I _know_ they switched, I just don't understand why Ranma would try and keep it a secret from me."

Nabiki smirked, "Most likely he wanted to keep himself on _this_ side of the afterlife."

"Wha-what's that supposed to mean?" Akane shot back, "He should trust me more, that's _his_ problem!"

"Well it's yours now," Nabiki cut in, "but we aren't here to argue the obvious issues you two share. We're here to discuss a plan."

Laying her book down on her desk, the middle Tendo slid one of her desk drawers open and removed a small, black notebook. Flipping through, she stopped on a page near the midway point and handed it to her sister.

"These are a few options and some possible outcomes I've devised, please feel free to add your input _if_ you think there's any room for improvement…which is less than likely. I'll be willing to negotiate anything you feel is necessary, for a slight adjustment to our previously discussed price, of course."

Akane stared at the neatly outlined pages, skimming over several lines before her eyes went wide.

"But, Neechan, this is…"

"You have to be willing to go all the way if you want to work with the best," Nabiki said evenly, laying a hand on her sister's shoulder. "Do you still want my help or don't you?"

Mulling over her fate, Akane swallowed her indecision and looked up with renewed fire in her eyes.

"Hai! I'll do it!"

Nabiki cracked a grin, "Good to have you aboard, partner."

…

As the evening progressed, Akane waited for 'Ranma' to head to the bath before slipping out of her room and down to the kitchen. Grabbing a few things for her and the _real_ Ranma to eat for dinner, she stuffed the food into a duffel bag already bursting with blankets and said a quick good-bye to her sisters, then made a break for the door.

"I hope she knows what she's doing," Kasumi sighed, busily preparing dinner for a small crowd.

"Better than that, _I_ know what she's doing," Nabiki smirked, "which is always the best option."

With a long blink, Kasumi turned to her, "And what is it that you have her doing now?"

Nabiki held her hands up in defense and almost laughed at her kind older sister holding a knife and an accusation. "Nothing bad! Akane's mostly on her own, I'm just tugging the strings a bit."

The eldest Tendo thought for a moment, then resumed cutting. "I take it this has something to do with Ranma kun's unusual behavior?"

"It does."

"I also expect you will be filling me in on the details?"

Nabiki couldn't stop the smirk that spread from ear-to-ear as she nodded her consent. Kasumi acting devious, now this was a rare treat!

…

Ryoga stepped out of Ranma's room washed, primped and preened; tonight was a big night! A turning point! A victory! Tonight he would make Akane jealous, and through that jealousy he would win her heart!

He just needed her to know about it…so he invited it over for dinner!

Hearing a small scuffle at the front door, he looked approvingly at the clock. Everyone was right on time.

"This is for us," he whispered as he glanced down the hall at Akane's door. Taking a deep breath, he plastered a smile on his face and went to greet Shampoo, Kodachi, and Ukyo.

"Ladies, ladies! There's more than enough of me to go around!"

"Ranma sama!"

"Ranchan!"

"Airen!"

Suddenly feeling a wave of unease as they closed around him, Ryoga took in the situation he'd created and stepped back. The look in the three pairs of eyes was..._hungrier_ than he'd anticipated. Pointing behind himself, he motioned for them to come in.

"Uh, let me show you to the party," he said with a quiver, stepping aside to allow the girls to pass.

"Airen too too generous," Shampoo purred, running a finger over his chest as she walked by. Leaning close to his ear, she added, "Maybe later we spend time just us?"

"Sounds, um, great?" he squeaked, pressing his borrowed back to the wall. Shampoo paused at his unexpected answer, then arched an eyebrow as each move her body made became even more sultry.

Getting a rearview of the trio didn't help his hormones, he realized, wiping the sweat from his brow several times before the three girls were seated.

'_How the hell does Ranma deal with this?' _Ryoga screamed in his head, trying desperately not to notice that _someone_ was rubbing his leg under the table. Looking around, he was unable to pin the culprit as all eyes were staring back with their own brand of fire.

"Hey, Shug, I know you invited me to dinner and all, but I just couldn't show up empty handed." Reaching down beside her, Ukyo lifted an Okinomiyaki, "That would be _rude_."

Ryoga stared at his part-time friend/accomplice, completely unnerved by the way she was staring back. Their newfound familiarity was something he was having a difficult time coping with, and his education at an all-boys school wasn't exactly paying off at the moment. Glancing down at the okinomiyaki, he frowned; of course it would have every topping known to man! It was intended for Ranma.

Without realizing it, he wrinkled up his nose. Catching his reaction, Kodachi wasted little time procuring her own elaborate meal from its hiding place…somewhere on her body.

"You shame Ranma sama with this peasant's food! Please, feel free to enjoy what I have brought for you, my dear. It was made by one of the finest chef's of French cuisine that Japan has to offer!"

Leaning across the table with a fork in hand, she pressed her elbows closer together to enhance her cleavage, "I can feed it to you, if you wish it."

Ryoga's mouth, having long ago (and for other reasons) dropped open, was suddenly filled with food. Smiling in triumph, The Black Rose settled back to her seat.

"He has chosen the princess over the paupers! Ladies, I suggest you see yourselves out before you cause us all to be embarrassed."

As the other girls began to rise, Nabiki slipped into the room, tossed a napkin into Ryoga's hands and smacked him on the back of his head. Staring in shock at the food that had just been knocked into his hands, he looked up at his false sister-in-law-to-be.

"Wh-why…?"

"Because, Ranma baby," Nabiki began, sliding her eyes in Kodachi's direction, "she has a dirty little habit of adding a few ingredients that are, how should I put it? Undesirable? Unexpected? Oh, that's it, _illegal_. And usually immobilizing. Funny thing is, you knew that already, because it was you and Akane that told _me_. Strange how you forgot something like that, now isn't it…Ranma?"

Feeling the pressure build, Ryoga tried to play it off using a pair of borrowed blue eyes and a winning smile, which had less than no effect on Nabiki. As he looked desperately around, he croaked out, "I was just attempting to show my gratitude, to my guests, by eating a bit of what they each brought?"

"Yes, all three of _your_ guests…" she slow blinked, "interesting."

Not missing her chance, Ukyo rose to her knees with a spatula in hand. "If you want a taste, then have some of mine, Sugar!"

"Shampoo bring more delicious food for you, too!"

Keeping him in the grip of her cold stare, Nabiki allowed Ryoga to squirm before nodding for Kasumi to bring the meal that was actually intended for the occasion. As the elder Tendo entered the room, she sucked in a surprised gasp.

"Oh my, look at all this food! And here I was worried that I wouldn't have enough!"

"And now we have too much," Nabiki shrugged. The sisters exchanged glances before they continued the charade.

"Maybe I should call Father and Mr. Saotome in too."

"Great idea, Sis," Nabiki crooned, "but why stop there? What's Ranma's _Mother_ doing? I bet she'd love to see what her son's up to…right after declaring his intent to marry Akane."

"You say you marry-" Shampoo paused to consider her present company before choosing a name for her rival. "You want marry _Akane _now?"

"_Akane?_" Kodachi spat as if the word tasted sour. Composing herself, she folded her hands delicately in her lap and continued. "Perhaps we are deciding things a bit prematurely. Why not have Ranma sama's Mother choose who is the better bride?"

"A contest? Shampoo no can lose!"

Ukyo leaned back, watching the two girls bicker and finding herself in an emotional dilemma. Looking at 'Ranma', she was less attracted to him and more…annoyed? Disappointed? She wasn't quite sure, but he was definitely missing that certain spark that had drawn her to him. She was almost glad to hear he had picked Akane, they made sense together. However, if there was a battle, she felt compelled to win it. Especially a long standing dispute against two of the most irritating people she'd ever been insulted by!

Pursing her lips, she blew out a resigned sigh, "What're we going to have to do, exactly?"

Looking at the Tendo sisters' eyes, Ryoga felt the hair on the back of his neck prickle. '_It's for you, Akane!'_ he declared in his head, albeit with a bit less conviction than usual.

…

Taking in a deep breath, holding it, then blowing it out slowly, Akane calmed her breathing back to normal. Pressing her back against a wall, she gripped her bag tighter as her heart raced.

"Why am I nervous, it's just Ranma?" she whispered, shaking her head to clear it. Squeezing her eyes closed, a million different scenarios of the evening played out in her mind, making her squeak as her eyelids flew open again. "It's, it's just… Ranma," she repeated.

Without realizing it her feet had begun to move, and before long she could see the lot he was camping in. It was less than a block away, yet with each step the distance grew further until she inexplicably found herself standing before his campfire. Staring through the flames at the familiar way he held himself, a weight lifted from her chest; she'd missed him.

"Knock, knock," she smiled.

As his eyes rose to meet hers, the shadows and firelight played over his features and, for a moment, she swore she saw Ranma's face staring back.

"You came," he said quietly.

**…..**

_A/N: Yes, it took a long time for me to get this chapter out (sorry), but it's longer than normal, so YAY! My Brother got married and I had to go across the country to attend, then it somehow turned into a 9-day family vacation! After recuperating from spending over a week with most of my family, I finally finished this little baby!_

_Thanks to all who reviewed, favorited, and just read! But especially those who __**reviewed**__! ;) _

**_NEXT TIME: The Cold Truth; Your Face is Only Skin Deep_**


	6. The Cold Truth: Your Face is only Skin D

**Opposite Attraction**

**Disclaimer: "From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere." -Dr. Seuss**

**I use this to illustrate that, although humor is involved, there's no funny business going on here, it's already EVERYWHERE! (So don't sue!)**

**Chapter 6: The Cold Truth; Your Face is Only Skin Deep**

* * *

><p>"Yeah," Akane said in a near whisper, "I came."<p>

Ranma stared at his lost fiancé for a long moment before registering the duffel bag she was clutching tightly to her chest. Rising from his seat he moved beside her, grasping the handles of the bag from her cold fingers.

"Hey, uh, lemme get that for you. Can't leave a guest just holdin' stuff, now can I?" Hefting it in his hands, he marveled at its weight. "What's in this thing? Ranma's not gonna jump out, is he?" he joked, his eyes lit with mischief and firelight.

"If he does, I think we'll _both_ be surprised!" Akane half kidded back. A gentle breeze ruffled her bangs, carrying his scent as it passed over them. It was Ranma's.

"You smell nice," she smiled softly before realizing that she'd said it aloud. Shaking her head, she quickly tried to brush off her words, "Like soap. You smell like soap…it's the kind I like."

"Yeah? I went to the public baths not too long ago, it's the only time I've been warm in the past couple of days! Felt really great too, I had ta be ready for our big night together." His eyes suddenly darted to hers, "Not that we're spending the night together, like _that_, y'know? I mean, it's just a date! Not really a date…right?"

They searched one another for a long moment, then Akane pointed at the bag. "I brought dinner…" She reached over and tugged the zipper open, "And blankets! I took a couple, so you should be warm enough. I hope so, at least."

He smiled, his grip tightening on the handles of the bag. "Thanks again, Akane. I, uh, I guess I'd be _lost_ without ya, eh?"

Holding his gaze for a moment, she broke into giggles. "_Lost?_ Of course you would be, Ra-" She let out a small cough, "Ha, uh, _Ryoga_. 'Lost', that was good. So anyway, what did you have planned for us this fine evening? You didn't expect me to bring the food AND entertainment, now did you?"

"Why Akane san, I'm a freakin' gentleman!" he said with a low bow. "When I invite a lady over ta my hovel, the least I can do is give'er a good time."

She cocked an eyebrow, "I see. So you do this often?"

He reached over with his finger and pushed her eyebrow back down, "You're my first."

"Well, okay then. Not that I _care_, you know."

"Never expected ya to."

"Good."

"Great."

She blinked, then broke into a goofy grin, "_Grood_." Dropping her eyes, she picked at her thumbnail, "Because it was both 'great' and 'good'."

She heard him begin to laugh, then his hand fell over hers.

"What the- you're freezin' ta death!" he said with a start. Taking one of the blankets, he wrapped it around her shoulders, "Can't send ya home sick, they'd kill me!"

"Not if they don't know I'm _with_ you."

"Wha…and just _where_ are you supposed ta be, then?" he asked curiously, beginning to marvel at all the hidden layers of Akane.

"I'm, uh, studying in my room. All night." She lifted her eyes back to his, "Seems I have a problem with math."

"That what you told Ranma?"

"Mmmh hmmm," she smiled weakly. Leaning closer he readjusted the blanket, pulling it tighter under her chin. "You're good at math, you'd think he knew you better than that."

"I never knew _you_ paid so much attention," she smiled, nudging him with her elbow.

"You've always got my attention, Akane san. Always have."

"I…" she started before running out of words to say. After a silence that stretched into the realm of awkward had passed, Ranma cleared his throat and dropped to a crouch as he began to rifle through the contents of the duffel bag.

"So let's see what ya got in here…oooh, a _hot_ dinner!" he cheered, holding several containers over his head. "We should eat this before it gets cold, don't ya think?"

Taking a moment for her brain to switch gears, Akane quietly sat beside him and took a pair of chopsticks, "Of course."

Then she looked at him with a crooked grin and set them back down. "It's not that big of a deal for me though, since I get to eat hot meals all the time."

He paused with his mouth open, food perched at his lips. He wasn't completely positive that he was reading her right, but his Akane senses were tingling. Something was afoot! Letting out a quiet sigh he let his hand fall.

"What are you trying to say, Akane?"

"Why don't we have a little talk, about the evening."

"What about it?" he asked with a strained smile, his eyes darting longingly to his food. She smirked as she watched him squirm.

"Oh, well a girl can't be too sure when she's all alone with a man, especially at night. I mean, I _know_ you, Ryoga, but how well do I really?" She planted her chin in her palm, "What do you have planned?"

Relifting his chopsticks, he leaned close as he whispered, "It's a surprise, baka." Without wasting another moment he began to eat.

She felt her cheeks grow hot as his breath touched her skin. Dropping her head to hide how he'd affected her, she mumbled, "You're full of them lately."

…

The Tendo home was, from the outside, a veritable Christmas card of warmth and good cheer. Voices floated amidst the smells of a delectable meal that was meticulously prepared down to the last grain of rice, while the windows simply radiated a soft glow that only a gathering of good friends and family can create.

Unless, by chance, you have a group of quietly smoldering battle auras around a table of conflicting feasts as several girls go head-to-head against a foe as intangible as the human heart. That can give off a warmth from the outside, too. But the latter just seemed so much more undesirable, so the good citizens of Nerima decided to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear once the fighting began. Ryoga, however, wasn't as fortunate as the common man.

"Airen walk Shampoo home now, make up for bad treatment from other night," the Amazon purred, wrapping her slender arms around Ryoga's bicep as the night drew to a close.

"Ah, uh, I guess I-"

"What!" Ukyo quickly opposed, slamming an open palm on the table. "Ranchan, do you need your head checked, or just whacked a little? What are you doing letting that international super slut hang all over you like that?!"

Shampoo drew back to throw a punch, but she was suddenly pinned to the wall by her shirt-cuff courtesy of a kunai. Looking to a shadow on the ceiling, Ukyo mouthed a silent 'thanks' to her trusty kunoichi/bodyguard/free laborer.

"I can't say I agree with such a lowbrow delivery, but this 'chef' has a point," Kodachi snuffed with an air of arrogance. "If you walk _one of us_ home, Ranma sama, you must walk us all home, to ensure our safety. My home is the furthest, of course, so you may see me off last."

"Whatev-" Ryoga began with a frown, a large spatula abruptly coming to a halt between him and the younger Kuno.

"Then _I'll_ be the one to walk Ranchan home after he's done with you," Ukyo glared, "to make sure he isn't alone if something _funny_ happens!"

Watching the three girls fight and the two fathers eat with wild abandon, Nabiki let out a bored sigh. No matter how the players had changed, the game was still the same. Blinking slowly, a scheme formed in her head like déjà vu. It wasn't brilliant and it wasn't new. It was, however, guaranteed to fill her bank account.

"Ladies, I think I have a simple solution to your little problem." She waved a hand in Ryoga's direction, "If there's not enough of him to go around, rent him! Each of you get's an allotted time _alone_ with dear Ranma here. The more you pay, the more you get!" Whipping a gavel out of nowhere, she grinned devilishly, the smell of money already in her nostrils. "Shall we start the bidding at 10,000 yen?"

A moment later Ryoga discovered, first-hand, a new definition of the phrase 'three-way'.

…

"Close your eyes."

Akane stared hard at the boy in front of her, silhouetted from behind by the clear night sky. "Why? What are you trying to do?"

"If you'll remember, I'm _trying_ to surprise you, but you gotta trust me for a change."

She stared harder.

Holding out his hand, he let a signature smile curl his lips. "Damn, Akane, _trust me_. Just this once at least, can ya not try so hard ta think yourself into a bad situation?"

Akane frowned, then squeezed her eyes closed against their will. Victorious, Ranma took her hands in his and pulled her along close behind. After a few minutes had passed, he leaned beside her and whispered, "Now you can open them."

As her lashes fluttered apart, Akane found herself in a section of a nearby park that she had never known existed. They stood in the center of a small clearing at the top of a hill, surrounded on all sides by a wall of trees that shut out the rest of the world. Their position at the crest of the hill allowed the stars to spill out before them as if making a path that only they could travel.

"Oh…it's beautiful!" she breathed, her fingers tightening around his.

"Yeah," he agreed, his eyes not on the stars. Before Akane could react, he began laying out two blankets side-by-side.

'_What the hell's wrong with my mouth, lately?'_ he yelled in his head, trying hard to keep his focus away from the girl who, surprisingly, had begun spinning slowly beside him. Giving a small giggle, she fell onto the closest blanket with her arms spread wide.

"I used to do that when I was little," she grinned. "My Mom would take us out to look at the stars all the time, and I would look up and twirl around and around until I got too dizzy to stand. She'd yell at me to stop, that I was going to hurt myself or fall into the koi pond, but she'd always be there to catch me before I could."

They stayed quiet for a long moment, then Ranma lay beside her and held up a hand against the sky. "When I was a kid I'd always be somewhere new, and I'd think about what home would be like and all the people and stuff that I'd met and seen. It all felt real far away from where I was, and sometimes it'd make me feel so lonely, but then I'd hold my hand up like this and I'd see how far away _everything_ was from the stars. It kinda made me feel better, like we were all a little closer."

Akane turned to him, watching his breath transform to mist as his chest rose and fell.

"Is it, is it lonely not settling down?"

He gave a quick smile, "Yeah, sometimes. It can be fun, don't get me wrong, but sometimes ya meet the right people and it makes it hard to go anywhere else but where they are."

"Hmmm, I think I know what you mean," she hummed softly. Raising her hand beside his, she opened her fingers wide.

"Feels like I'm closer already."

Beside her she heard his breath stutter in his throat. Suddenly she saw a streak of light through her fingers, her hand reflexively closing on the receding tail.

"A shooting star!" she gasped, sitting up and clasping her hands beneath her chin. "I need to make a wish!"

"Hope ya got a lot of 'em," he said with a smug grin.

Squeezing her eyes shut as she considered her wish, she creased her brow, "A lot…why?"

"It's a meteor shower tonight." He watched as she cracked an eye to look at him, "Told ya I had a surprise. Sorry it couldn't be something more, but my cash is a little on the low side right now."

"I never asked you to spend money on me," she muttered while she finished sending her dreams to the stars.

"Yeah, but I wanted tonight ta be something that you'd always remember."

Pulling up her knees, she wrapped her arms around them, "_How_ am I supposed to just forget about this?" As if to accentuate the point, three more meteors streaked across the sky in succession. "Oooh! SEE?! Even the heavens agree with me!"

He let out a chuckle as he unsuccessfully tried to cover a chill that shook his body. Pulling the blanket she was wearing off her shoulders, Akane moved beside him and wrapped them both inside.

"Wha-what are you…?"

"Just deal with it," she said with mock irritation.

Feeling his cheeks flush, Ranma readjusted the blanket around them, being sure not to pull any away from Akane. Holding the cover tight beneath his chin, he leaned back on his other arm and tried to act relaxed. At the same moment that his brain realized his hand had brushed hers, she closed her fingers around his.

His head snapping around, he stared at her with his jaw agape. Letting a moment pass, Akane tucked her nose into the blanket to hide her smile. Her voice soft, she murmured, "Deal with it."

…

Scowling deeply, Ryoga glared at the entrance to the Cat Café.

"You come inside now," the voice beside him chattered on, "I pay for twenty minutes more than this."

Closing his eyes he released a long breath, weighing the consequences of simply leaving and going back to the Dojo, to Akane…and Kodachi and Ukyo and Nabiki.

His dreams shattered, he pushed open the door.

"Son in Law!" crowed Cologne. "What good fortune brings you to pay us this visit?"

Swinging his gaze in a large arc, Ryoga rested his eyes on the familiar sight of his semi-sensei. Habitually he cracked his knuckles, the sound of her voice bringing up memories of boulders and heartache.

"Shampoo paid, and I wouldn't necessarily call Nabiki san _good fortune_."

Squinting her eyes, the Amazon Matriarch mulled over his words, the tension being broken by Shampoo glomping back onto his side.

"Who care about reason why?" she said happily, unwinding a scarf from her neck. "What matters is Airen here, that all!"

"That all," he shrugged in agreement.

"I go get some tea," Shampoo smiled, bounding past Mousse as he folded his arms disapprovingly across his chest.

"Saotome, it is awfully late to be making courtesy calls," the nearsighted boy said quietly.

"If you really care to know, I am being forced on a date. And I can assure you, I'm being anything but courteous," Ryoga said with a dismal air. His battle aura beginning to glow around him, Mousse stared daggers in his general direction.

"How _dare_ you insult Shampoo! And to be on a date with her and speak like this, it is -"

"It's too late to be cleaning up a mess," Cologne warned, holding up a withered hand. "Unless you care to dedicate your night to it, I suggest you quit this battle before it's begun."

Leaning his back against the wall in a simmering fury, Mousse pushed his glasses into place with his middle finger.

"That's better," the old woman smiled.

"Here, Airen, I have special noodles I make for you!" Shampoo announced while bouncing back into the room. "They have mushroom in them that give you super strength!"

'_Super strength,'_ Ryoga grinned. _'Too bad you'll be missing __**this**__ meal, Ranma!'_

In awe, Cologne, Mousse and Shampoo watched 'Ranma' excitedly sit down and eat the entire bowl of (obviously drugged) noodles, even using proper etiquette while he did it.

Wiping his mouth on a napkin, Ryoga stood, thanked them for the meal, then promptly hit the floor unconscious.

…

Staring quietly at the stars, Ranma could feel his hand begin to lose feeling. He had had his full weight against it when Akane placed hers over top, and he would be dammed if he'd lose that contact with her over something as trivial as little blood loss! His hand begged to differ, however, and flexing his muscles to drive blood down his arm had only resulted in giving him the sensation of pins and needles racing through his fingers. Attempting to be subtle, he tried to shift his weight to the other side, knocking heads with Akane as she reeled back to point at a shooting star.

"Oh shi- I'm sorry! Are you all right?" he rushed out, turning to face her.

"I'm fine, are you? You got hit pretty good, too." Giggling, she rubbed her temple, "You have a hard head, you know that?"

"It's part of my awesome arsenal of skill and charm," he grinned, brushing her hair away from her forehead. "You're getting a bump, I'm such an idiot."

"It's okay, really!" she insisted, waving his hand away.

"I still feel bad," he muttered.

Shaking her head and grinning mischievously, she poked him in the shoulder, "If you feel so bad, why don't you give it a kiss?"

Swallowing with an audible 'gulp,' his features suddenly grew serious, "D-do ya want me to?"

Akane's smile froze on her lips. Pausing for a moment, she replayed her words while trying to figure out if she'd said them as a joke, a dare, or an invitation. Without admitting her conclusion she began leaning toward him, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders as the two came together. Brushing the hair from her forehead he placed a soft kiss on the bruise, his fingertips trailing down along her jaw line as the moment stretched longer than just a friendly gesture.

Feeling his breath in her hair as he rose, she closed her eyes against the rush of emotions that ran through her veins like fire. His thumb sliding beneath her chin, he urged her to lift her face to his with a gentle pull. A heartbeat later and she could feel his heat wash over her lips, his mouth only a hairs-width from her own.

But it wasn't _his _mouth.

"Feels better already," she whispered, lifting a hand to her temple and blocking his advance in a single movement.

"Huh?" he breathed, his eyes fluttering open in confusion. As they fell on the sight of Akane holding her head, he reunited with reality. Gently pulling his hands back, he balled them into fists against his thighs.

"Glad I could help."

Akane tugged the blanket back into place, temporarily uncaring that she'd mostly taken it from her freezing fiancé.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" she questioned with a small quiver, drawing her legs up to make a barrier between them.

Ranma paused, realizing that he'd been playing his Lost Boy role less and less as he got comfortable with Akane. _TOO _comfortable with Akane. Far more comfortable than Ryoga should ever have been! Taking a deep breath, he tried to pull the veil of Ryoga's face back into place.

"What do you mean, ain't I always nice, Akane san? I like spending time with you, why would I treat you bad and ruin that?"

She creased her brow while recalling all the times when Ranma had done just that. "Right. Why do you want to be around _me, _though? There's plenty of other girls who'd be more than happy to be by you, I'm sure."

"But they're not you," he said simply, "you're the one I want."

She bit her lip, dropping her eyes as she quietly said, "I'm engaged. To Ranma."

"Yeah, I remember," he deflated, feeling suddenly heavy. For a long moment he sat in thought, unsure if he should be happy or disappointed at her rejection, and unsure of why he'd answered the way that he had.

'_It's what old Pork Butt would say,'_ he tried to reassure himself, but he couldn't help feel that the words had come too easily. When he spoke to her like this, it felt…honest.

"So, uh, how's that engagement thing goin'? Is he still bein' weird, or is he acting like his usual self and saying things all the wrong way?" Ranma asked quietly, his eyes rising to take in the tree line, "I know how you hate that, though."

"It's going," Akane answered without enthusiasm, the weight of what lay ahead pressing down on her. Now that the gears were in motion for the wedding, who knew how much control she actually had left in her future. But she wasn't giving up just yet.

"Must be nice for you," Ranma continued, feeling a lump tighten in his throat, "havin' someone who want's ta marry you like that."

"You keep bringing this up, you know," Akane said, then turned to lean her back against his. Tipping her head back, she lay it on his shoulder while she took in the stars. "I'd almost think you're _mad_ about me getting married."

Feeling her against him, the way her hair brushed his neck, how her voice became so soft when it was just the two of them, her _everything _was overwhelming! It was moments like these that the mixed-tape that was Akane had his heart dancing.

"It ain't that I'm mad, it's just that you like kids too much ta not have a family, and Ranma…" He shifted uncomfortably. "Not ta mention that someday you wanna run the dojo, and he's got the same kinda ideas for what he want's ta do, so it makes sense that you'd, you know, eventually…"

He began to fidget at the thought of them together, biting his thumbnail to calm his nerves. Craning her neck slightly, Akane watched him out of the corner of her eye. Smiling a small smile, she began to blush.

"So you, uh, you think Ranma really feels that way? He doesn't just think it's his responsibility to marry me because of our fathers?"

"What? Why'd you ever think that? I mean, maybe it was sorta that way in the beginning, but then after he got to know you he, uh, things changed…he told me one time."

Akane settled against him once more, nestling her head further into the crook of his shoulder as her heartbeat pounded in her ears.

"Thank you for telling me that, Ryoga."

"Yeah, well, what're friends for."

She quietly sat for a moment before a crooked grin spread across her face. "You know, I feel _weird_ calling you Ryoga…isn't that strange?"

Ranma went rigid, "You, uh, got some sorta nickname you'd rather use?"

"No," she said thoughtfully, "it's a bit, um, _deeper_ than that."

Letting out a nervous chuckle, Ranma's hand reached for his braid, pawing absently at the back of his neck until his fingers found the tie of Ryoga's bandanna.

"Oh well" Akane shrugged, "guess we may never know!"

Just then a meteor streaked past, leaving a glittering trail in its wake as the sky faded back to black. Simultaneously the two teens turned and shouted at one another, "Did you just see that?!"

"It was beautiful!" Akane gasped. "I've never seen one like that before!"

"We saw it together, so you know what _that_ means," Ranma said with a grin, leaving Akane to cock her head to the side in confusion.

"What?" she asked slowly, the smile on her face betraying her amusement.

"Well, they say that if two people see a shooting star at the same time that they're meant to be together."

"Like friends?" she asked innocently. He waggled his eyebrows.

Letting out a quick laugh, Akane shook her head. "Isn't that convenient for you! Going against my Father's wishes isn't that easy, you know."

"Hey, it's an old saying, it ain't really up ta us."

"I'd only agree if you managed to bring me stardust from this night to prove what we saw was real."

"Isn't that already a movie?" he asked, regarding her with a sideways grin. Akane shrugged, "If it worked once…"

"So a little dirt is all it'd take ta drop your fiancé? I thought you were better than that, Akane, where's your loyalty?"

Locking him in a penetrating stare, her smile faded to serious. "My loyalty is where my heart tells it to be."

The fire in her eyes nearly undoing him, Ranma caught himself just before his hands reached up to touch her. Somehow everything they said led them back to this place, and it was a dangerous place to be if he wanted his old life back.

He tried to change their positions, flopping onto his back to remove any further chances of them having an intimate moment together. Spreading his arms, he croaked, "That's a good quality for ya to have. Your Dad raised you right, so he's probably pretty good at pickin' guys for you ta marry, too."

A moment later and her head was on his bicep, her body pressed alongside his own as she lay beside him.

"He's a good man who has many good intentions, but the dojo can be run by Ranma and any Tendo…it doesn't have to be me."

The consequences of his stubbornness and pride coming to light, Ranma thought desperately, _'I gotta make myself less desirable, dammit, but HOW?!'_

Then it hit him; the same way he always got under her skin.

"That's great an' all, Akane, but could you move your head? It's cutting off the circulation in my arm."

When she remained silently in place for another second, he began poking her in the temple with his finger.

"I'm serious, Akane san. You're head must be built like the rest of you, it weighs a ton!"

"Honestly!" she belted out, sitting upright in a huff. Taking his hand in hers, she began flexing his fingers back and forth, "Can you feel that, or did I do _permanent damage _with my _fat_ head?"

"Agh, jeeze, you're gonna break them! Try ta reign in that brute strength of yours, wouldja!"

Her grip tightened, "Well maybe if you weren't such a _wimp_, you could take what a _girl_ can dish out!"

Watching her fall for his trap, he couldn't resist switching the dial back to 'Ryoga Mode'.

"A-A-Akane? You really think I'm a wimp?"

She creased her brow at the sudden change, "No…you think I'm fat?"

"I never said that."

"Close enough."

"Sorry."

She opened her mouth, readying a comeback before his words filtered through. With extreme caution, she folded her arms and muttered, "Me too."

He flashed her another broad Ranma-like smile, one of his fangs glinting against his lips, and melted all residual anger from her heart. With mock resignation she let out a huff, then settled the blanket over the two of them again.

…

Hearing voices, Ryoga rolled to his side, his head pounding violently at the temples with each beat of his heart.

"What…the…hell…?" he gasped, pressing his palm into his forehead.

"He's waking up! What was your plan, Granddaughter?"

"I no have one."

"Why did you feed him that if you had no plan?"

"I no think he eat it!"

"What should we do?"

Squinting his eyes open, Ryoga stared into the faces of three very unsure Amazon Warriors.

"Wha…ugh…" Swallowing a wave of nausea, he tried to collect his thoughts, "What did you do to me, you twit?"

Taken aback, Shampoo got down on one knee and lifted him by the collar. "You is in no position to talk like this to me! I forgive you once already, this just pushing your luck, Airen."

Squeezing his eyes closed against the pain his change in altitude had caused, Ryoga reached out to steady himself. Hearing the sound of teeth grinding, he cracked one eye to find his hand resting firmly on Shampoo's breast.

In a foggy, horrified state, he watched her eyes drop to her chest then slowly climb up his arm to rest on his face.

The moment dragged for what felt like an eternity, Ryoga unable to assess all that he should have been doing and not doing if he intended to see tomorrow. It was then that his usual luck caught up to him, and made up for lost time.

"Saotome!" Mousse bellowed, ready to come to his beloved's defense.

Looking up at the other boy, then at Cologne, Ryoga dropped his eyes back to the girl in front of him, then promptly vomited all over Shampoo.

…

"His time was up a while ago, you sure we shouldn't go out looking for him?" Ukyo asked, impatiently pacing in front of the clock.

"He's fine on his own," Nabiki dismissed, smiling as she offered another cup of tea to the two remaining girls, who graciously declined before their bladders burst. "It does look as though I'll have to add a late charge to Shampoo's bill, though."

"Late charge?" Ukyo groaned, "Hopefully that won't be coming complete with a body bag, who _knows_ what they could be doing to him right now!"

"Please," Kodachi said in her usual condescending way, "if Ranma sama were feeble enough to fall prey to that-"

As if on cue, Shampoo made her entrance trough the wall, followed close behind by Mousse holding Ranma's limp body over his shoulder.

Gasping in shock, Ukyo rushed up to the trio, "What the heck? You're supposed to deliver food, not people!"

Her joke falling on less than amused ears, the chef cringed as Shampoo's attention settled on her.

"Something wrong in his head! Have fun, I no want anymore!"

Dropping Ryoga to the floor, Mousse attempted to lay an arm across his companion's shoulders as they walked out. Snagging a coat rack instead, he stumbled into Shampoo as it fell in his path.

"Stupid Mousse," she muttered, slipping her fingers around his hand and leading him safely out of the house.

Staring after them quietly, all four girls simultaneously turned their attention to Ryoga as he began to stir. Turning him over, it was clear from his swollen face that he had, at least in part, paid the price for his rudeness.

"Oh!" Kasumi gasped, leaning forward to gently press around his eyes. "Perhaps I should get some ice packs," she finished, disappearing into the kitchen.

"Holy…what the hell did you do?" Ukyo grimaced, her hand tentatively hovering over his wounds.

With one final look at the object of her supposed affection, Kodachi stood.

"Thank you kindly for having me, but I do believe the evening has come to a close. Send my regards to Ranma's father if and when dear Ranma sama's face has recovered."

In a flourish of laughter and petals, the Black Rose made her exit just as Kasumi reentered the room. With a heavy sigh, she handed three icepacks to Nabiki and Ukyo.

"I suppose I'll go get the vacuum…"

"I just don't get it!" Ukyo snipped, "Where did Ranchan find those two? I mean, here he had two _normal_ fiancés, which was more than enough for him to handle, and the jackass had to go dig _them_ up outta who-knows-where! I swear, he must have some kind of _crazy glue _on him or something! And where _is_ Akane, anyway? Normally she'd be the one doing this to him before anyone else had a chance."

Scratching her nose to hide the smile, Nabiki stood and began to usher her remaining guest outside. "Ah, but who is to judge normal from crazy? As much as it pains me to do it, you will be receiving a full refund for tonight. Now if you don't mind we have a lot to do and Kodachi is correct, the evening has come to a close."

Feeling the burn of an insult she wasn't quite sure she'd received, Ukyo unsuccessfully attempted to get a word in edgewise while she walked. As she was coerced over the threshold with Nabiki hot on her heels, she turned to speak as the door closed in her face.

Not for the first time that week, she wondered if Ranma was worth the amount of trouble he dished out.

…

Jerking herself half-awake with a sneeze, Akane rubbed furiously at her nose before nuzzling deeper under the blanket. Feeling warmth radiating from something behind her, she turned to embrace its source, throwing an arm and a leg over Ranma before letting out a contented sigh. All was right with the world at that moment, the moment before her brain kicked in to tell her what she was actually doing.

A few scant seconds later, it did kick in, just before she kicked him out of the covers.

"What are we doing…?" she squeaked, her head whipping from side-to-side as she attempted to get her bearings. Somehow, the trees and fresh air were doing little to clear things up.

Rubbing at the footprint she'd just left on his ribs, Ranma looked at the well lit horizon and leapt to his feet.

"We fell asleep?! Oh shit, I really did keep you out all night! They are _definitely _gonna kill me if they find _this _out!"

"SCHOOL!" Akane shouted, "I've got to get to school! I can't skip, _I_ don't SKIP! At least not regularly, and I just did the other day, sort of, and…whatamIgonnado?"

"We need ta get you home, Akane, fast! Quick, get on!"

Dropping to one knee, he offered her his back, "It'll be faster if I carry you."

"What about our stuff? Kasumi will kill me if anything happens to-"

"I'll come back for it, you can get it from me after school!"

Hesitating as her brain tripped over the hurdles the morning had brought with it, she looked at Ranma's mind in Ryoga's body as it waited for her to climb aboard. With a pang of uncertainty, she wrapped her arms around his neck, "Just watch where you put your hands."

With a chuckle, he shook his head, "As if, Tomboy. You act like there's something there I wanna touch!"

Feeling one arm's grip loosen as she readied to smack him, he clasped his hands beneath her butt and leapt into action, a smug grin tugging at one corner of his mouth as she abandoned her attack. Both of her hands fisted into the fabric of his jacket, she could do little to protest his hold on her.

Running clear of the trees and leaping onto the rooftops, the situation turned real as he felt her settle, literally, into his hands. The situation he'd created to BE an ass had left him HOLDING her ass. Not just a little, either, ALL of it was cradled in his palms. And from the way she suddenly stiffened against his shoulders, he guessed that she had just come to he same conclusion

Too embarrassed to speak to one another, they found themselves standing on her roof all too soon, their evening officially at its end. Sliding down Ranma's back, Akane reluctantly slipped her arms free of his neck.

"Thanks for rushing me back like this, Ryoga…and of course for last night! I was really surprised, in a good way, so thank you."

Ranma watched her fidget, her gaze everywhere but on him, and found he could sympathize with the feeling. Scratching the back of his neck, he let out a nervous chuckle, "You really liked it?"

Stealing a glance up, he found she already had him locked in her line of vision. With a slight blush she whispered, "I loved it."

"Me too," he sighed, the words being carried on a puff of mist into the sky.

Irrationally they both began to laugh, the feelings of the moment bubbling to overflow within their chests. Watching as she threw a hand up to cover her smile, Ranma stepped closer and gently took her by the wrist.

"Your smile could stop traffic, Akane, you shouldn't hide it. Uh, I mean, _I_ like seein' it and all, so maybe you could show it ta me. ..more?"

She tilted her head up, her eyes screaming so much to him they were virtually unreadable. Twisting her hand in his grip, she took hold of his wrist then slid her hold lower. Tracing her fingertips over his palm, she changed direction and slowly intertwined their fingers, bringing their locked hands up as she took a step forward. Without stopping, she rose onto her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, then turned and slipped off the roof.

Ranma stayed frozen in place for a long moment, then felt his knees grow weak as his legs folded under him.

…

Switching her chin to rest in her other palm, Akane let out a dreamy sigh. Beneath her hand a goofy smile smeared itself across her lips as her eyelids drooped to half-mast. All these signs were like a four-alarm bell for Miss Hinako, making her repeatedly march up to Akane's desk in anticipation of catching her asleep in class. Each time, however, she would arrive beside the girl only to have her look up with the same grin she'd been wearing since before class had begun. Keeping the teacher on edge, she'd been draining students all day.

Hinako wasn't the only one wondering about the girl stuck in a dream. Several rows back, Ukyo fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat, looking between Akane and the empty chair beside her. She'd wondered if Ranma would be coming to school after seeing him post-Shampoo the night before, and wasn't surprised that he hadn't. What did surprise her was how Akane broke the news to the teacher, happily announcing that her fiancé wouldn't be able to attend school and shrugging indifferently when Miss Hinako asked what was wrong. If she was mad at him for what he'd done, she wasn't exactly showing it!

Seeing Hinako zero in on the small girl once more, Ukyo's mouth dropped open when Akane held her hand flat and began leveling it off of her own head while sizing herself against the now-grown teacher.

"You got BIG!" Akane gasped, "Was it from eating all our food? 'Cause you sure ate a lot."

The taller woman looked down in disapproval. Akane, never one to back down from a glare, lifted a finger and poked Hinako, "Stay away from my Dad."

Jumping to her feet, Ukyo dashed between them, pressing a hand to Akane's forehead.

"Geeze, Akane, you still aren't feeling well? _That_ must be why she's acting like this…I'll take her to the infirmary so don't you worry!"

Miss Hinako, her hands already making a circle, regarded the pair warily before taking the easier rout and waving them out of the room.

Out in the hall Ukyo lifted Akane's bag, "Well that was close! What's gotten into you today, Shug?"

"Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows!" Akane giggled. "They're part of a balanced breakfast, y'know."

Ukyo blinked. "Okay. So how's Ranchan doing?"

"Idunno, Kasumi wouldn't talk, " Akane shrugged, her feet falling a bit unsure.

"Well why didn't he come to school, is he hurt too bad after last night?"

"Last night…" Akane sighed, drawing a funny look from the girl beside her.

"Did he look all right this morning?"

"This morning…" she grinned sloppily.

Pressing her hand to Akane's head in earnest, Ukyo blew air out from between her lips, "No kidding? You really _are_ burning up!"

" 'Cause I'm so _hot_," Akane slurred, licking a finger tip and pressing it to her hip with a sizzle. Her eyes lifting up to Ukyo, she waved a hand in the space beside the chef's head.

"How'd you _do _that?" she marveled.

Looking beside her at the empty space Akane was referring to, Ukyo turned her eyes back to her friend, "Do…what?"

"Make it all rippley like that!"

"Make _what_ all rippley?"

"The AIR," Akane answered in a breathy voice, "with waves and colors, like fireworks! You need to show me how to _do_ that!"

Swatting Akane's hands away from the side of her head, Ukyo grabbed her by the shoulders and led her to the Nurse, promising to show her all that she knew right after she got better.

Not surprisingly, Akane was sent home early, Nabiki arriving between her own college classes to escort her. Regarding her younger sister with a thin-lipped grin, Nabiki shouldered her bag while Akane marveled at the invisible wonders her fever had created, making the short trip an amusing one for both girls.

"Kasumi!" Nabiki called out as they walked through the door, "Akane's gone insane, get the video camera!"

After a brief scuffling was heard in the kitchen, the eldest sister hurried down the hall just as Akane spun on her.

"Oh, Neesan, thank goodness! You are _just_ the one I'm gonna need."

Drying her hands on her apron, Kasumi glanced at her middle sister, earning an amused shrug. Truth be known, Nabiki was finding this to be more amusing than tallying profits…and she'd been serious about the camera.

"Akane, dear," Kasumi soothed the excited girl, "what do you need me for?"

"My SHADOW!" Akane blurted out, looking at her feet. "The darn thing got away, like Peter Pan's! So I figure YOU could sew it on for me…" She began lifting her feet one at a time, steadying herself on the wall while passing a hand under each foot as it rose. "I just need to catch it. Hey, where's Ranma? He's got that Chestnut thing, bet _he's _fast enough!"

"Look behind you," Nabiki helpfully interjected, "I think it's hiding there!"

Akane's mouth opened in her big 'Ah ha!' moment, then she squinted and pressed a finger to her lips with a shrewd grin. Leaping into the air, she tried to spin around and catch her darker half in action, resulting in an undignified landing that slumped her against the wall. Cracking open her eyes, she lifted her hand from the wall slowly, as if it were caught in something sticky.

"Gotcha!" she whispered, making a shadow puppet of a dog barking.

Worry in her voice, Kasumi took Akane by the arm, "Let's get you some Tylenol and put you to-"

"Where's Ranma?" Akane interrupted. "Ukyo said he was hurt?"

Nabiki and Kasumi exchanged glances. They hadn't wanted Akane to know about the previous night as there was little they could say that wouldn't invoke the younger girl's rage.

"Why don't we worry about _you_ for now," Kasumi smiled, resuming their walk to Akane's room.

"Why does Ukyo know something I don't know?" Akane sulked, pouting out her bottom lip. Following her sister toward her room, she suddenly tore her arm away and dropped cross-legged to the floor.

"I wanna know, too! Nabiki, tell me! I'll pay you!"

Opening her mouth, Nabiki was silenced with a searing look from Kasumi. Well, a look that was hardly even warm much less hot by regular standards, but for Kasumi was nearly inconceivable.

"Sorry, sis. Our elder has spoken," she shrugged.

Pulling her mouth to the side, Akane flopped onto her back at the top of the stairs. "I'm sleepy," she muttered, then began to snore.

Shoulders sagging slightly in defeat, Kasumi lifted her sister's right arm and leg, "Could you lift the other side? We need to get her to bed."

Grabbing hold a bit reluctantly, Nabiki did as she was asked. As they began to tug, however, it became quite apparent that _they_ weren't going to be the one's to move the smaller girl.

"Well now, I can certainly see why she sinks in water," Nabiki quipped, letting her grip loosen.

"Oh, _why_ do Father and Mr. Saotome keep drinking like this?" Kasumi griped uncharacteristically. "We could use their help if they weren't always in bed until the afternoon!"

Nabiki smirked, now amused by _both_ of her sisters.

As they stood staring at Akane, Ranma's door slid open. Taking a step out, Ryoga looked down the hall at the three girls, "Is something wrong?"

His left eye still too swollen to see, he turned his head to take in the situation with his less puffy side. It took a moment, but he realized that Akane, love of his life, was on the floor unconscious.

"How did this happen?" he rushed out, scooping her into his arms. Taking a moment to marvel at his strength, Kasumi quietly answered, "She's sick. Would you help us get her to bed?"

"Of course!" he replied, already moving in the opposite direction of Akane's room. Gently laying a hand on his shoulder, Kasumi redirected him the correct way.

"Right!" he agreed, marching to her door. Stepping inside, he lay her down on the bed and slowly pulled back. Staring at her sleeping face, so reminiscent of a fairytale, he began to descend again while licking his swollen lips. Several inches from his goal, Nabiki stepped beside him and cleared her throat, "And what is this…Ranma? Did you forget about _us?"_

With an audible gulp, Ryoga began to laugh nervously as he hovered over Akane. Before he had a chance to move away, her hand grabbed the braid that dangled over his shoulder.

"What happened to your _face?_"

"You should go now," Kasumi said quietly, ushering Ryoga toward the door.

"Wait!" Akane said impatiently, tugging him back by his hair. "What did you _do _to my fiancé's _face?_"

"It was Shampoo," he said too cheerily, "are you jealous?"

"You were with Shampoo again? Why?" Akane muttered, her reality a bit too clouded to make sense of anything new.

"This isn't really happening," Nabiki said calmly, hoping to sound convincing. Hearing her sister while staring at him, she squinted her eyes at Ryoga, "How'd you do that with her voice?"

Reaching up, she grabbed either side of his mouth and squished his lips into a fish-face. "Do it again so I can see how…wait. What did you do to his face?"

Rolling her eyes, Nabiki lifted Akane's fingers from their hold and pushed Ryoga toward the door. "Go, if you plan on seeing tomorrow."

"What did you do?" Akane began to shout, "That's not yours to mess around with!"

Still looking confused, Ryoga was shoved through the door.

"So what do we do now?" Nabiki asked, glancing over Kasumi's shoulder at their seething sister. Lifting a hand to her mouth, Kasumi answered quietly, "We call Dr. Tofu."

…

Pacing nervously, Ranma glanced at the clock. School had ended half an hour ago, if Akane was coming to visit she sure was taking her time. Unless she wasn't, then she'd be home by now. She _was_ visiting though, right?

She seemed like she'd had a good time, even _said_ it before the…kiss. The kiss. _The Kiss!_

With a blush that spread to the roots of his hair he resumed his pacing in earnest, the energy building inside needing a release.

'_She likes me, right?' _he contemplated, his feet moving without thought. _'I mean, I know it ain't me right now, but she must know it's me on SOME level and that's why she's being like this, right? Or does she really like that idiot more than me…what am I doing? That's too stupid ta even think about!"_

Pausing, he looked up in mild shock to find he was standing outside her front gate.

"Well, if I'm already here, can't hurt ta check if she's home," he reasoned aloud, leaping over the fence and making a dash for the roof. Leaning over the edge, he stole a peek into her room where he saw Dr. Tofu frowning at a thermometer. Shaking his head, he lifted a bottle of medicine from his bag and helped Akane swallow a pill before walking out of the room.

Ranma flipped himself back onto the roof, a sense of dread weighing down his heart. "I did this," he murmured, "it's 'cause she was with me…"

His spine suddenly tingling, he spun to where his battle aura tugged the most. There, on the other side of the roof stood Happosai, an evil glint in his old eyes.

"Don't try to stop me, boy. If you were smart, you'd take advantage of the situation and make some memories while Akane chan's too weak to fight."

"That what you would do, ya perverted old geezer?" Ranma shot back. "Sorry, but I still got some common decency left in me."

Happosai narrowed his eyes, "So you won't move?"

"Not likely."

The old man reached into a pocket and pulled out a pair of panties, "Not even for _these?_ I heard you like them nearly as much as I do."

A strange grin tugging at his lips, Ranma's face lit-up, "I suppose I ain't completely unreasonable."

"That's it, m'boy! Glad to see there's still some testosterone in _some of you_, at least!"

After a brief struggle, Ranma managed to pull them from Happosai's tiny, reluctant fingers. Balling the soft cotton into his fist, he looked down at his nemesis.

"So, these Akane's?"

"Of course they are! Picked fresh from the clothes line this morning."

"Bet that was hard for you ta just give up like that."

The old man stared at Ranma's fist, a sliver of light yellow just visible through his fingers. Involuntarily, his hand began to reach toward his prize. Letting him step closer, Ranma moved his hand back and forth, watching Happosai follow his movements like a dog with a toy. And just like a tricked dog, Happosai leapt from the roof when Ranma fake-threw the underwear into the sunset.

"Moron," Ranma chuckled, "like I'd just give you a pair of Akane's panties! That should give me a few minutes."

Hooking his toes onto the roof, he swung back over the edge to take another look through Akane's window. To his horror, he watched himself sneak into the room and quietly shut the door behind him.

"That freakin' little pervert!" Ranma growled, watching Ryoga cautiously move toward her bed. "He's as bad as Happosai, dammit!"

Dropping from the roof he dashed to the koi pond, dunking himself into P-Chan and stashing his clothes under the back porch.

…

Stealing a look over his shoulder, Ryoga took a step closer to Akane's sleeping form. The slight flush the fever painted over her cheeks only adding to her beauty, he swallowed back a nervous chuckle as he brushed a lock of hair from her forehead. Bending lower, he descended on her helpless form, pausing as he hovered over her lips. He was sweaty, nervous, and ready to have a heart attack, but he was going to do it, dammit! He was going to kiss Akane even if he had to sneak into her room a thousand more nights to do so! Even if he had to drug her or keep her sick or-

The door suddenly opened, causing Ryoga to retreat to a corner of the ceiling and hide. Looking down, he watched Nabiki walk in with P-Chan in her arms…a snarling P-Chan that was currently glaring in Ryoga's general direction. Waiting for them to pass underneath, he dropped silently to the floor and slipped from the room.

Laying in her bed, Akane slowly opened her eyes. As Nabiki gently closed the door behind her, Akane marveled as she watched the sound waves ripple through the walls like a pebble in a pond.

"Neechan…I can see _sound!_" she said in wonder, a smile cocking up one flushed cheek.

"Of course you can," Nabiki grinned, her sister's hallucinations not yet ceasing to amuse her. Holding up P-Chan, she smiled wider, "Look who I found just prancing around. Thought P-Chan would make you feel better…maybe."

"P-Chan!" Akane cried, reaching her hands out to take the tiny black ball. Giving him a quick snuggle, she held him at arm's length and smiled soggily at him. After a long pause, she started to laugh.

"Nabiki, you _tricky_ devil! I don't know how you did it…how'd you get all of him to fit?"

Nabiki's eyes froze in an almost worried wide-eyed state, bouncing between Akane, P-Chan, and anything else in the room that could possibly help make sense of her sister's fever talk. Finding nothing, she gave up to utter confusion.

"Akane, _what_ are you talking about?"

The younger girl's smile widened as she lifted P-Chan toward her sister.

"This isn't P-Chan, silly…it's Ranma!"

* * *

><p><em>AN: Pffew, it's finally done! Somehow my "about 11 pages a chapter" has morphed into closer to 20, so it IS taking longer to update…but you get more for your buck! _

_I know I was a terrible, horrible stinker for not responding to my reviews, and I feel TERRIBLE about that, especially since I got SO MANY for the last chapter! Without each of you, I wouldn't have broken my personal best for # of reviews/chapter…THANK YOU SOOO MUCH! _

_(And why not go for 2? Help by donating a review TODAY!)_

_*****THANKS GO OUT TO:*****_

_ZariDenim, JO, spiderlin, Valancy Stirling_

_Caia-chan, tuatara, kana, MonkeyBiznez, TL, VlightPhase_

_JWG, Richard Ryley, chesnutsy, pahlee_

_All who reviewed as a guest!_

_YOU ARE ALL AWESOME!_

**NEXT_ TIME: Knowing is Half the Babble!_**


	7. Knowing is Half the Babble

**Opposite Attraction**

**Disclaimer: Babble fish, babble fish, babble fish! See, if you owned one, you'd know what I just said.**

**Chapter 7: Knowing is Half the Babble**

* * *

><p>Turning P-Chan over in her hands, Akane squinted at her pet pig. Blinking several times as her eyes attempted to focus, she reached forward and began to run her hand down his belly.<p>

"There must be a seam or something here somewhere," she murmured, her hand going dangerously low on his anatomy. Suddenly giving out a shrill squeal, he crossed his back legs while a small trickle of blood began to seep from one nostril. Giggling, Akane covered her mouth and looked up at Nabiki. "Ho ho, I guess all his parts line up!"

Having a tough time not laughing, Nabiki shook her head. "If that's supposed to be Ranma, little sis, you just confirmed your engagement."

"You're right, that was so indecent of me!" Akane yelped. Dropping P-Chan onto her bed, she tapped him on the nose, "You best not talk, you hear? I know where you live, don't forget!"

"So P-Chan's Ranma, hmm?" Nabiki asked, reading the warning label on Akane's medicine bottle, "And _how much_ of this did you take?"

The moment he was out of her grip, Ranma began to back cautiously away. Despite it having happened in his swapped cursed form by a delirious Akane while she revealed his deep, dark secret… she'd still run her hand down his body and nearly grabbed his royal jewels. This was, in short, the most erotic thing that had ever happened to him, and that was saying something for Ranma.

Feeling her hands slip around him once more, he found himself pressed nose-to-nose with Akane.

"Look at him, Neechan, he's gonna talk, I just know he will! We gotta shut him up…" Turning her face slowly back to her sister she asked, "How do _you_ do it? You don't…" Her eyes going wide, she ran a thumb across her throat.

"Really now, Akane, just _what_ is it that you think I do? Besides, he's a pig. He might squeal, but he's physically incapable of _talking_."

Akane scrutinized him harder. "Weren't you listening, he's Ranma! He won't always _be a pig. _Oh wait," she said, her voice taking on a mocking edge, "I guess he will."

Wiping the blood away from his nose with the back of his hoof, Ranma let out a sardonic, "Bwee bwee."

Watching Akane make faces at P-Chan, and P-Chan return them, Nabiki rubbed her eyes.

"Now _I'm_ going crazy, whatever did the Good Doctor give you?" Placing the medicine bottle down, she looked at her hands, "Did I get it on me? I need to wash my hands…or something."

Hearing her sister make an exit, Akane looked up with satisfaction, "I thought she'd _never_ leave!"

Reaching over to her desk, she lifted the teacup and dumped it over P-Chan's head. "We should talk about your face."

Looking down at himself in horror, Ranma grabbed a fist-full of blankets and pulled them up to his chin. Suppressing a girly scream, he gasped, "A-Akane! What the hell…I don't got any clothes on!"

"It's okay," she said, waving her hand dismissively, "It's _Ryoga's_ body so it's all right."

He gave her an even look, "It's okay for you to see Ryoga naked?"

"Yeah-wait! No…?" she tried to answer, growing unsure as the logic of her conversation sank in. "Your _face!_" she said suddenly, recalling her original mission, "Ryoga broke your face with Shampoo!"

Leaning closer, he frowned, "Whaddya mean he _broke_ it?"

"Pu-shhew!" she said, blowing her hands up between them, "But on your face. And he keeps seeing Shampoo, but not in the bath like you'd think…because it's the _girl_ kind." Her features suddenly dropping, she leaned in close and whispered, "The bath. There's no coming back from that one."

"Aww great," he moaned, drowning his face in his hands, "why's he so freakin' stupid?"

Beginning to giggle, she met his eyes with a blush and started to sing, "I see London, I see France, but Ranma forgot his underpants!"

"Really, Akane? Hey, wait a sec, why ain't you surprised it's me?"

"I always know when it's _you_, baka," she yawned, "you make bad disguises."

"But the body swap, P-Chan, Ryoga's curse..?"

She blinked slowly, her eyelids fighting to make their way back open, then poked him in the chest with a finger, "_You_ have the curse, silly."

Looking down at her finger, she spread the rest of her hand open and pressed her palm to his skin. Running it back and forth over his pectorals she let her eyes fall shut.

"I've wanted to do this to you _so many times_. Always going around with no shirt on, makin' me think bad, bad, _wonderfully delicious_ things…"

Ranma's mouth dropped open, his grip on the blankets going loose for a moment before he scrambled to cover himself again.

"Wish it was yours," she grinned, licking her lips, "bet you'd taste better than ice cream."

Watching her fall back to her pillow with a look of contented indulgence, reality fought through Ranma's brain. Pressing his own hand to his chest in an attempt to stop the tingling sensation she'd spread across his skin, he let out a strangled gasp.

"W-w-what about the whole curse thing, now? This is okay with you, Ryoga changin' an all?"

"YOU have the curse, so YOU change, duh," she whispered, nuzzling into her pillow, "why'zat so hard to get? Besides, Nabiki said this isn't real. Just dreaming…about you…again…"

"Right, right-wait! _Again?_" he choked, "You've had dreams about me?"

"Hmmm…" she smiled, trying to sit up but failing. With a calculated amount of effort, she brought her index finger to her lips, "Shhh, it's a secret! Mr. Sandman sent me a dream- and you were there, and you were there, and _you_ were there…but why Toto, never made any sense why she brought him? Probably just didn't want to go alone, I guess."

Suddenly reaching out she grabbed his wrist, her smile fading away as her eyes struggled open to slits.

"Please, don't leave me tonight?"

Feeling his chest tighten, Ranma grasped her hands and pressed them to his heart, "I'm not goin' anywhere, Akane."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

A smile touching her lips, she stopped fighting and let her eyes fall shut.

Taking a moment to stare down at her sleeping form, he brushed the backs of his fingers across her cheek.

"When'd you get so cute?" he whispered, shaking his head.

Letting out a sigh, he gently placed her hands on the bed and stood, all too quickly remembering that he was naked. Looking for a source of cold water he tried the teacup, but she'd thoroughly emptied it when it had still been hot.

"Damn!" he cursed under his breath, "For the first time in my life, water _ain't_ tryin' ta get to me!" Throwing a glance outside toward the koi pond, he decided that leaving Akane alone was riskier than getting discovered in her room, at least for the moment.

Fumbling through her closet, he found her robe and slipped it on with a frown. It was a shorter than he was comfortable with, and a tad frillier than he'd remembered, but he was really in no position to be turning his nose up; nothing else was even close to his size. Resigning himself to his current situation and attire, he dropped to the floor beside her bed and pulled his knees up, resting his elbows on top. For several moments he fumbled with the material in an effort to cover himself in a partly modest way.

"How do girls _wear _this stuff?" he mumbled, pulling the fabric in an ever changing dance of failure around his hips. Giving up trying to be covered _and _comfortable, he stretched out his legs and lay his head against Akane's mattress, quietly drifting off to sleep.

Shortly after his breathing settled into a regular pattern, Akane opened her eyes. Reaching out, she slipped a marker from her desk and began to write. After several moments she cracked a satisfied grin and returned the marker to her desk. Laying back down facing Ranma, she took hold of his hand before finally, and truly, falling asleep for the night.

…

"Ow," Ryoga complained in monotone as the toothbrush irritated his split lip.

"Ow…owww…ow."

Spitting, he washed the toothpaste away before eyeing the mouthwash with caution. "Not today," he tried to grin, then looked at himself in the mirror. "Not that I'll even have a chance with Akane when I look like _this, _dammit."

'_It'll only be a matter of time,' _he thought. Whether he won her heart or not, Akane was betrothed to _him_. She'd learn to love him, eventually.

She'd have to.

Giving his reflection a last look of determination and a nod of encouragement, his self pep-talk was concluded for the morning.

Walking through the kitchen to get his lunch, Kasumi moved beside him.

"Ranma kun, could you do me a favor and let the teacher know that Akane won't be coming to class today? Oh, and pick-up any assignments she missed."

"Um, she's still sick?" he tried to ask with as little excitement in his voice as possible.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry over," she reassured him, "Dr. Tofu says she'll be just fine in another day or so, all she needs is some rest."

"A-another day?" he stammered. If he was going to take advantage of the opportunity that Fate had so graciously laid out before him, he'd have to work fast.

"Yes, another _whole_ day," Nabiki's voice chimed into the conversation from much too close behind the presently pigtailed boy. Whipping his body around, Ryoga bumped into her arm as he faced her, fumbling his bento several times in the air before recovering his grip on it.

"O-ohayo," he said through a forced smile, leveling his lunch off between them in a defensive maneuver to regain space. Taking a step back he began to make a break for freedom, his sense of self preservation miraculously overriding his poor sense of direction.

Just through the doorway Ryoga felt a hand fall onto his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. "Aren't we a bit too lively this morning, m'boy?"

Looking up into the face of his 'father,' Ryoga scratched the back of his head and chuckled. "I have plenty of energy _all_ the time, uh, Pops…I just tend to waste it on irritating people."

Pausing for a moment as Ryoga's too-truthful response settled in his brain, Genma began to laugh, clapping him on the back.

"Just like your Old Man, always honest and never backing down from a challenge!"

"Your mother's coming over later," Nabiki mumbled, slipping past with a mug of coffee in one hand. When Ryoga turned back around, Genma was on his back in panda form.

"Really, how do you live with yourself?" Ryoga grumbled in disgust.

"At least I still LIVE!" came his signed reply.

"I have to go to school now," the younger man said, leaning close to his elder with a sneer, "_some_ of us have _responsibilities._"

Walking boldly to the front door, he slipped into his shoes, stepped outside, and headed down the street in the wrong direction.

…

"Akane, are you awake?" Kasumi asked quietly, giving a gentle knock on the door before stepping inside. Watching as her youngest sister turned to face her with a pleasant calm etched into the very fabric of her being, she began to smile.

"Well, don't you look like the cat who ate the canary!"

Cracking her eyes with a grin, Akane gave a smug nod as she sang out, "And I feel _fabulous!_" Then her features suddenly dropped, "_Why_ do I feel fabulous?"

Moving across the room Kasumi swapped out the old tea cup on her sister's desk for a new one, then sat at the foot of the bed. "Maybe you had a wonderful dream, that always brightens _my_ day."

"I don't think so," she answered slowly, feeling like something rather obvious was being overlooked.

"Does it have something to do with a certain young man?" Kasumi asked, leaning over and resting her palm on her sister's forehead.

"Oh, _please!_" Akane scoffed. "Yeah, there's actually a half-naked boy hiding under my bed right now!"

"If that were true, I don't believe he would be hiding so much as beaten unconscious."

The two girls shared a laugh before Kasumi gave a quick nod of approval, "It seems your fever is gone." Reaching over to the desk she lifted the pill bottle, "But you still need to take this, doctor's orders."

"I had a fever?" the younger girl asked, her foggy memories fighting through the hallucinations as she swallowed her medicine down. Then she began to grin, "_Doctor, _hmm? Did we enjoy the house call, Oneesan?"

"I _had_ to call him, you were sick."

Akane gave her a level look.

"You had a high fever!" Kasumi said, trying to maintain her innocence.

"I would have lived."

Meeting her older sister's eyes, she broke out in a broad smile, "Kidding, I'm kidding!"

"Thank you. I'm glad to see you're well again."

Stretching her arms and legs out with a yawn, Akane groaned. "Oh, I'm all stiff!"

"Why don't you take a nice bath?" Kasumi interjected helpfully, "I'm sure it would make you feel better. Would you like any help?"

Akane shook her head, "I can do it on my own, but thank you. I just need to move."

"So long as you're all right," the older girl gently smiled, rising to her feet.

Giving a small wave as her sister left, Akane arched her back in a full-body stretch, kicked her legs free of their prison of blankets and sat up. Throwing her arms out in front of her, she quickly dropped them in disgust. "Ugh, gross, I stink! I guess I _did _have a fever."

Peeling her nightgown off over her head, she dropped it on the bed and walked to the closet. After a few moments of searching, she stepped back in confusion, "Where's my robe?"

Running a hand through her hair as she contemplated the missing piece of her wardrobe, she heard a small noise and spun around in a ready stance; with things the way they currently were, _anything_ could be in her room at the moment. Looking down at her presently very nude state, she stepped back and blindly reached inside her closet for something to cover up with. Tugging on the first thing her hand touched, she stared dumbly at the belt to her robe.

"Wha-?"

Turning slowly around, she found herself looking at Ranma, wearing Ryoga's skin and her clothes.

Her eyes going wide, she opened her mouth to scream just before Ranma's hand clamped over it, his other covering his eyes.

"I'm not lookin'! I'm not lookin', I _swear it_, just don't yell!"

Spinning around the corner to get out of his view, she pressed her back to the wall and hissed, "WHAT do you think you're DOING in my room, in my closet, in my _clothes?_ WHY are you in my _clothes, w_hat happened to yours?"

"I changed outside, so I put 'em under the house, d'ya got something I can borrow?" he replied, handing her the robe from around the doorway.

With a look of confusion, Akane slipped her arms through the sleeves and wrapped it around herself, momentarily reveling in his warmth still caught in its folds. "Why would you change _outside_ of my house, Ryoga? Seems a bit risqué for you."

Ranma paused, "Whad'ja just call me?"

"Risqué. Normally you're more discreet," she answered, rummaging through a drawer before handing him a pair of her shorts. Short, clingy ones. If Ranma was going to toy with her, the least she could do was return the favor!

"So ya think I, _Ryoga_, am discreet, huh?" he asked carefully, "More discreet than _who_?"

"_Ranma_, silly!" she laughed, "Who else would be vulgar enough to go around half naked all the time?"

"Uh, what about last night?"

"What about it?" she replied innocently. "Did he do something _else_ to be embarrassed about?"

'_Ya don't remember and now you wanna play this stupid game, Akane?' _he thought, setting his jaw in determination. Poking his head out of the doorway he smiled a devilish grin before asking, "So ya think I'm better than that _vulgar _old Ranma, is that it?"

Akane shrugged, "Well yeah, Ryoga, of course! "

"Is it 'cause he's always trying ta do perverted things to you?" he asked, stepping out of the closet.

Meeting his glare, she stood at her full, diminutive height. "As a matter of fact, he _does_ always do perverted things, thanks for reminding me."

"What did he possibly do to ya that's got you _this_ worked up? " He took a step toward her.

"It wasn't _to me!_" she clipped back before slamming her mouth shut.

His eyebrows rose, followed shortly after by his mouth as it curled into a wicked grin. "Oh, so _that's _it, huh? Feelin' left out, are you, Akane san?"

She stepped away while shaking her head, rattling her thoughts like Scrabble tiles in hopes that something coherent would miraculously form out of the jumble of emotions in her brain.

"Tha- that's…don't…_please!_ That's just stupid to even say!"

"Is it?" he asked, his voice losing a pinch of its venom. For one of the first times, he was beginning to think he might have actually stumbled upon a clue as to what Akane was feeling…and without the help of a mallet or hindsight.

"I already said that it was stupid, I don't _want_ to have some pervert for a fiancé! If I'd wanted that, it wouldn't matter _who_ I married!"

"But he ain't the pervert! _They're_ the one's doin' stuff to _him!_"

"Oh please!" She let out a dry laugh, "If he's so great, why doesn't he just avoid the situation all together? He sure knows how to get away from responsible behavior, and he sure as _heck_ knows how to avoid ME when he wants to!"

"I don't _avoid_ you, Akane, it's called stealth training!"

She stared back up at him with renewed defiance, "I never said _you_ did, Ryoga."

'_Right,'_ he thought with a grimace, _'Ryoga.' _

"You just like twistin' _his_ words around, Akane, which isn't exactly helpful. He already has enough trouble sayin' what he means!"

"That's no excuse for saying the wrong thing in the first place!"

"It only comes out wrong, in his head he's like a damn poet!"

"Honestly, you don't need to defend _him_," she mumbled, looking down at her feet as she kicked her toes off the floor, "there's no excuse for womanizing, and he needs to stop hiding behind his supposed training and make a choice."

"What are you…he's not like that! And whaddy'a mean _supposed_ training? Quit talkin' bad about someone who ain't even here!"

"I feel that he's here in spirit," she provoked, batting her eyes at him. Planting his fists on his hips, he loomed over her, "So no matter what, you're gonna see him as some letch?"

She nodded with a baited smirk.

"But I get ta do whatever I want and it's okay 'cause _I'm_ not like that?"

Pausing for a long moment, she gave a quick nod, but it was lacking the confidence of her previous actions.

"Guess I'm glad I ain't _that_ guy, then," he continued, mustering as seductive a voice as he could from Ryoga's throat, "otherwise you might get the wrong idea about what I'm about ta do."

"Don't be silly," she said, her voice wavering in uncertainty, "you wouldn't do anything wrong."

Slowly taking the belt from her hands, he lifted it over her head and brought it down to circle her waist.

"Lift your arms," he commanded in a harsh whisper, keeping her trapped in his gaze. After a moment's debate, her arms rose hesitantly, releasing the fabric of the robe to drape scandalously over her bare skin.

Keeping his eyes on hers, he slipped a thumb underneath the hem and pulled it closed again, tying a knot over her stomach when he was done.

"That okay?" he asked in a husky breath, realizing too late that he might have stepped over the line while trying to affect only Akane.

"I-it's great," she stuttered, sucking in air as she remembered to breathe again.

Letting her arms fall, her fingers brushed against his on their way to her sides. Clenching his jaw, he reached out and took her hands, lifting them up between them. Staring hard into his eyes, she shook her head and stepped back, breaking out of his hold.

"What are you doing…what am _I _doing? I have to get you something else to wear."

Looking down slowly, his eyes met with a growing problem with and within his shorts. Dropping to her bed, he pulled a pillow over his lap.

After a brief search, she turned back to him in defeat. "You said your things were out back, under the house?"

"Uh, yeah. Under the porch."

"I'll get them for you," she muttered, unable to look directly at him. "I don't think I have anything that would fit you and not look, uh, well…"

She motioned at him with her hand, but kept her attention locked on the floor, "…so revealing."

Dropping his eyes to his lap with a blush, he nodded. "Sounds…good. I'll just hide here 'till you get back."

"Okay, Ryoga."

He lifted his eyes, "Right, Akane san."

…

Wandering the streets of what he hoped to still be Nerima, Ryoga let out a growl. With no one to guide him, he was hopelessly lost and quite certain he wasn't going to make it to school that day. Rounding a corner, he nearly knocked into a woman in a kimono.

"Sorry, ma'am," he grumbled, trudging past with little pause.

"Ranma?" came her bewildered reply.

Coming to a halt as the shock of hearing 'his' name filtered through his bad mood, Ryoga spun around.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

The smile fading from her lips, she stared at him for a long moment before she began to removed the flowery cloth covering from her katana, "Shouldn't you be in _school?_"

"What kind of fool are you?" he cried in annoyance at the obvious, "I'd be there if I could just find the damned place!"

Leveling her now unsheathed blade at the boy, Nodoka grew serious, "That's no way for you to speak to your mother."

Feeling the blood drain from his face, Ryoga gritted his teeth together, "Shit."

…

Stepping into the kitchen after her bath, Akane bit her thumb nail as she pondered her next move.

She knew 'Ryoga' was Ranma, and that she was worried about him being left out in the cold (in every sense of the phrase). She just wasn't sure what to do about it without letting him know that she knew, or cared.

"N-Neesan?" she said quietly, stepping beside her eldest sister. "Now that we all understand what's really going on, do you think we should, maybe, let Ranma back, uh, _in_ the house? Just while it's cold, maybe?"

Kasumi's head jerked up with a start, her hand clamping over her mouth.

"Oh, how did I forget?! Of course he's welcome back in the house, we can't leave him to freeze! What he did, well, it's okay if you're _engaged _to the person!"

Akane knit her brows together, "What DID he do?"

"Oh, you don't need to trouble yourself with that, Akane, it wasn't much of anything."

"It was enough that you threw him out," she said as non-confrontationally as possible.

"Focus your energy on getting better," the elder Tendo replied, giving her sister a comforting pat on the cheek before returning to her ever-present kitchen duties.

Letting out a defeated breath, Akane pulled her robe tighter and left the room. Stealing a quick glance over her shoulder, she thanked the gods for Nabiki's afternoon classes keeping her out of the house, then slipped through the back door. Finding a bundle of clothes under the step to the porch, exactly where Ranma said it would be, she pressed it to her chest and ran back inside with a small shiver.

"Here, Ryoga," she called into her room, keeping her line-of-site on the floor. After a moment's pause with no reply, she lifted her head slightly to take an experimental look around.

At first she didn't notice him as her eyes scanned over her bed without a second thought, but something nagged at her, causing her to step closer.

Curled in a tight ball in the center of her bed was Ranma, smiling in his sleep and wrapped in a nest of her blankets.

"Baka," she whispered, reaching a hand out toward him. Closing her eyes, she erased the vision of Ryoga and replaced it with that of her true fiancé as she brushed her fingers across his cheek.

Nuzzling further into her warm bed, he rolled onto his stomach and pressed his face into her pillows.

With a gentle smile, Akane pulled the covers over his shoulders, then paused. Dropping closer, she stared at the back of his neck.

There, scrawled in her handwriting, were the words, 'He's P-Chan, baka! Piggy piggy, oink oink!'

Stumbling as she backed away from the bed and the truth, her mouth fell open to gasp for air. Staring in horror, she continued to back across the room until she hit the wall, instantly sliding down into a crumpled heap on the floor.

"That wasn't a dream?" she whispered, her mind reeling as reality sank in. "What he was saying…Ryoga has a curse, too…and it's P-Chan?"

In a sick way it made sense, she realized, he was just a bit too clever to have been only a pig. He had always looked the other way when she'd gotten dressed, seemed to understand what she said a bit too clearly, and now she could see why Ranma hated him as much as he did. Why he always tried to get him away from her, out of her lap, her arms…

Then it began to hit harder, just as she was going to do once she saw Ryoga again! All the times he'd been in her room, in her bed, sleeping cuddled to her chest! She'd told him her secrets, kissed him, had intimate moments with him that she was far from ready to share with _him!_ She'd been tricked, deceived, humiliated, and it hurt. More importantly, it made her mad.

Across the room Ranma stirred, causing her rage-filled eyes to fall on him. Rising from the floor she made her way to her bed, her fists balled and ready to unleash some of her vengeance on anything unfortunate enough to grab her attention. Looking down, she glared at her unsuspecting, loud-mouthed, insensitive jerk of a fiancé sleeping happily through all of her pain, the back of his neck taunting her repeatedly with her words.

She wanted to hit him, his present face doing nothing to stop her anger. It would be easy, it was always so easy to turn Ranma into a target, because he was always there when trouble arose. He was always there when the wrong person showed up or the wrong thing happened. _He was always there._

"Baka," she whispered, falling onto the bed beside him, "…I'm such an idiot."

Feeling the bed move, Ranma knit his brows together as he began to wake up. Hearing several quiet sobs, he quickly rose to his elbows, pausing when he caught sight of Akane's back pressed against him.

"H-hey, what're ya doin'?" he asked gently, turning toward her. "It ain't _that_ big of a deal that I'm in your bed, is it? I mean, if it _is,_ I'll get out."

"Don't go," she whispered, sucking in a sharp, involuntary breath.

"You okay?" he asked, leaning closer.

With a barely noticeable shake of her head she whispered, "Don't be stupid, I'm fine."

He let out a snort, "Fine, huh? So all the sniffling's just your way of saying 'Hi'?"

"It's because I was under the house," she answered with a quiver in her voice, "it was all dusty down there."

Holding up his clothes, she turned to him, "See? I got these for…you…"

The moment their eyes met her defenses crumbled, immediately wracking her body with several sobs.

"Stupid dust," she choked out, "must have gotten in my eyes, too."

"Akane," he whispered. Reaching out and taking her by the shoulders, he wrapped her up in a self-conscious hug. Holding her tighter as the tears grew worse, he didn't let go until her breathing had mostly evened out once more, her hands dropping his clothes as they circled around his waist. After several minutes had passed, she pulled back slightly and ran her fingers over the spot on his chest where her face had been.

"I'm sorry you saw that, and now you're all wet...I'm sorry."

Taking her face in his hands, he swiped under her eyes with his thumbs, "Quit bein' sorry, what's a little dust between friends?"

Pausing, she looked away with a smile, "No worse than a little nudity, hmm?"

"Yeah," he grinned, dipping his head to catch her eyes, "but one's a lot more fun, don't you think?"

"Idiot!" she laughed, smacking him in the arm before beginning to brush her tears from his chest with her palm. Feeling his hand come to rest over hers, she looked back up to find him staring down with a nearly crippling intensity.

"Ry-Ryoga?" she stammered.

Sucking in a breath, Ranma slid her hand from his skin, giving it a small squeeze before releasing his hold on her. Swallowing the emotions her touch had caused in him, he took several more breaths to calm his hormones before he dared to speak.

"So, uh, aside from all that dust, somethin' else on your mind, by chance?"

She tried to smile, "Just not sure about some things after finding out a little secret."

"Didn't look like it was all that little."

She looked away, clenching her jaw as her anger rekindled.

"Didn't think so," he mumbled, wanting so badly to reach out to her again but worried about where it would lead. Instead, he leaned back and folded his arms across his chest before asking, "You wanna talk about it?"

"You already kind of know."

"I do?"

She nodded.

Slowly her eyes found his, a deep sigh escaping her before she continued, "I found something out about someone that I, I…I just feel so stupid!"

Seeing her begin to slip away once more, he leaned forward with a fierce expression, "Want me to kill 'em?"

"What?" she asked, her tears frozen in place.

"Kill 'em." He started to grin, pounding his fist into his palm and grinding it in, "Just say the word, you know I could."

His goofy grin breaking through her misery, she began to smile back. "Can't let you do that, this time it's something that _I_ want to take care of _personally_."

"As long as it ain't me for a change, take care of it all ya want!" he chuckled, dropping onto his back beside her and completely missing the gleam that had lit in her eye.

"What do you mean," she asked as neutrally as she could muster, "I've never hit you, not even once."

"Yeah, right! Maybe if you mean you never _stop_ at one, but-" he laughed, suddenly grinding to a halt. Stealing a look out of the corner of his eye, he saw her staring back.

"Were you confusing yourself with Ranma, _again?" _she said with a half-sincere smile, cocking her head to the side.

"It's, uh, just that we're so _close_, an all. Real good friends. Makes me feel like I'm him, sometimes."

"Is that so?"

"Yep."

She stared at him, his reluctance to tell her the truth dropping him from the good favor he'd just won.

"Say, Ryoga?"

He cleared his throat, "Yeah?"

"Can I ask you a few things?"

"About what?" Ranma replied, the hair on the back of his neck beginning to prickle.

"About _you._"

He shrugged, "Sure, whatever."

"What's your favorite color? This way, if I make you something, it'll be something you like."

"Don't make me anything, Akane san."

She gave him a level stare. "Why? Is there something wrong with what I make?"

Throwing his hand over his mouth, he held back his first reply. Clearing his throat, he muttered, "It's 'cause I gotta carry everything all the time. The more stuff you give me, the less room I have for souvenirs for _you_."

He flashed her a smile that she didn't return.

"What's your favorite color…unless you don't know."

"Of course I know! It's, uh," he coughed, "that gross orangey-yellow-brown I always wear."

"_Gross?_ If it's gross, why wear it?" she smirked.

"It's for…camouflage."

"From what?"

"…Stuff."

"But you like it?"

He let out a small sigh, "Love it."

"Okay…so when's your birthday, Ryoga?"

"Pass."

She stifled a laugh, "What?"

"I choose ta pass on that question."

"You can't just _pass_ in a conversation, Ra-yyyoga."

He eyed her cautiously, not missing her slip. "I don't like talking about myself, I'm a modest kinda guy."

"So, if you're so modest, why were you naked in my room?"

"Already told you," he said with a wink, "sometimes it's just more fun."

Feeling her face growing hot, she turned away, "Bet you say that to all the girls."

Rolling onto his back, he stretched out beside her, "Only got one."

"Yeah, right!" she scoffed, turning his way. "If that's true, maybe you should let _her_ know!"

"…Thought I just did."

Her eyes locking on his, she watched with a small sense of satisfaction as his features lost their edge, his ego giving way to an air of uncertainty. Growing fidgety, he began to bounce his fingers off one another, "Uh, that is, I guess I'm tryin' ta say that I'm…I'm telling you now."

She lay down next to him, folding her hands over her stomach as her heart fluttered in her chest. "So the lucky girl, is _me?"_

"Do you really gotta make me say it twice?" he asked with a small whimper.

"Well, I need to be sure so that I can plan what I say next."

She swallowed a rising sense of dread at what she was about to do, at what she knew needed to be done to continue with Nabiki's plan. It was just that she enjoyed him like this, even if it couldn't lead anywhere because he wasn't supposed to _be_ him…which was most likely why anything was happening between them in the first place.

Rolling his head to the side, he tried to read her features, "What're ya trying to say?"

"Ranma."

"Yeah?" he answered automatically. Catching himself, he added, "Uh, what about him?"

Blushing furiously, Akane stared at the ceiling while mentally pep talking her courage up. '_It's the plan, it's just the plan, not the truth! Say it fast and deny it later!'_

"I, I love him."

Without a word he rose and began walking to the door. Sitting up, she stared for a moment before choking out, "What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna kill him."

Akane's mouth stumbled over itself as she attempted to find something to say, something that would soothe the fight out of him. Something simple and nice…

"Wait! I'm going to marry him soon!"

Turning slightly to glare at her over his shoulder, he yelled, "That's supposed to stop me?"

"Well, uh, don't go messing up his face! I need it for pictures!"

"_That's_ what you're worried about?" he gawked, clenching a fist. "Besides, you said Shampoo already did a number on him!"

"I did?" she asked thoughtfully, pulling her lips to the side. "I DID!" she suddenly burst out before her smile dropped, "That ass, maybe I should just let you…"

Looking back up from her thoughts, she shook her head.

"No. I mean, don't kill him, and I'll, maybe, do something else with you?"

He was turned fully around, now, his arms folded below a smug grin, "You asking me on another _date_, Akane?"

Meeting his challenge, she straightened her posture to its fullest and pursed her lips. Staring hard into his eyes, she chose her words carefully, "Maybe I am. Would that be something you'd be interested in doing…if I was asking?"

His grin curled up tighter, "You sure you're _allowed_, Miss I'm-marrying-someone-who-doesn't-trust-anything-I-do?"

"Oh, oh please!" she scoffed back. "Just look at us! Here I am sneaking off and asking to do it again, and _you_ mysteriously appear in my room _naked! _Honestly, maybe he _shouldn't_ trust me!"

The two regarded one another for a long moment before Ranma stepped forward and grabbed a pillow, covering his midsection, "My clothes, please."

Rolling her eyes, Akane lifted the bundle of clothes from the bed and tossed it into his hands. Mid-flight, however, something small and yellow and soft broke free, fluttering conspicuously to the ground between them.

"What's…that?" she asked quietly, noting something familiar about the mysterious object that Ranma was now throwing the pillow over.

"What's what, now? Here's your pillow back, so why don't you just turn around and we can get dressed without looking!"

Slipping her legs over the edge of the bed, Akane dropped to one knee and snatched the object from its hiding place, despite Ranma's efforts to maneuver the pillow to block her. With a gasp she realized that she was now holding a pair of her underwear…in plain view of the pervert who had them in the first place.

Shoving them back under the pillow, she looked up through her bangs at the culpable boy floundering before her, "These… _are_ _my_ _underwear_. Ryoga, you've got some 'splaining to do!"

Having the good sense to grimace, Ranma closed his eyes and uttered a silent prayer. Moments later it was answered with a small knock at the door.

"Akane," sang out Kasumi's voice, "may I come in?"

"WAIT!" the younger girl nearly shouted as she leapt to her feet. Shoving Ryoga's clothes further into Ranma's arms she whispered, "We need to be dressed before she comes in…and this is _far_ from finished!"

"Is everything all right?" Kasumi asked, a touch of concern lilting her voice.

"Yes, of course! Everything's fine," Akane rushed out, slipping on her pajama bottoms while still in her robe. Sneaking a peek over her shoulder, she saw Ranma fastening his pants closed, his back toward her. Taking in a deep breath, she dropped the robe and threw on her top, spinning around again to check that he'd kept his eyes averted while she did so. With satisfaction she watched him pull on his shirt, his eyes still pointed the opposite way. Letting out a small huff, she mentally denied that she was disappointed at his good behavior

Hearing the doorknob begin to turn, Akane sat on her bed and smiled sweetly, "You can come in, Neesan. Sorry for making you wait."

Stepping through the doorway, Kasumi pulled back as she saw Ranma, her eyes darting to her sister with concern. "Oh, Ryoga kun…was there something I was interrupting?"

"Please!" Akane scoffed. "Our good friend Ryoga, here, simply got lost and somehow managed to find himself in my room. Isn't that right, Ryoga?"

"Uh, yeah!" Ranma agreed enthusiastically. "I wasn't tryin' to break your rules, Kasumi san, I should probably just hurry up and leave, like you want."

"Not yet, you won't," Akane said with a menacing air.

Letting out a relieved breath, Kasumi threw a hand to her chest. "Oh good, you're only fighting."

"Lucky us," Ranma mumbled, trying hard to ignore the daggers Akane was currently staring into him.

"Well, if that's all, would you like something to eat before you run off?" the elder girl asked.

"I'd love it!" Ranma cheered, "I won't lie, I've been dreaming about your food, Kasumi san!"

She began to smile sweeter at the compliment, then she caught Akane's eye; ever so slightly she was shaking her head 'no'.

"Or we could…"

Akane gave her another look.

"_I_ could go?" Checking with a quick glance at her younger sister, she was happy to see she'd understood correctly. Smiling a bit warily from her position between the two teens, she took an opposite rout of escape, bending to lift the pillow from the floor.

"I don't want to leave a mess, so before I leave…" Pausing, she lifted the yellow undergarment of contention from its hiding place, "Akane? Leaving things like this lying around, and with a _boy_ in your room, no less!"

"Wait, no!" Akane struggled, attempting to keep her stone-cold exterior even as she was knocked back to being just a little sister. "That, that wasn't me!"

"Please, there's no need to lie," Kasumi sighed as she rose. Placing the pillow on the bed, she smiled, "After all, if it wasn't you, who else-"

She stopped as she realized the obvious conclusion to her half finished question. Turning slightly to face Ranma, she threw a hand to her chest.

"Again?" she gasped, "Really now!"

"_Again?_" Akane mumbled. "Again! _That's_ why you got kicked out?!"

"It's…it's not what it looks like!" Ranma choked, "I'm innocent! _Mostly_ innocent!"

"And what does _that_ mean?" Akane exclaimed.

"He's just showing a healthy interest in girls!" Kasumi tried to defend, wishing she'd caught her tongue before it had gotten to this point.

"And I'm just showing a healthy reaction to his interest!" Akane shouted back, mallet-in-hand.

"Wait a sec! Just let me get a chance to explain what's goin' on here," Ranma yelled, gripping the head of the mallet to stop her attack. Not letting her guard down, Akane clenched her teeth, "I'm listening…"

"Okay," he started, slowly, "those are 'cause of Happosai. I got em back from him on the roof before coming in here so they were still in my stuff, but not because I was tryin' ta keep them!"

Looking at Kasumi, he took a deep breath. "I got caught lookin' through your stuff, Akane, but it wasn't supposed to be your underwear! I swear it was for something else!"

"How wonderful!" Kasumi smiled, clasping her hands beneath her chin, "It was all just a misunderstanding, what a relief!"

Flashing Akane an unsure smile, he loosened his hold on the mallet. With a level gaze, she pulled back and swung down just beside him.

"You missed?!" he squeaked.

"I _avoided_," she corrected him, "THIS TIME." The mallet popping back out of existence, she turned away, "Don't go through my underwear drawer, _ever_."

Unable to leave victory in her hands, he stepped up behind her and whispered, "Some of them ain't half bad, maybe you can wear them on the next date you owe me!"

Going pink, she began to choke before hissing back, "You already used your freebie! Don't push it!"

"Is everything all right?" Kasumi asked, her eyes darting between them as they whispered back and forth.

"We are just _fine_, Kasumi san," he grinned evilly, brushing over the nape of her neck with his fingertips. With a visible shiver, Akane spun to push a finger into his chest, "Hands to yourself, _Ryoga, _I'm still engaged to Ranma, you know!"

"Ryoga?" Nabiki drolled from the doorway, "Are we still playing that little game, Sis?"

"Oh, you're home!" Kasumi exclaimed in surprise.

"Afraid so," the middle Tendo answered, examining her fingernails, "but I'm not the only one."

As the three stared at her questioningly, she looked up with a smirk. "Hope you're good at slipping out of windows, Ryoga, because our Little Miss' True Love is back from school early…and he brought his Mother."

"Why's that idiot-" Ranma started, gritting his teeth as he tried with less irritation in his voice. "Ain't he supposed to be in class?"

"I don't know if he ever made it," Nabiki answered calmly, sitting on the end of Akane's bed. "Hope his grades don't slip."

Seeing Ranma fall into her sister's web, Akane tried to calm him with reason.

"I can just tutor him, he'll be fine. He likes to study with me!"

Ranma's jaw clenched tighter.

"Not with me _alone_, just…"

She heard him let out a sigh.

"There's always summer school?"

Moving toward the door, he shook his head, "I think I'll just let him know I'm here, that should help."

"No!" Akane cried out, grabbing his arm. Looking at her hands, she quickly released him and stepped back. "Let me deal with him. I don't believe my sisters have any problems letting you stay here, but he will, and so will our dads."

Leaning closer with a blush, she whispered, "I don't want you to go."

Looking up with a smirk, Nabiki folded her arms. "Are you proposing a little game of cat-and-mouse? Well _there's_ something I've never done before, this could be interesting." Letting a smirk curl one corner of her mouth, she arched an eyebrow, "I'm in."

"Thanks?" Akane said warily, unsure of how to take her sister's offer of assistance.

"Kasumi and myself are both in," Nabiki continued, rising and moving toward the door, "and we'll start now. We'll stall Ranma and his mother for you, so do find yourself a nice little place to get cozy, Ryoga."

Watching Nabiki walk out, Kasumi spun to look back at the duo before following, "Just be sure it isn't in Akane's bedroom!"

"Neesan!" Akane gasped, waving her sister out of the room. Closing the door, she began to grow nervous at the thought of Nabiki alone with a plan and one of her future in-laws.

"Maybe I should go down there," she said as she spun around, "just to be safe."

"Could you do me a favor?" Ranma asked timidly, playing with the bandanna tie at the back of his head.

"What?" she asked slowly, wondering what he was thinking about. As of late, this was where he would say something embarrassing just to watch her squirm.

"Do you think you could, uh, make sure Ranma doesn't act stupid in front of his mom? I mean, he's been acting weird an all, and I know it's important to him, what she thinks and stuff. So-"

He stopped as Akane's finger pressed to his lips, "I'll be there, what could he _possibly_ do? Don't worry so much."

Letting out a sigh of relief, he took her hand in his and gave it a small squeeze, "Thanks, Akane."

Leaving the room, Akane leveled off a look at him as she warned, "Disappear…but let me know where you go."

"As you wish," he bowed, flashing her a wide, thankful grin.

Closing the door, she took a moment to lean her back against it and catch her breath. On the other side, Ranma did the same.

…

Looking up as Akane walked into the room, Ryoga's heart skipped a beat. She looked so beautiful in her pajamas, so natural, it was like getting a glimpse of their future. Beginning to get starry-eyed as he envisioned intimate mornings as husband and wife, he frowned as Nabiki spoke and dispelled the illusion.

"So I was curious as to how you ran into your mother, Ranma? Seems she was rather far from school," Nabiki asked, then sipped her tea, "and so were you."

Scratching the back of his head nervously, he let out an irritated chuckle. "As I explained to my mother, I was busy with extracurricular activities at the time."

She took another sip, then placed the cup on the table, "What kind?"

"The kind that took me to where I was," he answered with less patience.

"Interesting."

"Am I interrupting?" Akane asked after a moment's hesitation, sitting across the table from her ersatz fiancé.

"Never!" Ryoga beamed at her. Giving him a leery glance, Akane turned to her sister, "Where's Kasumi and Auntie?"

"Waking up our dearest Daddy," Nabiki leaned toward Ryoga, "and yours, too. We have to tell them the big news together, after all."

Feeling a chill of panic creep up her spine, Akane looked at the lost boy, who was looking like he'd rather have been a bit _more _lost at the moment. Facing her sister once more, she cleared her throat and asked, "_What_ news?"

"Oh Akane, didn't you hear?" Nabiki purred, "Ranma and I are in love."

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: So so sorry for my tremendous lag time on this one! Aside from the holidays and some birthday fun for my daughter and nephews, I sat down to look at this and decided to change it all! Yep, 19 pages down the tubes!_**

**_I like the rewrite better, obviously, it's smoother flowing and allows me to play with Akane and Ranma knowing/NOT knowing a bit longer. The first go at it revealed all a bit too fast, so I hope you like this version as much as I did! _**

**_Drop me a review and let me know!_**

**_NEXT TIME: COOKING FOR TROUBLE_**

**_XXX-THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS, EVERYBODY! HAPPY NEW YEAR!-XXX_**


	8. Cooking for Trouble

**_Our Story Thus Far:_**

**_Ryoga got his hands on a soul-swapping jewel,_**

**_And now's engaged to Akane, for which he drooled._**

**_But Ranma's not out and down for the count,_**

**_And Akane's not foolish, (she's figured them out!)_**

**_So read on, my friends, read on and see,_**

**_What can become of this tomfoolery!_**

**_(And hopefully you've liked my poetic summery!)_**

* * *

><p><strong>Opposite Attraction<strong>

**Disclaimer: Writing this story, alas, is sweet sorrow,**

** and perhaps I'll get paid upon the morrow.**

** But not for this, I am afraid,**

** for Fan Fiction is something for which**

** you do not get paid.**

**Chapter 8: Cooking for Trouble**

* * *

><p>Many things could be said about the Tendo Sisters, but as far as individuality went they towed the line. However, they also shared many traits as a family: Well trained in their respective rolls, able to easily adapt, shared a lineage, had a nice house.<p>

But all that aside, they were still sisters, and sometimes siblings just find themselves wondering how they could possibly have come from the same parents.

Akane was having one of those moments now.

"What do you _mean_ you're in love?" For a second she swore she'd blacked out, then wished she actually had. "How…no. No, no-no. You're lying, right? You have to be!"

"How can you call love a lie?" Nabiki ran a finger across Ryoga's cheek, "This is true love, I'm afraid."

"_This_ wasn't what we agreed to! What was this, all just one of your elaborate games again? Pass the time making your poor, naive sister actually believe you were doing something for someone else without making a profit off of it?"

"Ah, Akane," Nabiki nearly taunted, "you know what they say about love and war, all's fair."

"I swear to you, Akane san, I think she's lying!" Ryoga rushed out, reaching across the table for Akane's hand. She pulled away long before he had the chance to touch her.

"You _think_ she's lying, that's your defense?" she breathed, sure that if she spoke any louder she would start to scream.

"Akane chan, it's so good to see that you're up and about!" came Nodoka's voice, followed by a chorus of protests from the two fathers who clearly would have rather still been sleeping. Watching them take their seats, Akane poured herself a cup of tea in hopes that it would take the bad taste out of her mouth.

Settling at the head of the table, Soun took a long drag from a cigarette before surveying his daughters' faces.

"So what news couldn't wait?" he asked bluntly, the wear of drinking heavily for the past several nights showing clearly around his eyes as he brought the cigarette to his lips once more.

"Should I tell them or you?" Nabiki cooed at Ryoga, her phasers set to 'demure'. Seeing his inability to form a coherent sound, she clutched his arm and turned to the adults with a glowing smile. "Ranma's decided to call off his engagement to Akane."

The two men began to grow noticeably agitated before she held up a finger, "He's decided to try out more of his options before choosing which sister he marries, and that includes _me_. We're in love."

Genma opened his mouth, then closed it again. Looking over to Soun, they seemed to have a silent conversation before he turned back to Nabiki.

"I don't believe it would be shocking to hear that we're a bit surprised by the news, but I suppose there's not much to debate being that our wish for the families' union would still be fulfilled, one way or the other."

Soun gave a small nod before Nabiki turned to smile at Ryoga.

Akane looked from one face to the other in disbelief, her tolerance level reaching its maximum.

"That's it?" she blurted out.

Soun let out a tired sigh, "Akane, please-"

She slammed her cup on the table, "No, Daddy, I believe you mean _you're welcome! You're welcome _for being dumb enough to have gotten talked into this mess in the first place! Not to worry, I'm sure everything will be just fine since I'm apparently so easy to _replace!_"

"Really, Akane, you haven't been replaced _yet, _think of this as a trial separation," Nabiki said casually, an evil glint lighting her eye, "with benefits! Don't get so worked up over this or you'll cause yourself to relapse. Can you just _imagine it, _Dear? My poor, innocent sister, all unconscious and defenseless in a bed…we wouldn't want that to happen _again,_ now would we, Ranma_?"_

Feeling his cheeks begin to flush with guilt, Ryoga dropped his eyes to the floor. Seeing a pair of feet come to a stop beside him, he lifted his gaze up to meet Akane's.

"You, you _believe _me?" he asked hopefully. In answer she smacked him clean across the face.

"_That…_that was for ALL of your stupid secrets!"

His vision rattled, he squeezed his eyes shut while the ringing in his ears hit a fever pitch.

"I will_ never _believe you, ever again," Akane said quietly, then walked out of the room.

"You best clean that up before the wedding, son," Soun warned, "I'm not going to pay for one ceremony three times."

Kasumi and Nodoka slowly turned to Nabiki with a matching set of raised eyebrows. Giving a small grin, she shrugged.

"Seems she's a little excited over nothing, I did say this was just a trial period, after all."

Kasumi blinked, feeling very much out of the loop as of the past few minutes.

"I, I believe you may have a point," Nodoka said with caution, unsure what to make of her possible new daughter-in-law.

Leaning closer, Nabiki rested both elbows on the table as she folded her hands between herself and the older woman, "Whatever can we do? I certainly don't want it to seem as if I'm trying to _steal_ Ranma away from her, she is my sister, after all."

"What are you proposing?"

Nabiki grinned wider, "A contest. A _cooking_ contest."

Kasumi gasped, "But Akane can't-"

"She can't resist a competition," Nabiki cut in. "This will help thin out those extra fiancé's you have lying around," she said with a wink at Ryoga, "then the _real _fun can begin. Well, I have to be off now to arrange…" she twirled her hand in the air, "things."

Rising from the table, she gave a quick wave to the Saotomes, "A pleasure seeing you again." Turning her sites to Ryoga, she blew a kiss, "And as for _you, w_e can start testing our compatibility tonight."

Blushing furiously, Ryoga pulled his head as far into his collar as was humanly possible, feeling the weight of the collective stares settle their judgment on him. Everything had spun past in a blur, Nabiki's words catching him completely off guard as she'd somehow turned a conversation about his day skipping school into a possible engagement. For all he knew, she'd sold him the Brooklyn Bridge and a time share somewhere in the mix! She'd been so convincing that she and Ranma had been secretly in love that he hadn't been able to form a convincing argument to the contrary, especially as ill-informed of Ranma's life as he was.

Not to mention that anything he could use to make Ranma look bad was a bonus, it had become something of a hobby of his. Summoning the courage to look up, he cleared his throat and began to mutter, "Look, please, about the engagement…"

"As long as you're happy," Genma suddenly boomed, linking an arm over Soun's shoulders, "at least _this_ girl's on the same page as us!"

Soun took a drag from his cigarette before snubbing it out, "True enough, old friend. If there's anyone who can get something done, it's Nabiki. I must say, after the last few years, I don't know how much fight I had left in me! Perhaps this _will be_ the wiser move."

"A daughter's a daughter, I always say!"

"I wouldn't go quite _that_ far, now…"

With a look of rarely seen defiance, Kasumi turned their way, "But Father, what about Akane?"

"She was always denying that she had any feelings for him while she _was_ engaged," Soun answered. "This is a possible way out, aren't we just giving her what she wants?"

Kasumi's grip tightened on the hem of her apron, "I wonder if it is."

…

Upstairs, Akane burst through her door, "Where are you?!"

Snuggled in a corner of her closet, Ranma looked up from a book he'd found and called out a brief, "Yo."

"You!" she yelled, throwing open the door. "First of all, Kasumi said not to hide in my room."

"Right," he answered slowly, motioning around himself with upturned palms. "It ain't your room, it's your closet."

She rolled her eyes with a huff, then climbed in, gently shutting the door behind herself.

"Tell me what you know about Ranma and my sister."

He shifted positions to give her more space, "Him and Kasumi?"

"Unh uh," she said with a frown, "Nabiki."

"Why, does he owe her money?" he chuckled. Seeing her lack of amusement, he dropped his smile, "Wait, are you being serious?"

"You don't know anything?" she asked carefully, staring hard into his eyes. Seeing nothing but confusion, she began to relax.

"Look, Akane, I don't know what this is all about, but Nabiki is the _last _thing on Ranma's mind. Trust me on this."

Her cheeks tugged up with a small smile, "I do. Trust you, that is."

He settled back, bobbing his head around several shirts hanging above him. "Uh, good."

Suddenly Akane perked up, reaching out through the crack in the door to hit the closet light switch off. Settling beside him, she clamped a hand over his mouth and quietly hissed out a quick, "Shh!"

A moment later he heard Nabiki calling for Akane, the bedroom door swinging open to an empty room.

"Akane…wherever did you run off to now?"

As her feet padded back out of the room, Ranma took hold of Akane's wrist, pulling her hand from his lips, "Wanna tell me what this is about?"

Looking sheepish, she gave a forced smile, "Not really."

"Akane…"

Locking her fingers with his, she spun on him and whispered harshly, "Let's go on our date, right now!"

"Isn't it a little early ta-"

"_Right now_, please?"

He stared up into her face, her eyes begging him to the point of no return, not that there was really an argument one could make between going on a date or hiding in a closet.

"Okay," he breathed as if he were being put upon, "where're we goin'?"

"I…don't know. Does it matter?" She squeezed his hand harder, "Anywhere but here."

He raised an eyebrow, "Popular place, sure we'll get in?"

"Don't worry, I called ahead."

Curling his fingers around hers, he returned her gesture. "I'll go, but I gotta say it feels like you're running from something."

"Let's not ruin the night with all of this crazy _talking!" _Turning her gaze above their heads, she began piecing through her clothes, "Come on, help me pick out something to wear."

Looking up thoughtfully, he pulled on a red shirt, "This should match pretty well."

"Match?" she asked in bewilderment, "Match what?"

"Those underwear I said I liked, they were the red ones," he grinned from around the sleeve, "the one's hidden in the back of your drawer. You _know_ what I'm talkin' about."

"Wha- uh, no! How did you, you saw…?" she sputtered, going through several vowel sounds before her voice trickled out. Grabbing the shirt from his hands, she stood and pushed the closet door open.

"I'm getting dressed now, I trust you'll be a gentleman and not peek?"

He pulled back with a scoff, "I ain't gonna try an' look at'cha, Akane, don't worry."

"Of course," she murmured with a hint of, was that _disappointment _he heard?

In conspicuously plain-view of the closet, she began to tug on the waistband of her pajama bottoms, pulling them over her hips just low enough to reveal that she was, in fact, already wearing the panties in question. With a coy look over her shoulder she paused, catching his eyes on her.

"I thought you were being a gentleman?"

Blinking several times, he came partly to his senses and closed his gaping mouth.

"I, uh, I…I _am_," he stammered, his eyes reluctantly pulling themselves above her waistline. Not trusting himself to _not_ peek, he turned and pressed his back to the inside wall, safely away from view of the doorway.

A few moments later, she called out, "They _do _match, good eye."

"Yeah, no problem," he groaned, physically feeling the effects of her turnaround. Ever since she'd figured him out, his games weren't nearly as fun as they'd been. But she was denying that she knew, to him at least, so he could still play the fool too. In fact, her attempts to flip everything around could, in turn, be flipped on her if he wanted to. Then he'd be the flipper, and thus victorious!

Or something like that, he simply needed to work out the kinks.

Unfortunately for him, the biggest 'kink' was understanding the whole situation in the first place. He sat pondering this for a lengthy moment, his train of thought having long ago left him at the previous station.

"Screw it, I know the gist of it!" he muttered under his breath, clenching a fist in his hair, "And I ain't letting her win!"

As he gathered his convictions, he heard her call out in a timid voice, "So, how do I look?"

A vengeful grin glinting in his eye, he spun around the doorway with a mouthful of indifference to unleash upon Akane…

…Akane who was dressed in the red shirt he'd suggested and a pair of dark jeans, two things he'd never seen her wear before. The outfit looked casual and classy at the same time, hugging her curves in just the right way as to not seem intentionally flashy while making her figure hard to ignore. The shirt was lower cut than it had looked on the hanger, a lacey 'V' accentuating the cleavage he hadn't noticed she had. And under it all, he knew, were the red panties.

But he couldn't think about that now, he was being aloof, dammit!

"I, uh, I didn't know you had jeans," he struggled out, clumsily folding his arms and leaning against the closet door while managing to appear anything but indifferent.

She looked down at herself with a slight blush. "I just got them, but, I don't know, do they look all right? It's not what I'd usually wear, maybe I should just change."

"No! They look great," he said automatically, his eyes going wide as he realized he had complimented her. Scrambling to lessen the flattery in his words, he rushed out, "Not _great._ I mean, you know, like jeans. Good, umm, blue color. They button up nice on ya."

Lifting her gaze back to his, she looked quizzically at him through her bangs. "Thanks, I think?"

"Sure thing there, uh, buddy." Smiling uncomfortably, he added, "So, by the way, do ya got a hat or something I can borrow to kinda hide me? Don't want someone seeing _us_ together and thinking you switched guys, especially since you're all into getting married an' all. To Ranma. Who's the better choice."

She noted with some satisfaction that his tone had gotten markedly less sincere sounding around the marriage part.

"Yeah, well, don't worry about _that _right now, okay?" she answered, a flash of emotion flitting across her features unreadably. "We can talk about that mess later. Let's just get going, while the afternoon's still young! Here," she said, shoving a black knit cap into his hands, "This should fit you."

"How'd you know…?" he asked, noting that she'd already been holding the hat before he'd noticed, much less asked for it.

"I was going to give it to you," she said with an indifferent shake of her head. "Before you were allowed inside, I sort of made it for you so you wouldn't, you know, _die_ of exposure or something."

He started to grin, "Don't want me _dying_, Akane? Sounds so sweet when you put it like that, almost thought you cared for a minute."

"I did too," she smirked, giving him a light punch on the shoulder, "but just for a minute."

Pulling the hat onto his head, he noted that this time it wasn't nearly as shoddy as the last; she'd taken her time and it showed. The yarn was ridiculously soft, almost satiny, and the stitch was tight and thick, especially around the lower half that covered his ears. Running his fingers over it as he tugged it into place, he could hardly believe _she'd_ made it.

"Akane, this is-"

"I know," she cut in, "I'm not the best at these sort of things. It's bamboo yarn, or something." She rolled her eyes and shrugged, "The sales clerk said it was nice, so…"

He smiled, passing the edge through his fingers. "I ain't gonna say I'm not impressed, especially since it was made by _you_!"

She blinked twice, "Meaning _what_, exactly?"

He threw a few playful jabs in the air, his grin wide enough to expose both fangs. "Let's just say this don't exactly match the mittens ya made me."

At the mention of her previous and purposeful failure, she started to giggle, throwing a hand over her mouth. "I guess not much _does_ match those mittens, hmm?"

"Not if someone wants ta actually _wear_ it," he joked back.

Reaching up, she readjusted it on his head and grinned wider, "Maybe it'll help keep your brain warm enough to actually use it."

"Ha ha," he deadpanned dryly, laying a hand on her head. "So where's yours? Oh wait, guess you don't need one 'cause you're always so _hot headed!"_

She mock-laughed back, then her features softened.

Falling into a companionable silence, their eyes lingered on each other's as they grinned away. Without thought they began to lean closer, the mood imperceptibly shifting to something warmer than a new hat. A heartbeat later and Ranma found himself mesmerized by the way Akane's tongue flicked out to run over her lips, his smile dropping along with his jaw.

"Are you ready to go?" she asked quietly, her cheeks flushing as she ducked out from under his palm.

Looking down he grimaced. "Yeah, guess I am. I'm sort of a one-trick-pony in the wardrobe department, hope ya don't mind."

"Do you want me to get you a different shirt at least? I'm sure you'll fit into one of Ranma's."

He scratched the side of his head, "You don't think it would be weird if I was wearing your fiancé's stuff?"

Giving a slow blink, Akane locked him in place with a look that was so strong he could have felt it if his eyes had been closed. "I don't think it would be weird at all if you looked like my fiancé."

Swallowing an audible gulp, he began to blush. Dropping his eyes he asked softly, "Wanna get me a red one then, so we can match?"

Giving a quick nod, she slipped from the room.

…

Lying on his back on the roof, Ryoga passed a hand over his face. Why did his plans always have a way of backfiring on him, was it just his destiny to be unhappy? And tonight, did he actually have a date with _Nabiki?_

"Maybe I should just give up and switch back," he grumbled. Throwing his head back, he let out a low moan.

Then he heard something from the other side of the roof, something like a shoe slipping on a window ledge followed by muffled laughter. Crawling across the peak, he lay on his stomach and slid to get a glimpse over the edge.

Below him was Ranma, hanging by one arm while holding Akane tightly in the other. She was giggling with a hand over her mouth while clutching onto him.

"D'ya always gotta be a klutz?" he whispered lightheartedly, beginning to descend with her still in his arms.

"I'm not a klutz, jerk!" she laughed back, giving him a gentle smack, "It's the shoes."

"So why'd you wear 'em?"

"You know why…they match."

"Seems like _everything_ you got on matches."

He waggled his eyebrows while Akane blushed crimson.

"If you'd been a gentleman, you wouldn't _know_ what color my underwear were!"

Craning to hear better as their voices trailed off, Ryoga watched them quietly slip out of the yard and onto the street. Muttering a curse, he started after them.

…

Looking down at his arm, currently linked with Akane's, Ranma was beginning to feel the guilt piling on him. She was being so nice, and she looked so cute, and they weren't even _fighting_. He began to see a major flaw in his plan of beating her in whatever game he believed they were playing, and it was only getting worse as the evening continued.

"Ooh, look!" she cried in delight, pulling him along as she rushed to a store window, "Aren't they cute?"

His eyes sticking to her as she bent over to tap on the glass, he absently answered with a soft, "Yeah…cute."

Turning slowly, Akane looked at him, "You really think so?"

"The longer I look, the cuter it gets," he said with a sigh.

She stood as she turned to face him, throwing a thumb over her shoulder, "You like pigs, too, Ryoga?"

His eyes dropping instantly, he stared at the window. Gathered in a corral were several little incarnations of his current curse and long-time rival.

'_P-Chan!'_

Shaking off a chill at the memory of being trapped in that tiny body, he placed a hand on her shoulder, "I…_love_ pigs, Akane."

"You do?" she laughed, pursing her lips to the side.

"Sure do!" he smiled brightly. "I love 'em in dumplings, pork buns, tonkatsu, bacon," he licked his lips for emphasis, "_love 'em!"_

Akane remained frozen, save for her mouth which was having a tough time choosing which words to say. Finally she shook her head, "You're disgusting."

"What?" he laughed, trotting up beside her as she walked away. "You can't even _try_ ta say you don't eat pork."

"That's not really the point," she snorted.

"What's the big deal? A meal's a meal, Akane."

"I don't like to think about my pet as a meal, Ryoga. After Shampoo nearly killed him for lunch, I feel it's kind of a touchy subject!"

He started to grin at the punishment Ryoga had received that day, then felt his stomach twist at the realization of how helpless P-Chan's form was. Maybe Ryoga actually did have a small claim to being as angry and miserable as he was.

"Alright, alright, sorry. I ain't trying ta ruin today, or nothing."

She slowed to a halt and turned to him. "Good, because I wanted to have Korean barbeque."

He blinked. "Don't tell me you want the pork?"

She shrugged her affirmation and began walking again.

"Ain't that a bit hypocritical, Akane san?"

"Hey," she answered, "I never said I didn't like pigs."

A short while later they sat opposite one another in a small booth, a miniature grill set between them.

"Ah, man it smells good in here!" Ranma sighed, thumping his fingers impatiently off the table as the waiter set out a tray of things to cook. "If you need any assistance," he said with a deep bow, "please do not hesitate to let me know."

"Don't worry 'bout us!" Ranma answered, "I'm used to cooking for myself."

Akane smiled politely as she waited for them to be alone, then let a crooked grin touch her lips.

"You know what would be sweet, since we're on a _date_ and all?"

"Hmmm, what?" he replied, nearly drooling as he placed a second strip of meat to sizzle beside the first.

"I was thinking it would be cute if we cooked for each other," she crooned, blinking coyly at him. Before he could ready his response, she added, "You _do_ still like my cooking, don't you, Ryoga?"

His eyes falling to his food with a deep longing, he swallowed back a tear.

"Sounds like a cute thing ta do on a date. Real cute."

She smiled her sweetest smile, then lifted a lettuce leaf from its bowl and placed it on the grill next to his meat.

"What're ya doing?" he asked evenly, already giving up to the inevitable indigestion he'd have later that night. If he made it that long.

"I wanted _yours_ to be extra special, so I'm heating your leaf."

"Akane. You don't cook the lettuce."

She pursed her lips, "I decided to do something new in order for it to be _special."_

"Get the leaf off the grill."

"Just leave it alone, maybe I'm onto something."

Letting out a sigh, he lifted his chopsticks, "You ain't _on_ to anything, baka. It's gonna wilt."

"I said leave it and see what happens," she replied through a forced smile, blocking his chopsticks with her own.

"I don't want ta put my meat in your wilted leaf! And it certainly ain't going into my mouth so take it off!" With that he made another attempt to reach the grill with his chopsticks, again being swiftly blocked by Akane's. Sucking in a deep breath, he lunged, growing serious as the rescue mission became more dire.

"You should be _happy_ I even _want_ your meat anywhere _near_ my leaf!" she shouted back.

Locked in battle, the two stole fleeting glances over the skirmish at one another, both trying hard not to let their grins break through.

"You know," Ranma began, his hands moving at a painfully normal speed in comparison to what he was used to, "you're kinda sexy when you fight."

As his tactic succeeded in making her pause for just a moment, he flipped the lettuce from the grill.

"There," he said in triumph, "and don't go puttin' another on…hey!"

Akane, using the moment he thought he'd gained, had snatched up his cooked slices of pork and was currently adding various vegetables and sauces before wrapping it up in a fresh piece of lettuce for herself. Taking a big bite, she was sure to exaggerate how good it tasted while she chewed.

"That was supposed ta be mine," he grumbled, placing several more slices of meat on the grill.

"Oh, cheer up!" she said happily, shoving the last of her lettuce wrap into her mouth. "Oh, mmmmmm! You should have tasted that. Soooo good!"

Looking down at the just-beginning-to-cook pork, she shook her head. "It's a shame you'll have to wait. Here," she snatched the wilted leaf from beside his plate, where he'd place it in hopes that the waiter would take it away as trash. "I'll make you up one with some vegetables and sprouts…ooh, and lots of this! And a few of these sauces…"

He watched her ruin the nearly unruinable with a deepening sense of resignation to digestive problems, so deep it was nearly a nirvana of dyspepsia.

"Say 'aah'!" she said in a voice that could have peeled the paint off the walls. Obediently he obliged as she began to feed him her little creation.

Closing his mouth his lips brushed over her fingers, their eyes instantly meeting as they touched. Letting her hand linger, she brushed a fingertip over a nonexistent piece of food that didn't need to be wiped from below his lip.

"Got it," she lied, a soft blush painting her cheeks.

Taking a moment to regain neural functions, he stuttered as he reached for his cup of water to wash the 'food' down, _ice_ water, and succeeded in tipping it over into his lap. Watching him shrink, Akane stared for an incredulous second before planting her chin in her palm.

"Oh, _my_…wherever could you have gotten off to, Ryoga?" she mocked. "It's not like there's any kind of _big secret _you've been keeping from me, or anything."

Peeking slowly up over the edge of the table, Ranma/P-Chan gave her the best he could do in the innocent-looks department.

"Please!" she huffed, "I'm not stupid, you know!"

He rolled his eyes, then thought better of it when she began to lean forward.

"Are you honestly trying to say I _am?_" she nearly choked out. "I think you've got something wrong with you, Ranma!"

At the sound of his name, his head snapped up in triumph. Pointing a tiny, accusatory hoof at her, he began to shout how he _knew_ she'd known, how he also knew she'd slip up and admit it before he did, making him the victor!

"So _what_ if I know who you are, you liar! You're lucky I'm even here with you at all after all the nonsense you've put me through!" she shouted back.

All this, of course, sounded like a pig screaming away at the top of it's little lungs, a rather disconcerting thing in a restaurant that served pork, and a girl having an argument with her soon-to-be dinner. As they began to gather stares from nearby patrons, the waiter revisited the table.

"Excuse me-"

"WHAT?" the two warring factions shouted in unison.

Blinking several times in shock, he cleared his throat, "I, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. And, uh…" he looked in Ranma's direction, utterly at a loss for words.

"You're kicking us out?" Akane balked, "_Why?"_

"Wh-why?" The waiter looked from one to the other, "Really?"

Akane sat for a loaded moment, then shook her head in disgust.

"Fine, I'll go." Rising, she gave a curt bow and began to leave.

"The bill, ma'am?"

With a heavy sigh, she found Ryoga's wallet and fished out some bills, "This enough?" He nodded, Akane brushing past as she walked to the door.

Behind her she heard the waiter clear his throat, "Uh, miss…"

Spinning, she shot an angry glare Ranma's way, then let out a huff. "Don't worry, I wasn't leaving him. The little swine follows me everywhere."

Collecting the bundle of clothes he'd been wearing, she turned and left, P-Chan following grudgingly behind.

"I don't believe they kicked us out!" she complained, Ranma grunting in agreement. "It wasn't even that big of an argument!"

"Bwee bwee!"

"Right? Honestly! Some people just need to take the…" Trailing off, she began to notice that she was getting stared at by random strangers, quickly realizing that having a conversation with a pig was probably putting her pretty high up on the crazy list.

"Let's get you some hot water before they lock me up for talking to you."

Giving a quick look around, Ranma began to chuckle under his breath at her predicament, nearly giving-in to the urge to start another argument just to see what would happen.

Stepping inside a clothes store after buying a cup of hot tea from a vending machine outside, Akane asked to try on a shirt. Thanking the saleswoman as she unlocked a fitting room door, she stepped aside for Ranma to prance in.

"What a cute pig!" the woman cried, bending to touch him.

"He bites," Akane replied casually, moving past. As the door closed behind her, Ranma flashed a toothy smile, winked, then scurried underneath.

Left frozen with an outstretched hand, the clerk rose, shook her head, and walked back to the sales counter feeling the need for a break.

Inside the changing room Akane tossed Ranma's clothes onto the small stool in the corner, then covered her eyes.

"Hurry up and change back," she whispered, holding out the styrofoam teacup.

Leaping up, he kicked a hole in the bottom of the cup with his hoof and landed, naked and human, in a crouch on the floor.

"I came back," he said with a deep Austrian accent.

"Put your clothes on, already!" Akane hissed. Feeling him stand behind her, she became acutely aware of just how small a space they were currently occupying. Then something brushed over her hip.

"That better have been your hand," she half asked, half squeaked, trying desperately to justify a reason to 'accidentally' peek through her fingers at their reflection in the mirror.

"Sorry," came his quiet, non-reassuring reply.

"If, if it wasn't your hand…what was it?"

"Said 'sorry', didn't I?"

Her eyes shot open. "Wait a second here, was or wasn't that…a…uh…"

Watching his muscles work under the skin of his back, she followed them down until they disappeared into the waist of his pants as he fastened them.

"A _what?_" he asked, she slowly noted, for the second time. Transfixed, she stared as he turned in seemingly slow motion, meeting her eyes in the mirror. Slipping his shirt over his head, he tried again, "Akane, a WHAT?"

She twisted to face him, neither able to move more than a few inches from the other, and cocked her head to the side, "What are we...talking about?"

Pressing his back to the wall, he looked down at her and felt the words die on his tongue. "We were talkin'?"

She began to lean forward, Ranma closing his eyes as she grew nearer, her breath invitingly sweet as it touched his skin. A moment later and he heard a sharp click as the door's lock slid open.

"We shouldn't be… it's small in, in a fitting room," Akane said quietly, opening the door and stepping past him with her eyes on the ground.

"I, uh…guess your right," he tried to agree.

Laying the shirt she'd supposedly tried on down on the counter, Akane gave a quick nod to the saleswoman who'd helped her.

"That was a bit too, uh, tight a fit. Come on, Ranma."

Giving a polite smile, the woman looked behind Akane expecting to see the small, black piglet from earlier. Her eyes landing on his feet, she followed them up to Ranma's face. He gave her another wink.

She stared after them in confusion as they left. Lifting the shirt, it began to drip tea onto the counter.

"That's it," she muttered, grabbed her coat and walked out the door.

…

From the shadows Ryoga watched the couple, following their every move. He'd waited outside the restaurant for such a long time before they emerged, Akane's arm laced through her companion's.

It made him sick.

It also made him lost as it wasn't them he was following. Tricked by his own curse, he'd been watching for a couple, not a human and a piglet, and therefore had missed Akane leaving with his tiny alter ego.

Not yet noticing that he was hot on the trail of a pair of strangers, Ryoga stared incredulously as they walked into a park and settled themselves on a secluded bench.

'_Not my innocent Akane!'_ he tried to reassure himself, but it was too late as his eyes began to witness the unthinkable; Akane willingly and _passionately_ giving in to Ranma's advances.

"How _could_ you!" he bellowed, leaping from a tree to land before the couple. "I know you must be mad that I'm engaged to your sister now, but I was engaged to YOU first!"

Taking her hand into his, he pressed it to his chest as he dropped to his knees at her feet. "Please, don't throw away our feelings for one another, all that we had, what we've been through…Akane?"

Squinting in the shadows he brought the face before him into focus, realizing that she was obviously not the person he thought she was. Pointing at her, he smiled and turned to her date, "Huh. The funniest thing just happened-"

A moment later and he had a fist planted in his cheek.

"I ain't laughing," the girl's date said through gritted teeth, "so why don't you get off of her and get the hell out of here." Ryoga stared at them for a moment, debating a retaliating attack but deciding against it. He _had_ ruined their date, after all. Releasing his hold on the girl's hand, he stood.

"I see how you must feel, but please understand that I wasn't intentionally watching you. I thought you were someone else."

"PERVERT!" the girl cried, slapping him across the other cheek, "You were _watching us?"_

His eyes going wide, Ryoga lay a hand over his freshly slapped and punched face. "_Why_ do you people keep hitting me?"

"Get outta here unless you want MORE!" the boyfriend began to shout, rising to his feet.

"Alright, already," Ryoga muttered, "it wasn't like I was trying to see _you_ do anything." Turning back to the girl he added, "You should really be more discreet, though, this is a public space."

Setting her jaw, she slapped him again.

"Ow! Ow, _why?_ Why must I suffer like this?"

"Just _leave!" _the couple shouted in unison, hoping he'd finally get the hint.

"You're right," he said suddenly, punching his fist into his palm.

"We are?" the girl asked warily, her boyfriend stepping further between Ryoga and his date.

"Yes! The more time I waste here, the more time _they_ have to be alone! Thank you, strangers, you've helped me find my way in an otherwise tumultuous life."

Bowing deeply, he turned and ran off.

…

"So I know that you knew that I knew it was you," Akane began, "but how did you know?"

Ranma stared at her with a lopsided grin, "Want some green eggs and ham ta go with that question?"

"Shuddup!" she grinned, bumping her shoulder into him as they walked down the street, "How did you find out?"

"You told me yourself, baka!" he laughed, "You really don't remember whatcha said that night?"

Trying hard to recall anything incriminating that may have slipped from her lips while she'd had a fever, she stumbled over her next step. Catching herself on his arm, she stared incredulously at her own which was linked through his.

'_When did we start doing this?'_ she thought with a blush, her eyes going wide as they stared at her companion. Feeling the silence between them grow strained, he turned his gaze her way, meeting her worried one in the process. Slowing their pace, he moved off to a small alcove and dipped his head nearer to hers, pressing his cheek to her forehead.

"You alright? You don't still got a fever or nothing, do you?"

Frozen in place as she stared at his jaw line, she felt her heart begin to flutter before pushing him away.

"What are you doing, I'm fine!" she tried to say defiantly, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear to emphasize the point. Stepping back out onto the sidewalk, she took two steps away from him before his hand found her shoulder. Matching her stride, he settled in beside her with a cocky grin.

"You _do_ remember what you said, don't you! You don't gotta be embarrassed, Akane."

'_What did I SAY?'_ she thought desperately, wracking her brain for her missing memories. Unable to come up with anything new, she set her jaw and shot him a look, "I don't have anything to BE embarrassed about, thank you very much. And, and what's with _this?_" She poked his hand with her index finger, flicking it off her shoulder. "I don't believe we're dating so…this is confusing me. As usual. Why can't you ever just be _honest_ with me?!"

He stopped walking and watched her back as she continued on without him, wanting so badly for her to stop and look back at what she was trying so hard to leave behind. But no matter how much he stared after her, wishing for her to turn around, she didn't. Letting out a deep sigh, he closed his eyes; they were going back to normal. Back to hiding how they felt no matter how much it ate at their insides, pretending they didn't care even as their hearts leapt in their chests at the mere sound of the other ones voice. And it was only fair because everything that had happened had been because of the lies he'd told her. Everything was his fault.

He dropped his head, squeezing his eyes tighter as he balled his fists. Why did she need to hear his clumsy words to understand? Couldn't she see-

"Drop something?"

His eyes shot open. Crouched on the ground before him was Akane, staring up with her chin in her palm.

"Akane…" he breathed. She smiled.

"You looked like you lost something."

"I thought I did," he said quietly.

"You know, sometimes it's not that its lost, but that you haven't looked hard enough to see that you already have it." She rose beside him, linking her arm back through his, "Come on, we haven't finished our date yet."

"We haven't started it yet!" he laughed, reveling in the way she felt on his arm. Hearing her giggle, a shiver ran pleasantly up his spine.

"That's true, so what do you want to do?"

"Well, you blew all my spendin' money on the Korean Barbeque we didn't eat. Got any plans to pay for something else we ain't gonna do?"

'_With you there's lot's of things I don't get to do that I pay for,' _she thought a little sourly. Out loud she just shrugged, "We still need to eat."

"My budget says McDonald's," he replied apologetically, "I know it ain't exactly a dream date."

"At least we can talk," she said helpfully, squeezing his arm. "Being together without anyone trying to attack us feels nice, doesn't it?"

"Like a dream," he said in an exaggerated voice, throwing his free hand to his chest.

She shook her head, "I'm just glad to be in it, this time."

"You're always in 'em," he murmured, causing her to stop. Feeling his arm tug as she let go, he took a step back and asked, "What's wrong?"

"This," Akane huffed, motioning between them with upturned palms, "What is this?"

He looked at the empty space with an arched eyebrow, "Uh, _air?"_

"Ass," she sighed, smacking him in the chest. "No, what is _this? _This thing you keep doing, saying one thing but leaving me hanging. Just tell me, clearly, what you're trying to say!"

"I don't know!" he blurted out, feeling his mouth run away on automatic. "It's Ryoga's stupid head, I told ya, it just says stuff on its own all the time!"

"So this is all just an accident?" she asked cautiously, swallowing a quiver at the end. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears as she watched him mentally fidget with the answer. Finally he looked back into her eyes, "If it's an accident, then I only wanna do it once…with you."

Reaching up, she brushed her fingers over his cheek, "That's the best I'm going to get, huh? Why do you have to be so ambiguous all the time?"

Leaning down, he took her by the shoulders and pressed their foreheads together, "Sorry 'bout that."

"Hmmm…" she hummed for a reply, her hand moving to rest on the back of his neck. Idly, she began to play with the hair that poked out of the bottom of his hat. Slowly, his hands slid down her arms.

He was beginning to affect her more than she was willing to admit, his words and actions seeping deeper into her heart than his appearance. Almost giving in to the urge to lift her face a few centimeters, to feel his lips on hers, to simply stop fighting for a while, she caught herself before she found an excuse not to.

Moving so that their cheeks pressed together rather than their lips, she whispered, "Right now, why do you have to have _this _face?"

"Why do you have ta have this _body_?" he asked back, his hand moving to rest on her hip as he nuzzled closer to her ear. Squirming as his breath tickled her neck, she wriggled out of his grip.

"Pervert!"

Blinking, he looked up at her as if he'd just realized he was awake and blushed. Before he could speak, Akane grabbed his hands.

"Will you promise me another date, after you change back?" she asked, "I want to try going on a date with _you_ next time, Ranma."

"I, I, uh…" Transfixed by the way she held him with her eyes, he nodded, "I kinda wanted ta try that, too."

"Let's go eat," she beamed up at him, keeping her hold as she pulled him along behind her.

…

Ryoga trudged on for what felt like an eternity, breaking through the labyrinth of undergrowth and leafless trees at long last. A cold wind blew past, skittering leaves scraping the pavement under the sodium glow of the streetlights that lined the outskirts of the park he'd just spent the last several hours trying to 'escape' from. With a triumphant cry, he punched a fist at the cloudless moon.

"I made it!" he shouted, earning sideways glances from several pedestrians. With renewed strength and determination, Ryoga set off into the night.

…

Folding and then refolding her arms, Akane squinted her eyes, "There's no way I was like that just because I had a fever."

"I'm tellin' you, you were!" Ranma laughed, taking a bite out of his Extra Value meal. "You had your hands _all_ over me, which wasn't really a surprise since, you know…"

"Since I know _what?" _Akane nearly choked, leaning toward him across the booth.

"Since you got the hots for me," he said with a wink.

She let out an exasperated huff. "Oh, and you don't have any feelings for me?"

"Hey, I'm just makin' the best out a-" he mercifully caught her glare before saying _bad situation_. Deciding against making her truly mad, he let out a short laugh. "I'm just having fun with ya, relax, Akane."

"Well, what _I _said was just fever-talk, so there!" she snipped, folding her arms again. Sliding across the booth to her side, he poked her in the arm.

"Akane."

"…"

"Akane?"

"…" she replied in earnest, making him poke her in the arm again.

"Yo, Akane-"

"What?" she nearly shouted. Taking a moment to gain some control, she turned toward him, "I don't really feel like getting thrown out of everywhere we go tonight, so just tell me what you want."

He leaned forward and kissed her briskly on the forehead. She sat, wide-eyed and wordless in front of her French fries.

"Wh-why did you just do that?" she asked quietly once her voice had returned. Brushing her fingers over the place where his lips had touched, she looked over to him.

"I just felt like it," he said before taking another bite of food.

They didn't argue for the rest of the evening.

As the night descended upon them they found themselves aimlessly walking arm-in-arm until the shop lights began to flicker out, only their front display windows remaining lit.

"How'd it get so late?" Akane marveled, a wave of anxiety suddenly washing over her as she realized the evening was coming to a close. Soon they would be 'Ranma and Akane' again, their lives too convoluted to simply sneak off on a date and enjoy themselves without repercussions. Feeling her stiffen next to him, he looked down.

"You gettin' cold?" he asked, looking slightly anxious . "W-want me ta put my arm over you?"

"It's not that," Akane mumbled, staring at their linked arms. "I was just thinking how…how…why can't you just be _normal?_"

He swallowed, unsure of how insulted he should be at her comment, "What's wrong with _me?_"

"Oh, not that, not you," she dismissed with a wave of her hand, "your life."

"Of course," he snorted, "much less insulting when you put it that way."

"Huh?" she asked, stopping and looking up at him. "No, sorry, I'm not trying to insult you. It's this whole, all this nonsense that's happened and happening, all around us. Everyday." She let out a sigh, "I never thought it would be this hard to just _like_ someone."

He began to smirk, beaming down at her, "You said it."

Creasing her brow, she asked, "What?"

"Yooou, saaaaid it!" he quipped again, lacing his fingers with hers, "You finally said you _liked_ me."

"That's because I…oh hush-up! Honestly, are you still a kid? Need a cootie shot because you touched a girl?"

She shook her head, a huge grin spreading nearly as wide as her blush as she went to pull them back down the street. As she gave a tug on his hand, he spun her around and wrapped her into the crook of his arm, "I don't mind cooties."

"No!" she shouted, shoving herself free. "I don't want to kiss you!"

Taking a step back, he stared at her in disbelief.

"What? Not that I was gonna kiss a macho-" his eyes fell to her cleavage for only a moment before darting back up to hers, "a, uh, I wasn't tryin' ta kiss you!" In a softer voice he added, "Would it really have been that bad though, if that was what I wanted ta do?"

Akane began to fidget, picking at her fingernails as she nearly whispered her answer.

"It wouldn't have been a bad thing. I wouldn't stop you if _you_ tried, because I _do_ like you…but I don't want to kiss Ryoga. Thinking about my lips touching his makes me want to gag right now."

When she looked back up, he was smiling so radiantly she nearly had to shield her eyes. "Akane, I think you just made me the happiest guy on Earth!"

Scooping her up, he spun them in a circle before stopping and pressing her to his chest. Once the initial shock wore off, Akane wrapped her arms around him and returned his embrace.

That night they slipped back into the house after the lights had gone out, Ranma too euphoric to question why she was hiding from her family and what she was hiding from him. Taking turns, they silently crept through the house and readied themselves for bed. While he was out of the room, Akane cleared out under her bed, passing him a pillow and a blanket when he returned.

"The closet's so cramped," she whispered, her gaze locked on her hands, "you can get more comfortable if you're under my bed."

"Y-yeah," he agreed, finding it as equally awkward as Akane had to talk about the subject. "I mean, it makes sense…"

"With your legs!" she finished. "You'll be able to stretch them out."

"Right! Gotta stretch my legs, don't know when I'll need 'em."

She looked up, a smile gracing her lips, then melted into a fit of giggles. Clasping a hand over her mouth, she tried to muffle the noise.

"Just get under there," she laughed, sitting on her bed and reaching for her lamp. In the darkness she listened to him slip under her bed. And as she lay down, her fingers brushed his as he reached out to her.

That night, they fell asleep holding hands.

The next morning Akane woke to the sound of Nabiki's voice calling from the other side of her door. Taking a moment to get her bearings, she recalled the previous night and shot bolt-upright in bed, panicking as she pawed at where Ranma's hand had been. But he was gone.

"You little sneak," Nabiki accused as she entered the room, snapping Akane's head around, "running off before I even get the chance to tell you what's happening."

"Well," she surveyed her room briefly with a wide sweep of her eyes before giving her sister her full attention. "Well, what did you expect me to do, listening to you say _that?!"_

"Please, Akane," Nabiki said tiredly, "did you really think I wanted to actually steal your fiance? Well, did you think I wanted to do it again?"

"Sure sounded like what you were saying," Akane grumbled. "So how was your hot night together? Bet you made his nose bleed, and knowing you it was probably more than once."

"Afraid not, little sis," she said with a yawn. "Dear Ryoga never showed."

Akane stopped huffing long enough to see that Nabiki was telling the truth.

"He stood you up…_you?"_

Nabiki let out a short laugh, "I'm sure he didn't mean to, that would have been foolish." Even as she said it, a sinister glint flashed through her eyes, promising repercussions if her theory was proven incorrect.

"He probably just wandered off somewhere," Akane soothed automatically, then she looked up. "Wait a minute, why am I helping to make you feel better?"

"Because you care so very much," Nabiki teased, batting her lashes at her sister. "What I said yesterday was part of the plan, dummy, but if I told you that, you wouldn't have acted it out as realistically."

With a languid stretch, she began walking toward the door. "Have Ranma here later tonight, we can discuss this whole messy situation then. Oh, and you and I are having a culinary competition; when I announce it to you later today, do try and act surprised. I'll be in the bath…ta-ta."

Akane let her words sink in as she watched her door close, then she immediately threw her head over the side of her bed. Seeing nothing but empty space, she scrambled to the floor and threw open her closet door, again finding no sign of Ranma. Spinning slowly in the middle of her room, she whispered, "You'd better not be hiding someplace, waiting for me to change clothes!" Hearing no denial hissed back at her, she began to get dressed for the day.

Heading downstairs, she paused before taking her seat at the table, surprised to see a well-worn and battered Ryoga sitting in Ranma's spot. With a slight rise in her temper, she noted that he'd managed to tear a hole in one of Ranma's pant legs.

"Good morning," she mumbled with zero enthusiasm. Cocking an eyebrow at his appearance she added, "Where the heck were you?"

"I got lost on the road of life," he answered, the circles under his eyes showing that he'd had a rough night. Unfortunately for him, she was well past the point of caring.

"Hmm, sounds tough."

"It was all right," he answered coolly, shooting Akane a look, "I had plenty of blankets to keep me warm."

Lifting a bag from under the table, he dropped it in her usual place beside him that was currently empty.

Akane stared at the bag; it was her bag, it was _the_ bag. The one she'd taken to Ranma on the night of their first date, the one with all the blankets she could find stuffed inside. The memory of the evening made her face go red.

"Can I talk to you a moment, Akane san?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Well, well, well. Looks like little Akane's gotten herself into a bit of a predicament!**_

_**So, my usual "Sorry this took so long" is due once more, sorry. I saw the # of reviews hit 98 and thought I could hold out for 100...but it never came. **__**:( So remember, if you like what you read, send a review! It just might get someone motivated enough to give you what you want.**_

_**But seriously, thanks go out to caia-chan for stoking my motivation fires. When you wrote, I had 14 pages. Here's to 21 & Done! Thanks!**_

**NEXT TIME:**

**The Lying Son-of-a-Bitch in my Wardrobe **

**See ya there!**


	9. The Lying Son-of-a-Bitch in my Wardrobe

_Our Story Thus Far:_

_Ryoga got his hands on a soul-swapping jewel,_

_And now's engaged to Akane, for which he drooled._

_But Ranma's not out and down for the count,_

_And Akane's no fool, (she's figured them out!)_

_So read on, my friends, read on and see,_

_What can become of this tomfoolery!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>LAST TIME on Opposite Attraction…<strong>_

"_Have Ranma here later tonight," Nabiki said, "we can discuss this whole messy situation then. Oh, and you and I are having a culinary competition; when I announce it to you later today, do try and act surprised."_

_Heading downstairs, Akane paused before taking her seat at the table, surprised to see a well-worn and battered Ryoga sitting in Ranma's spot. With a slight rise in her temper, she noted that he'd managed to tear a hole in one of Ranma's pant legs._

"_Good morning," she mumbled with zero enthusiasm. Cocking an eyebrow at his appearance she added, "Where the heck were you?"_

"_I got lost on the road of life," he answered, the circles under his eyes showing that he'd had a rough night. Unfortunately for him, she was well past the point of caring. _

"_Hmm, sounds tough." _

"_It was all right," he answered coolly, shooting Akane a look, "I had plenty of blankets to keep me warm."_

_Lifting a bag from under the table, he dropped it in her usual place beside him that was currently empty._

_Akane stared at the bag; it was her bag, it was the bag. The one she'd taken to Ranma on the night of their first date, the one with all the blankets she could find stuffed inside. The memory of the evening made her face go red. _

"_Can I talk to you a moment, Akane san?"_

* * *

><p><strong>Opposite Attraction<strong>

**Disclaimer: Like a beacon of rational thought in an otherwise irrational universe, this disclaimer just keeps saying it like it is…or isn't. They're not mine.**

**Chapter 9: The Lying Son-of-a-Bitch in my Wardrobe**

* * *

><p>"Can I talk to you a moment, Akane san?"<p>

Akane stared first at the bag, then back to Ryoga and swallowed the growing lump in her throat; '_He knows!' _

With a sickening feeling she realized that no matter what happened from that point on Ryoga would have something to hold over them, something to control her with, if he chose to.

"What do we need to talk about?" she asked innocently as she tried to regain control of the situation, only a small quiver in her voice alluding to her guilt.

Ryoga passed a hand over his face, "You brought these there…"

"What are you-"

"Why are you still seeing him?!" he shouted.

Akane stared back in shock, the ensuing silence pulling all of the air from the room. For just a moment, she almost shuddered.

"I know you were with him," Ryoga continued in a groan, "I _saw_ you, Akane san."

"We were just getting something to eat, it's not really worth getting so worked up about."

Ryoga began to shake his head, looking down at the table as an ominous grin curled up his lips, "You and I both know it wasn't so innocent."

She let out a short laugh, "What are you even-"

Holding up a hand for silence, his eyes found hers once more.

"He didn't sleep in his tent last night."

For a moment she froze. Finding a quick recovery, she retorted with a sarcastic, "Oh please, how can you be so sure?"

"I'm sure," he ground out, startling Akane to hear Ranma's voice turned so intimidating, so furious. "I'm sure because _I_ was in his tent waiting for him."

Akane flinched as he moved closer, "Stay away from him, he'll only hurt you more than he already has."

She blinked, _'He'll…hurt me?'_

His words having the right effect but the wrong outcome, her eyes locked onto his. She thought about all that _he_ had done, all that he was still trying to _do,_ to her, to Ranma, her whole family! Clenching her jaw, a spark rekindled within her and erased any fear of repercussion.

"_You_ have no right to tell me what I can and can't do, remember? You're _Nabiki's_ fiancé now, why don't you try telling _her_ what to do!"

"That doesn't mean that I should stop watching over you, Akane san! I will always be there to protect-"

"Oh, shut it!" she cut him off abruptly, shaking her head as she grabbed his bag of evidence and left the room.

Leaving him behind she glowered at the floor while replaying all the lies Ryoga had spewed from his lips, and from Ranma's. Muttering under her breath she entered her room, tossing the blankets into the corner and slowly looking around.

"Are you here?" she whispered loudly, "If you can hear me I'm going to school now." Getting no response, she frowned slightly and lifted her school bag. Pausing with her hand on the doorknob, she mumbled a quick, "I wish I was walking with you," and slipped from the room.

Rushing down the hall to the front door, she nearly leapt into her coat and shoes and ran outside to avoid dealing with Ryoga, then proceeded to sprint down the block. Rounding the corner of the first intersection, she heard someone whistle a cat-call, which she tried to ignore. Hearing it a second time, she attempted a casual side glance to confirm if she truly was being leered at. Matching eyes with a familiar cocky grin, her scowl gave way to a broad smile.

"You idiot!" she exclaimed in relief, stepping toward Ranma as he crossed to her side of the street. "I was about to get angry," she breathed, cocking her head to the side as she looked up at him.

"Oh no!" he gasped in exaggerated horror, "Not _anger_, you barely ever use that emotion!"

"Shut up! I'm _always_ sweet and gentle, and it would be in your best interest to remembered that."

"I never forget somethin' a pretty girl tells me ta remember," he said with a wink, making Akane blush as they continued down the street, puffs of their breath mingling behind them in the crisp morning air.

"What are you doing here?" she laughed, punching him in the arm.

"You wished you could walk ta school with me so here I am, like a freakin' genie!"

Her jaw dropping open, she poked him in the chest. "You heard that, you were _listening?_ You jerk, why didn't you answer me?" Sucking in a sudden gasp as a new thought struck, she clapped a hand over her mouth, "Were you in my room the whole time? You weren't _looking_, were you?"

"As if I'd ever wanna!" he denied, then cleared his throat and leaned closer. "But, hypothetically speaking, if I did…?"

His comment earning him another punch in the arm, this one with more meaning, he began to rub it with a grimace.

"I was only kidding, jeeze."

"See," Akane began with a gentle smile, "don't you miss this?"

"What, you hittin' me? 'Cause, ta be truthful, I could-"

"Honestly, take it like a man! Not _that…this._ Being together…and stuff."

Flexing his arm, he worked the muscles while rubbing over his newly forming bruise. Looking down at her in defeat, he shook his head.

"I don't know why, but yeah, I actually do. Even the hitting part," he winked.

Flashing a radiant smile, she linked her arm through his and gave it a squeeze, "Thanks for making my morning brighter, Ranma."

"S-sure," he answered with a blush. "It couldn't of been all that bad, though," he added with a short laugh, "I wasn't there, and usually I'm the one ruinin' it!"

"It's all that idiot Ryoga's fault!" she blurted out, her temper getting the better of her. "With all his lies and stupid accusations, then that whole thing with Nabiki and the engagement…ugh! It makes me sick to even look at him, I just want that stupid jewel so we can get our lives back!"

Ranma remained silent for a moment before coming to a halt, "What thing with Nabiki and the engagement?"

"W-what's that?" she stammered as she unsuccessfully tried to feign innocence for the second time that morning, the sudden loss of blood to her face giving her little credibility.

"Akane," he said with a quiet edge, "this is why you didn't wanna be home the other night, isn't it? Did something happen I should know about?"

She dropped her eyes, her grip on his arm tightening, "I'm sure it'll clear itself up on its own."

"_What_ will, Akane?"

"It's stupid…"

He took her by the shoulders, "Tell me."

Taking in a deep breath, she squeezed her eyes closed, "Our Dads think you're in love with Nabiki."

His brain exploded. It then scraped itself back together, replayed her last few words, and promptly blew itself up once more.

"W-why…?" he breathed, "Why the hell would they ever think _that?_"

"Probably because that's what you told them," she muttered, stealing an experimental glance up at him. With a sigh she saw that he was still poorly attempting a recovery.

"Yesterday was a complicated day," she explained helpfully, patting his arm.

"I…I guess that's one way ta put it."

"Nabiki says it's okay, though," she said through a forced smile.

"Oh, well if _Nabiki_ says it's okay, why worry?" he answered sarcastically. "I mean, she's _always_ thinkin' about other people first, right?"

"She wants to have a meeting later, and she want's you to be there."

He shook his head in defeat, "Perfect."

…

Classes started uneventfully, Akane finding herself almost at ease until third period…the time when 'Ranma' came glowering through the classroom door. Taking his seat beside her, he picked a twig from his tousled hair and sneered at her.

"You left me again," he whispered bluntly.

"Well, at least today you made it to school," she hissed back with extreme indifference.

"Do you even know what I went through to get here?" He was growing more agitated with every word, but she didn't seem to care, much to his annoyance.

"I don't know," she answered apathetically, "the streets of Nerima?"

"HELL!" he shouted, rising from his seat. "I went through hell to get here! Would it _kill you_ to just wait for me?!"

"WHY should I have to wait for you? You know the way to school, _don't_ you?" she shot back, the accusation simply daring him to spill the truth.

Settling back down, Ryoga wiped at a spot of mud on his sleeve. "Of course I do, I was simply trying to turn the mundane into a training exercise, which is something you should do more of. You should join me next time, your skills could use some refining."

Akane snorted.

"So now I should train with you?" Finally turning her gaze his way, she blinked slowly, "I don't think so."

"Dammit, Akane san! What more do I have…to…say…?"

It had taken them a moment to notice, but the fighting duo had attracted a bit of attention being that they were still in the middle of class. A bit more attention than they apparently thought their argument warranted. Lifting her eyes to meet Miss Hinako's as the diminutive teacher glared over Ryoga's shoulder, the last thing Akane saw was the small hands of a child rise up while holding a 50-yen coin.

That afternoon, Miss Hinako went home a woman.

…

Opening her eyes painfully against the florescent glare of the overhead light, Akane took in her surroundings.

"I'm in the Infirmary…?" she wondered aloud, rising to her elbows with a groan. Watching the room spin, she lowered herself back to the pillow.

"You're awake!" came a breathless cry from the other side of her curtained-off room. For a moment she felt her heart leap at the sound of Ranma's voice, then reality slipped back into place. _'Ryoga,'_ she thought sourly, a small frown turning down the corners of her lips.

"May I, uh, see you, Akane san?"

She rolled her eyes, then regretted it as her vision continued to spin after her eyes had stopped. Heaving out a sigh, she pressed a hand to her forehead, "Whatever, Ranma."

Parting the curtain, he poked his head in with an unsure smile, "I'm sorry, again, for getting you in trouble with me, Akane san. I guess you aren't used to having your energy drained, huh?"

"It's not exactly something I do a lot," she tried to say in an angry tone, but didn't have the strength to pull it off. Gritting her teeth at how weak she sounded, she glared at him, "This is all your fault."

"I know," he said quietly, "and like I just said, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well…"

She was having trouble keeping the argument alive with all of his apologizing! She didn't want to forgive him, and she had so much to be angry with him over, but to see Ranma's blue eyes looking out through those thick lashes, his strong hands as they pushed back the curtain, his muscled chest as it moved beneath his shirt when he straightened his back…

She'd been spending so much time with Ryoga's body, she hadn't realized how much she missed seeing HIS.

'_I'm attracted to him…dammit!' _she scolded herself in defeat, knowing that she couldn't keep up the fight. _'Why do I find the worst times in the world to realize my true feelings?'_

"Give me a few minutes and I'll walk you home," she said quietly. Closing her eyes, she purposely missed the wrong smile that she knew would be on his lips.

…

"Tea?"

Ranma blinked, then blinked again as he came out of his thoughts to find Kasumi hovering over him with a teacup in-hand.

"Uh, no thanks, Kasumi."

Following his eyes back to the clock, she turned to the kitchen, "Akane seems to be running a bit late, doesn't she?"

"Yeah…" he answered, already looking intently at the clock again.

Hearing the door open, he perked up and leapt to his feet. "Do you know what time it is?" he called out as he padded toward the entryway. "I thought something happened ta you!" Rounding the last corner, he nearly bumped into a smug Nabiki

"And here I thought you didn't care."

"Nabiki?" he yipped, taking a step back.

"Ra-hmmm. What, exactly, _should_ we call you? I suppose 'Ryoga' would be the safest bet, considering the circumstances."

"Huh? Sure, whatever, just don't get used to it," he replied while looking past her, "Akane ain't with you?"

She patted his cheek with a smirk, "Oh dear, dear Ranma, how I've waited to see this look of longing on your face over my sister. I'd take a picture but, alas, it's the wrong face. There's no money in Ryoga looking forlorn, he gives it away for free so often."

Ranma finally looked down at her, "_What?"_

"Never mind," she said brusquely, walking past him and into the house, "just remember to answer to 'Ryoga' and you'll be fine."

Making herself a plate of snacks, she sat down at the table and thoughtfully ate a cracker. "So Akane's not home yet?"

He dropped into his usual place and locked her in a fierce look, "What d'you think? Why, you know something?"

"Only that she's probably not alone."

"How do you know that?"

"Look around; your doppelganger's running late, too. I highly doubt it's coincidental."

"You think I should look for her?" he rushed out, rising to his knees. She shook her head.

"She's probably humoring Ryoga and his ridiculous sense of direction. Where would you even look, they could be anywhere, knowing him."

He barely settled down. "So what're we gonna do?" he asked impatiently, making her crack a wider grin.

"WE are going to wait, and they, hopefully, are going to get home some time tonight."

…

"Ow!" Akane yipped as another branch snapped her in the forehead, "Why don't you just put me down and I'll lead?" she asked in a tired whine.

"No! You can hardly stand, so I have to carry you to your house. It's what any true man worth his salt would do." And it was exactly the opening Ryoga had been waiting for, the chance to swoop in and be Akane's hero! He just needed karma, the fates, and the universe to cut him a break and get them to her house without further harm from his ever present ability to get hopelessly lost.

Akane let out a sigh and winced against another twig as it grazed her face while they pushed through more undergrowth. "Can we take a more _direct_ path at least? Maybe even try one that's paved, it would be easier."

"Please don't trouble yourself worrying about me, Akane san. I've still got plenty of energy to get us home!"

"I'm more concerned about myself," she muttered under her breath, continuing to keep her defenses up against the onslaught of the trees they were expeditioning through. "Can I just _walk_, so I don't get a twig sandwich for an in-flight meal?"

She folded her arms across her chest as he began to laugh.

"Oh, Akane san! You always did have a wonderful sense of humor, which-"

"I wasn't joking," she interrupted.

"-which is a wonderful trait for a- a _woman." _he continued as if she'd never spoken. "Maybe we, uh, we should rethink the, the engagement… as it stands now, that is?"

Lifting her eyes, she watched as his blush blazed all the way to his ears.

"I see…" she said slowly, her defenses rising.

"Im-imagine if we never got out of this forest," he blurted out in a near-manic state. "We could live out here, Akane san, j-just the two of us alone…forever!"

"Put me down," she said flatly.

His eyes deglazing as he came to a halt, he realized he'd said too much. "Akane san, I only meant-"

"Put me _down_," she repeated, this time with considerably less patience. "First of all, we aren't lost, _you are_. Secondly, I'd appreciate not being part of your weird fantasies, so you had better derail that train of thought right now. We need to go home, and when we get there, I'd like it if you gave me some time to myself."

Gently, he lowered her feet to the dirt and stepped behind, following her lead as they broke through the trees in a matter of seconds. He'd tried everything to win her heart, all to no avail, and only now did he realize how every word uttered from his stolen lips was ruining Ranma's life. But it was the only thing he seemed good at like this, smearing his bad luck into every crack and opening inadvertently left by Ranma.

Then Ryoga blinked; the only thing he was good at…

…

Staring impatiently out of Akane's window, Ranma tapped a meandering beat against the glass with the backs of his nails before continuing to pace around the room. Akane was late. Later than usual. Late enough that it made him worry that something was wrong. But Nabiki seemed so calm that he felt like a fool showing it. He'd finally paced enough downstairs that she'd suggested he wait in Akane's room, away from her, until her sister arrived home. After all, he _was_ still technically in hiding while in the house.

Hearing a commotion from below, he eagerly pressed his ear to her door, breathing a sigh of relief when he heard Akane's voice as she happily greeted her sisters. Squeezing his eyes closed in silent thanks, he felt his chest muscles unwind, _'She's home.'_

Then the fighting began.

…

"What?" Akane exclaimed in a close approximation of astonishment. Staring daggers at her sister, she let out a sigh. _'She couldn't have waited until my coat was off?'_

"A cooking contest?" Ryoga laughed, "Akane san could never do that, she can't cook!"

Nabiki looked between the two and shrugged, "I'm afraid it's too late, the other fiancees have all been invited, as well as your mother, Ranma. She, at least, expects to see Akane."

"Wait a minute," Akane interrupted, turning to face Ryoga, "what do you _mean_ I can't cook?" She'd played her part and acted surprised by Nabiki's announcement, but Ryoga's words had come out of left field and smacked her right in the face.

"I, I'm just saying that there really isn't any point to embarrassing yourself in front of the others, Akane san. We aren't engaged anymore, and we all know that you, uh, cook like a mule."

"Oh!" Kasumi gasped, albeit looking a bit unsure if the comment warranted it. Akane shook her head; even _Ryoga _seemed confused by his last attempt at an insult.

"Look, Akane, I just don't see why you feel the need to do this," he said nonchalantly. "The other girls have more legitimate claims to have me marry them. With me being engaged to Nabiki, you simply aren't necessary."

She stared, unwavering, into his eyes, knowing full-well that they were _not_ Ranma's. Nothing but the appearance was his, every ounce of what lay beneath was wrong. She knew this…but his words were breaking through her defenses, her very sense of reality, and piercing her as if Ranma himself were uttering them. Her chest was beginning to ache.

"Why are you doing this?" she whispered in a strangled voice, her bottom lip giving a small quiver. It almost made Ryoga break down to see her this way, and by his own hand none the less! But this was the only thing he was good at…no. This was the only thing _Ranma_ was good at. As long as he stuck by this way of thinking, he would be able to ruin Ranma's life and set his own up for a happy ending, then switch back and enjoy his reward! If he couldn't pull off being a good Ranma, he'd just be the worst Ranma he could be!

He took her by the shoulders, "Akane. I'm only saying what everyone else is thinking."

Immediately she pushed out of his grip, staggering backwards as she rushed to put distance between them. Feeling her back hit the wall, she pressed her fists against its cool surface and closed her eyes. She wanted to mallet him out of the house, kick him to the dirt, throttle him senseless, but she had no energy left to do it. She felt tired, heavily and completely exhausted. More drained than Hinako could ever achieve.

"I'm going upstairs," she muttered, "don't come after me."

"Wh-why would I follow an uncute tomboy like you?"

Dropping her shoes, bag and coat on the floor, she rushed past her sisters.

"Akane…" Kasumi said quietly, turning to Ryoga with a frown. For a moment he mulled over a response before simply giving a shrug.

"Why that, uh, that macho chick! Who knows _what_ I did to her this time, am I right? Got anything to eat?"

Not waiting for an answer, he passed by her and walked toward the kitchen, "Don't worry, I'll just help myself."

Her eyes going wide, Kasumi nearly frowned, she was getting so angry! Hurting Akane was enough, but the added intrusion into her kitchen sent her over the edge completely. Coming up from behind, she overtook him at the doorway to the dining room.

"I'm afraid there's nothing to eat at the moment," she said pleasantly, a cold, hard mask of what a smile should have looked like on her face. "Please wait until dinner."

An apology on his lips, Ryoga fought it back. _'Be the worst Ranma you can be!'_

"I guess I can wait," he replied instead, "just be sure it's not too long."

Without a word, Kasumi turned and walked into the sanctuary of the kitchen.

Once she had left, Ryoga plopped down before Nabiki's plate of snacks on the table, snatching a cracker uninvited. She allowed him to do it, a smirk playing across her lips as she sat beside him.

She'd stayed quiet after her announcement just to see what would happen and, so far, his reactions had failed to disappoint. Pressing her chin into her palm, she let out an obvious "Ahem" as he reached for her last cracker. His hand came to a halt.

"Trying something _new_, eh, Ranma?"

"Uh, what's new about me acting rude?" he asked, resuming his descent on her plate. As he lifted the cracker she grabbed his wrist and brought it to her own lips, taking a bite.

"You're so forward!" she exaggerated, covering her mouth timidly and giving a small laugh.

"I wasn't being forward," he complained, "I was looking for something to eat!"

Tugging on his wrist again she leaned in and took the last bite, pulling the snack slowly from his fingertips with her lips and tongue.

"I know you liked my sister," she said slowly, "but let's see if I can't help you forget about all of that, shall we?"

Rising before he had a chance to pull himself together enough to respond, she headed upstairs to Akane's room.

…

"I _hate_ him!" Akane mumbled as she stomped up the steps, "He's an idiot and I hope I never see him again once this is over!"

Her door swinging open before her hand touched the doorknob, Ranma whisked her inside and pushed the door closed again with his foot. Holding her by the shoulders, he pressed her back against it as he leaned in close, "What the hell did he just say ta you?"

She blinked twice in shock, "Wh-when did you get here?"

"A while ago," he answered with a frown, "why are you so late?"

Brushing a lock of hair behind her ear, she tried to turn out of his grip. As she moved her foot to sidestep, he calmly placed his arm against the wall in front of her.

"You gonna answer _any_ of my questions, or am I gonna have ta get rough?"

"Oh please! It isn't like you're going to hit me, Ranma."

"Yeah," he smirked evilly, "but it _would_ be like me ta stay and nag the hell outta you until you told me what I wanted. I got all the time in the world, Akane."

"Fine," she grumbled with a scowl, "but you can't make fun!"

"Go on…" he prodded, leaning back and folding his arms.

Playing with her thumb nail, she dropped her eyes to his feet, "I was, sort of, drained by Miss Hinako."

Waiting for the laughter and torment she was sure would be heading her way, she smiled pathetically and lifted her eyes. When they met his, he was far from laughing.

Sucking in a deep, slow breath, he calmed himself before nearly growling, "Did it have something ta do with that ass Ryoga?"

She tried to laugh, looking away when it seemed to annoy him further. "We were arguing in class…it was my fault, too. I think I may have lost my temper a little."

Reaching his hand out, he brushed his thumb over a small scratch on her cheek, "This from him, too?"

She traced over it with her fingertips, confirming its existence. "He wanted to carry me, my legs were a little shaky when I first woke up. Of course, you can imagine the path he tried to take before I got us home."

She smiled, then felt it slide off of her lips under his glare.

Feeling jealousy burn in his chest at the thought of all of the moments Akane was sharing alone with Ryoga, Ranma's frown deepened, "I don't like him touching you."

"Are you saying that I do?" she snipped back. "And for your information, when you're like _this_," she poked him in the chest, "it's exactly like _he's _touching me, so, maybe just think about that!"

Pulling his hands back, he curled them into fists at his sides and spun away from her. He'd been so worked up about her being late, so uneasy about the possible reasons why, and so angry about who she was with that he'd been starting to feel like he was going insane. Knowing the truth, unfortunately, hadn't helped set his mind at ease.

"I can't stand it," he breathed, "I can't take not bein' able to stick around you while _he's_ there, who knows what he'll try an' do to you!"

"Well, now you know how I've been feeling for the past few years!" she said without enthusiasm, sitting down on the edge of her bed. Pausing for a long moment, he slowly brought his eyes around to her, "You can't seriously be tryin' to compare a bunch a girls to _Ryoga_."

"Oh yeah," she answered with a load of sarcasm, "no similarities there."

Pulling her desk chair beside the bed, he spun it backwards and straddled it. "Akane, they were _girls. _I mean, what were they even gonna do ta me? But Ryoga, on any regular day he's as strong as a mule, and dumb as one, too. He's a guy, believe it or not, and now he's in _my_ awesome, good-lookin' body…I can only imagine what he'll try an do with all that raw power and natural ability in his hands!"

She leveled a look at him, "Shall I give you some time alone with yourself?"

"What?" he protested, "I'm just puttin' things into perspective so we can try an' get into his head, figure out his next move."

"Don't strain yourself," Nabiki teased as she walked through the door, startling the two. Laying a hand on Akane's shoulder, she whispered loud enough for the room to hear, "You should have seen him worry over you, Akane. You'd have either been impressed or embarrassed."

"Neechan!" Akane scolded her elder sibling even while turning to see what Ranma's reaction was. Seeing him blush, she attempted to keep her expression neutral despite her heart leaping in her chest. With a quick shake of her head, she tried to remember that he was annoying her.

"Right, right," Nabiki dismissed, "now, let's have a serious little chat, shall we? Just to clear things up." Walking to Ranma, she lay a hand on the back of the chair he was using, "May I?"

Rising hesitantly, he relinquished his seat and turned his gaze to the only remaining place to sit aside from the floor; next to Akane on her bed. His eyes lingering long enough for her to realize his intentions, Akane gave the least indifferent shrug ever shrugged and snorted, "I don't _care_ where you sit, baka."

"Me neither!" he said while gingerly settling on the smallest razor-edge of bed that gravity would allow. "I, I just wanted ta be sure you weren't gonna hit me or nothing."

"I don't hit you _that_ much-"

"A-_hem_," Nabiki broke in, causing both teens to look embarrassed. "Alright, now that you're finished, can we get on to business?"

"Hai," they answered in abashed unison.

Nabiki leaned back in the chair and folded her arms. "I suppose I should probably begin by answering questions," she looked up at Ranma with a smug grin, "_you_ must have a few. I'll be expecting you to return the favor, however."

"Okay," he said, leaning forward with a sharp glint in his eye, "guess I'll start with the big stuff first. Why the hell are we engaged, Nabiki?"

"Well now, you flatterer. Do you write greeting cards with that silver tongue of yours?"

"Why _did_ you do that?" Akane asked, realizing that she'd never questioned a motive beyond 'love', which it obviously was not.

Nabiki let out a short laugh, "Figured me out, did you? It has nothing to do with you, Ranma, so don't get your hopes up," she said with a wink. Fidgeting uncomfortably, he moved closer to Akane.

"Think for a moment, dear sister, what was about to happen with _your_ engagement?"

Scrutinizing her bed sheets, Akane answered quietly, "Our fathers were planning a wedding."

"And," Nabiki continued, "with everyone but you on the same page for once, how much time do you think you had left as a young, single woman?"

"Not much…so _that's _why you did this."

Ranma looked from Akane to Nabiki, then back again. "I knew they were all excited, but how close were you to gettin' hitched?"

"Close," Akane shuddered, "too close."

"Ryoga's been a busy boy," Nabiki answered, "you should take a few pointers."

He swallowed hard then passed his eyes briefly over Akane's, unable to stay for long. "Guess it is kinda scary, the thought of marryin' me."

"I didn't know it wasn't you," she rushed out, "but you, or , uh, _he_ was acting weird so…I wasn't scared so much as mad that they didn't ask _me._"

"So, if things had been a little different, you would-a said yes?"

"Wh-what?" she stammered, going three shades of red. "Who _knows, _I don't remember what I was feeling back then! I mean, it was so long ago."

"_Days_ have passed," Nabiki smirked, "you can't expect her to remember _everything_."

"Nabiki!" Akane shouted. Ranma scratched the back of his neck, realizing he'd forgotten that she was in the room with them.

"Sorry," he said quietly, leaning toward Akane. "I'll shut up, now."

"On the contrary, Saotome," Nabiki said while pointing a finger his way, "I, for one, _want_ your mouth talking…it's my turn for answers."

"Okay," he shrugged, "what d'ya wanna know? Just so long as its nothing bad!"

She leveled off a glare, "The way you are now, 'bad' wouldn't pay-out. No, dear Ranma, what I want from you is information. Where's the jewel?"

He cocked an eyebrow, "I don't got it." She looked at Akane, who shook her head _no_.

"So _Ryoga _isthe lucky man… interesting. Almost didn't think he had it in him."

"_Ryoga_ doesn't have it," Akane nearly choked, her habit of giving him the benefit of a doubt rising to the surface.

"Would make more sense if he did," Ranma shrugged. "It _did_ disappear right after we were in your room, Akane."

"But, but he's not _like that_," she all but whined, her new, more accurate image of him making it more than obvious that she was most likely wrong. The feeling it left her with wasn't unlike finding out the truth about Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. Looking up with a frown, she recalled that Nabiki was behind _that_ memory as well.

"All right," Akane conceded, "maybe he is. So, what are we going to do to get it back?"

Nabiki smirked, "That, my friends, leads us to the second part of my plan."

Ranma leaned in, "Which is…?"

"A Cooking Contest for Akane!" she smiled brightly, draining the blood from his face.

"C-Cooking…for _Akane?_ How's that gonna help anything?" he asked nervously.

"Hey!" Akane quipped, smacking him in the side.

"Really, you two are so excitable," Nabiki said while fanning the air dismissively with her hand. "Everything will be fine and, not to worry, I have a part for you in this little play, too."

"Can't wait," he frowned, Akane smacking him again.

"Glad you're enthusiastic," Nabiki said smoothly. "Now Akane, after your last overreaction, I want you to be forewarned; I'm _going_ to say some things that may upset you. Knowing this, do you think you can pull off being angry at Ryoga?"

Looking up with a sinister grin, Akane arched an eyebrow, "Angry with him? Yeah, I might just be able to do that."

Later that evening Ranma heard the bedroom door click closed, leaving him and Akane alone together for another night. Glancing through a crack in the closet door, he watched her drop to her bed, a blank, anxious stare glazing her eyes.

The drama of the day had petered off into the upcoming drama of the contest that was to be held the following morning, causing Akane to grow increasingly quiet and fidgety as the day wound to a close. Not that anyone at dinner had noticed, all they seemed to care about was that there was a possible resolution to the mystery surrounding Ranma and Akane's respective love lives. Through it all, she'd had to keep smiling and acting as normal as she could while watching her fiancé's body held close to her sister…and he seemed to be _relishing_ the attention! Just holding her temper had taken her all once he opened his mouth, rekindling their discussion on why she wasn't good enough to be in the contest. Somehow she had managed to keep her emotions, and her fists, in check.

It had been exhausting. Running her hands over her face and through her hair, she let out a long sigh.

Seeing her like this twisted something deep in Ranma's chest, his fingers dimpling the wood of the doorframe as he pulled himself back under control.

"Akane," he hissed urgently into the room, "is it okay if I come out?"

"Huh?" she said with a start, her head jerking up as she remembered she wasn't alone. "Y-yeah, of course! Everyone went to bed early to get a jump on tomorrow, so no one should notice if you want to get some food. I think Kasumi left something out for you, I meant to bring it, I'm sorry."

Climbing free of her things, he stepped out into the room. For a moment her eyes eagerly sought his, then grew disappointed and fell away. Looking down at himself, he grimaced, _'Damn, Ryoga, even like this you're a downer!'_

"The food can wait, you all right?" he asked, kneeling on the floor in front of her bed. For a moment he nearly took her hand, then thought against it, grabbing fist-full's of blankets just to have something to hold onto.

Plastering on a fake smile, Akane nodded, "I'm fine, I'm fine! Nothing I can't handle, just a stupid contest with _my _cooking skills against your other fiancés'…the one's who are all actually _good_ at cooking. Really," she looked into his eyes and smiled, "can't wait!"

"You forgetting who the judge is?" he asked, smiling back at her. "His body might be sittin in front of ya, but his mouth's still gonna be calling the winner. He loves you, Akane."

"_Loves me?"_ she repeated slowly.

Their eyes bore into one another's for a long, agonizing moment as the words he could never seem to say hung in plain sight before them, laying his soul bare.

"Does _he?" _she whispered, her heart thundering in her ears as she reached out to twine her fingers with his.

Swallowing, he glanced down at their linked hands in near disbelief. Finding her eyes once more, he breathed, "From the fist day I met you, I have."

A gasp escaped her lips in a short burst, a smile quirking up the corner of her mouth before falling under the intensity of the moment. Slipping to the floor she knelt before him, squeezing his hands tightly within her own smaller ones.

"A-about that kiss, from before," she said with a blush, "I really wish I could, right now."

"With _me?_" he asked, his voice cracking boyishly. Throwing a hand over her mouth, she smothered a giggle.

"Uh…we could, you know, do other stuff," he continued, already missing the feel of her hand.

"Other stuff!" she said incredulously, "What are _you_ thinking about? Wait, when you said you, um…from the first day we met," she slipped her hand back into his and _squeezed_, "it wasn't because you saw me naked, was it?"

He pulled his head back in surprise, "What? No! I mean, it sure as heck didn't hurt, but…"

His gaze wandering the room as he fumbled his response, he suddenly found Akane's eyes locked onto him. Somehow he couldn't quite place the look she was giving him, but it was dark and sultry and swallowing him whole.

"You weren't too bad, yourself," she said in a voice like velvet.

"You _did_ look," he said without a hint of a fight in his voice, "but you said you didn't."

"I'm only human," she blushed, the corners of her mouth pulling up as her mind mercilessly replayed the memory of him glistening wet as he climbed from the bath. Quietly, she hummed her approval.

Leaning closer, he flashed her his perfectly executed, but horribly unfitting on Ryoga's face, smile. "Did I get ya to forget about tomorrow?"

Staring at a fang-tip poking awkwardly from the corner of his mouth, she reached up to caress his cheek, "You certainly put other things on my mind."

Akane gently ran her fingers down his face, pausing to trace over his jaw line. "Yours is different, right here."

Her voice had been so far away that he had to wonder if she'd meant for him to hear it at all. Then she dragged her thumb along the length of his chin, pausing over the left side where it curved under to his throat, "And _you _have a scar right here that looks like a tiny half-moon."

Shuddering under her touch, he closed his eyes, allowing her to search over his face unabashed. After several moments her fingers lifted from his skin, followed by the sound of her gentle footfalls as she moved across the room.

"Akane…?" he asked just as she turned off the lights.

"Whisper," she breathed, sitting before him and taking his hand. "If I can't see that it's not you, and I can't hear the difference in your voice, then maybe I can trick myself into believing that you're really here with me…that's how I'd like to remember it, anyway."

"Uh, okay," he whispered obediently, still unsure of her exact intentions. Running a finger over her palm he noted a small sheen of moisture, _'Is she still nervous about the contest?'_

"Hey," he said softly, cupping her cheek, "just think about me for now, okay?"

She lay a hand over his and pressed it further against her face. Then, ever so slowly, she turned under his palm until she traced her lips over his fingertips. "I assure you, Ranma, you're the only thing I'm thinking of right now."

Hardly breathing as his mind raced in a thousand different directions at once, he held her hand tighter to try and keep himself grounded. "So, wh-what do ya want to, uh, _do? _Without the kissing, an all._"_

Even in the dark, he could see her wide eyes staring into his as she leaned closer, slipping her hands from his and coming up over his shoulders. Her breath tickling his skin, she nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

"I just _really_ need a hug," she whispered, so soft he was sure he would have missed it had she not been right under his ear. Lifting his arms he sank into her embrace, wrapping himself around her like a drowning man on driftwood.

Tipping his head down, he pressed his lips to the top of her head, the familiar smell of her shampoo draining all the tension from his body. It had been a while since he could recall feeling this good.

"I want you ta know," he sighed, "anytime you want, I'll hug you, just ask. Honest, anytime!"

"I'll hold you to that," she giggled.

"You can hold me ta anything, just so long as you hold me," he said, tightening his grip around her and closing his eyes.

They stayed that way for a long moment before Akane pulled back slightly, looking out into the darkened room from her position under his chin, "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Don't be stupid," he laughed, "'course you can! I won't say nothin' to anyone."

She looked up, her forehead still tucked below his chin. "Okay…I want you to go back to being you…"

He shrugged, "Me too."

"But…"

"_But?"_

"I'm scared I'll lose you when you do."

"Akane-"

She pulled away, looking him in the eye, "I mean it. It's nice like this, but that's because nobody's trying to kill, kidnap, fight or marry one of us. When you go back to being you, and everyone sees us together…it's going to get so hard again."

He pulled her close again, tucking her head back under his chin and giving her a gentle squeeze. He could say a million different things to try and pacify the situation, but he didn't have the answers to make her happy. He knew that much, and deep down, he knew that she did, too. Heaving out a sigh, he pressed her closer to his heart.

"I don't want you thinkin' I won't try harder, now that I know what I should be tryin' ta shoot for."

She listened with her ear to his chest, his words mixing with his heartbeat, and thought that she would never forget the way it felt right then. If there were going to be rough times when she would have her doubts, this would be the moment she would hold onto and remind herself that she needed to have faith in him and pull through. Taking in a long, slow breath, she gave him a squeeze, "Let's get you some food, before it gets too cold."

"You sure?" he whispered back, his grip unwavering, "I mean, I could just skip dinner and stay like this."

Letting out a laugh, she gently untangled their arms, "With your metabolism, I think you'd be dead if you missed a meal."

He lowered his head, his eyes beckoning her through the shadows, "I'd miss you more than any meal, Akane."

Blushing, she pushed him playfully in the shoulder, "Oh, please!"

"No, really," he leaned closer, " 'cause you're such a _dish_…get it? Dish?"

She moaned. "That was sooo baaad, Ranma. Ugh, I think your sense of humor just hit a new low."

"Hey," he teased, still grinning, "you know ya liked it."

Giving him a long, blank stare, she shook her head, "You must be starving, otherwise you'd be able to see that your little pun was lame. Come on downstairs, I'll go with you."

Rising up after her, he caught her hand, "Well if you're going, how's a guy supposed ta say no?"

Moving silently through the darkened house, the duo made their way to the kitchen. Beside the sink were a few containers of food, stacked neatly to one side with a pair of chopsticks balanced on top.

"Let's eat in here," he whispered, pulling her with him to the floor behind the cover of the counter.

"Just eat fast," Akane smirked, seeing that he was already halfway through the first container. Looking up with a smile, he mumbled around his full mouth, "I can do that."

Shaking her head, she rose to her hands and knees to peek around the corner and keep watch. A few minutes later, just as Ranma was placing his finished dishes in the sink, she saw a shadow move down the hall. Pulling back she clamped a hand over Ranma's mouth and pointed over her shoulder, whispering in a voice just barely audible, "Someone's there!"

Cocking an eyebrow, he leaned close with a smirk, "You gotta erase your presence so we can disappear. Don't think about anything and try an' clear your head."

Pulling back, she scrunched her shoulder up to her ear, "Then don't whisper so close, it tickles!"

He moved in close again, being sure to keep a small distance from her ear this time. "I'm serious! Imagine your body's like a river and, kinda, let everything just flow in and outta ya…can you do that?"

She was about to argue when a floorboard creaked closer than before. Looking up, she gave a hesitant nod.

'_Good,'_ he mouthed, holding up three fingers. Confused for a moment, she watched as he dropped one.

'_Two…'_

She closed her eyes, feeling as he slipped his hands under her legs and lifted her into the air.

'_I'm a river,'_ she repeated desperately, trying to keep the thoughts and feelings about her current situation flowing through her and away. She squeezed her eyes tighter, noting that he'd begun carrying her out of the room. Cracking an eye she stole a peek at Ranma, looking so focused as he moved that it was hard to believe he lacked the ability to summon that same focus in so many other aspects of his life, like school.

Then, unable to resist, she glanced behind them at their stalker. Silhouetted by a shaft of moonlight stood Ranma's body, poised for a battle that would never come. He began to look wildly from side-to-side, balling his fists as he realized he'd lost once again.

"I'm never giving you that damned jewel, Ranma!" he swore in a low growl, nearly punching the counter top in his frustration.

Akane's mouth dropped open, _'He DOES have it!' _

Before she had the chance to dwell on that thought, she squeezed her eyes closed and resumed her mantra; _'I'm a river, I'm a river…keep on flowing!' _

"You did good," came Ranma's voice, so close she would have jumped if she hadn't been in his arms. Her eyes popping open, she realized they were safely back in her room. "Thanks to you," she said with a small smile.

"Just glad it worked," he grinned back, lowering her to the floor. "You should get some sleep, though, you got a pretty big day tomorrow…not that it's anything to worry about!"

Rising to her tiptoes, she kissed him on the cheek, whispering a gentle, "Thanks, again."

His hand lifting to his face, he blinked several times before coming back to his senses.

"Man, I gotta try this 'honesty' and 'kindness' thing more often!"

"It has it's rewards," she shrugged.

* * *

><p><em>AN: And FINALLY, I get this tidbit done-ish. I was going to add more, but honestly, I've made you wait long enough! _

_Let me know how I did with a little 'ol review, and I'll try a little harder to get the next chapter out faster. It's full of awkward moments and deceptions with our very own Miss Nabiki Tendo…you know you want it!_

**Next time: Ordained in the Membrane **


	10. Ordained in the Membrane

This one goes out to my sweet little Bee; I'm so sorry I was never courageous enough to share this with you. I can only pray that in our next lives, I'll be fortunate enough to love you all over again.

* * *

><p><em>Our Story Thus Far:<em>

_Ryoga got his hands on a soul-swapping jewel,_

_And now's engaged to Akane, for which he drooled._

_But Ranma's not out and down for the count,_

_And Akane's no fool, (she's figured them out!)_

_So read on, my friends, read on and see,_

_What can become of this tomfoolery!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>LAST TIME on Opposite Attraction…<strong>_

"_No, dear Ranma," Nabiki said, "what I want from you is information. Where's the jewel?"_

_He cocked an eyebrow, "I don't got it." She looked at Akane, who shook her head no. _

"_So Ryoga _is_ the lucky man… interesting. Almost didn't think he had it in him." _

"_Ryoga doesn't have it," Akane nearly choked, her habit of giving him the benefit of a doubt rising to the surface. _

"_Would make more sense if he did," Ranma shrugged. "It did disappear right after we were in your room, Akane."_

"_But, but he's not like that," she all but whined, her new, more accurate image of him making it more than obvious that she was most likely wrong. "All right," Akane conceded, "maybe he is. So, what are we going to do to get it back?"_

_Nabiki smirked, "That, my friends, leads us to the second part of my plan. And not to worry, Ranma, I have a part for you in this little play, too."_

* * *

><p><strong>Opposite Attraction<strong>

**Disclaimer: Hold your screen up to the light. If a watermark does NOT appear, this story is a counterfeit. **

**Chapter 10: Ordained in the Membrane**

* * *

><p>Laid out before Ryoga was a long table full of ingredients, cooking utensils, tabletop burners and young women half-heartedly vying for the right to call him their own.<p>

Furthest to his left was Kodachi, then Ukyo and Shampoo, yet they all seemed to be there out of habit only. Hardly glancing his way, Shampoo folded her arms and let out a sigh. Noticing that, and the eerie quiet that had settled over the usually lively bunch, Ukyo moved her eyes to covertly take in the Amazon before sighing herself. Stealing a quick, unimpressed glance at 'Ranma', she couldn't shake the sense that something was horribly off about him, and she was glad to see she hadn't been the only one to notice.

Oblivious to the tides shifting before him, Ryoga scanned over the lineup of prospective brides-to-be and silently thanked the universe for putting Akane directly in front of him; watching her was so much easier with a front row seat. His eyes lingering on her for a long moment, he reluctantly moved them to the…girl…beside her. Walking over to the sidelines, he leaned down to Kasumi and whispered, "Uh, next to Akane san…who is that, exactly?"

"You don't recall who _she_ is?" she asked, catching Nabiki's eye with a look of desperation. They hadn't gone over a back story for the girl that Ranma was currently pretending to be, and Kasumi's strong points didn't exactly include lying and cheating_._ Picking up on her sister's silent cry for help, Nabiki stepped close to the pair.

"Don't tell me you forgot all about your latest conquest, Dear? Really now, I appreciate a man who knows how to catch a woman, but when there are too many to remember, perhaps you've gone too far."

Turning to the real Ranma she called out, "Seems he's forgotten you, _Ryoko!_"

Unaware of the sudden attention on him, Ranma readjusted his shoulder length wig and was about to push up his stuffed-and-borrowed bra before Akane caught hold of his hand.

"Uh, _Ryoko,_" she gritted through a forced smile, "I believe they're calling you!"

"Ryoko?" Ranma asked, completely lost as he looked up to see all eyes on him. "Who's R-rrright here! Ryoko, that's me!" Pointing at Ryoga playfully, he smiled, "That's the name my parent's gave me!"

Following Ryoga's unsure stare, he looked down at his arms and grimaced; the way his muscles played under the skin, they were a far cry from feminine.

"Boxing Club!" he added quickly, tossing Ryoga a wink, "That's why I couldn't ignore a total knockout like you!"

"Ohmygod!" Akane gasped beside him, throwing a hand over her mouth to hide her smile. Coughing to cover the laugh that had slipped out before she could stop it, she dropped her head and busied herself with organizing her cooking station.

"Laa-aame!" she chided while her face was still hidden.

"Move stuff around all ya want, Tomboy," Ranma teased back with a flip of his wig, "ain't gonna help your cooking any."

Letting out a small grumble, Akane glared at her fiancé-now-in-contention, then cupped a hand to her mouth. "Hey, Ranma, isn't Ryoko's body simply _amazing?!_ I mean, just look at those hips! Perfect for birthing you some sons!"

"Maybe _don't_ call so much attention to the guy in drag!" Ranma hissed at her from the corner of his mouth.

"Oh please! Don't act like you're trying something new!"

"Hey!" he snapped back, finally giving his bra a much needed adjustment. Lowering his voice, he cupped his fake breasts and grumbled, "I don't usually gotta _borrow_ these things! Besides," he gave his false breasts another squeeze, "mine are still bigger than yours."

"You're a total jerk," she quipped, "and Ryoga's still watching."

Lifting his eyes, Ranma caught Ryoga in a full blush.

"How the hell can he blush at _himself?" _he groaned in disgust, releasing his chest, "I think I'm gonna be sick."

"_You_ liked your mirror double…" Akane grinned back.

"That was a girl, and no I didn't. She liked me."

"Oh?" Akane huffed. "I don't recall you pushing her away."

"Did too!" he shot back defensively.

"When? With _my _fist?"

Ranma turned to face her, "Now listen here, you-"

"A-hem, _ladies_," Nabiki cut in, "save the battle for the battlefield, shall we?" Giving them a look of warning, she then turned away and raised a hand into the air.

"And now, before the contest begins, the last contestant!"

Shampoo and Ukyo, eerily silent as they found themselves less than ambitious about 'winning' Ranma, each took a quick, rather uncaring glance at the empty space in the line-up, then returned their attention to Nabiki as she continued.

"You all know her, some of you actually like her! The glorious, marvelous, wonderful…me."

"_YOU?"_ several voices rang out in unison as the other fiancés stared disbelievingly at the middle Tendo.

"Afraid so," she shrugged, strolling to the empty place on the contestants' row. "Ever since that time we kissed, Ranma baby, I haven't been able to get you out of my head."

"Nabiki…" Akane said softly, then her fist clenched. "You KISSED Ranma?"

The other girls suddenly found themselves caught in varying stages of quiet emotional turmoil. As of late, 'Ranma' was proving to be less and less something that any of them felt compelled to actually fight over. Growing increasingly unsure if they should, much less _wanted_ anything to do with him, they instead left it to Akane and Nabiki to sort out on their own. Helplessly, their heads bounced from one sister to the other as they watched the Tendos go at it in a tennis match of wits.

"Oh!" Nabiki gasped dramatically, throwing a hand over her mouth, "I'm sorry, Akane, I didn't mean for you to find out like this. It was just an accident…at first."

"At _first?"_ Akane almost growled, her jaw muscles working under the skin. "This _accident_, it happened more than once?"

Nabiki threw the back of her hand across her forehead, "Akane, how can you ever forgive me?"

"I probably _can't!_" Reaching for a large wooden spoon, Akane brandished it menacingly at her sister.

"Cheating on his fiancé," Nodoka whispered over-eagerly to Kasumi, "sounds as if my son is _quite _the _man!_"

Stealing a glance at Ranma in drag, Kasumi smiled nervously, "Oh, quite."

"Girls," Soun spoke up, rising to his feet as his daughters' bickering intensified. "I believe we're losing sight of the true reason that we're all here today-"

"Stay out of this, Daddy!" Akane snapped, sending Soun back to his seat.

"My little girl yelled at me again," he began to sob, earning him a pat on the shoulder from Kasumi. "She's only angry, Father, you know she didn't mean it."

"Don't take it so hard, Akane," Nabiki said suddenly, her dramatics lost as quickly as they'd come. "We only kissed recently, _very_ recently."

"…Really?" Akane asked after a long pause.

Nabiki smiled and winked, "Do these lips lie?"

Opening her mouth to retort, Akane froze as a hand clamped on her shoulder, "You really gonna keep this up? You know what we're doin', for crying out loud!" Ranma hissed from beside her.

"_You!_" she growled, knocking his hand away as she turned to him, "This had better all be fake!"

"Save it for the contest, Sweetheart!" he cut in loud enough for everyone to hear. Flipping his wig, he whispered "Shut it!" through his teeth.

"Fine," Akane conceded grudgingly, her anger still boiling away not so silently under the surface.

Nabiki smirked as she watched the pair, then looked to either side at her competition and lifted her arm into the air, "And now, a few rules."

Shampoo, looking less amused than before, let out a humorless chuckle. "What? You tell us we have to eat what Akane make?"

Instantly, Ranma's grip tightened on Akane's shoulder, pulling her back like a dog on a leash. "Let it go," he said quietly, his breath rustling her hair. Turning slightly toward him, she found he was mere inches from her face. Smirking down at her, he passed his fingertips briefly over her chin, "Just 'cause she can cook doesn't mean I want what she's cookin'."

"I-I guess…" she answered softly, dropping her face as a blush painted her cheeks.

"I like what _you_ bring to the table, though," he added with a nudge, "and especially what you bring _off_ of the table." Beginning to laugh, she threw a hand to her mouth and turned away, only to find everyone watching them. Again. Nabiki's eyebrows rose in amusement.

"You two sure are close," Ukyo commented slowly, her eyes darting between the pair with growing suspicion. "And I've never seen you around school, either…how do you know each other?"

Akane cleared her throat and stood up taller, "I helped train her. Here. At the dojo. She was a student."

"You do boxing, too?"

Akane stared at Ukyo, "All the time."

"Enough with the introductions," Ranma interrupted, draping an arm over Akane's shoulder, "is this about us or about you guys and Ranma? It ain't a get together, it's a competition!"

Ukyo shrugged and looked away, unimpressed.

"The uh, _rules_, Nabiki san," Ranma said anxiously, wanting to get out of the limelight, and his bra, as soon as possible.

"Oh, whatever," Nabiki said with a dismissive wave of her hand, "you girls never follow them anyway. Just start cooking, _try_ not to kill anyone, and don't destroy our house." Looking over at Ryoga, she motioned toward the chair set in front of Akane, "You should sit, don't want you to miss any of the action, now."

With a guilty smile, Ryoga quickly moved away from Kasumi and the rest of the family to take his seat, the one that put him so close to his true love. Letting out a sigh, he smiled at how much luck he'd gained by simply being Ranma.

Before him, Akane furrowed her brow and dug into a bag of groceries, pressing her lips together in concentration as she removed a pack of sushi wrappers, frozen shrimp, fresh red chili peppers, several bottles of liquid and a container of rice.

"What'cha making there?" Ranma asked quietly, organizing his own ingredients. Still concentrating intently on her preparations, Akane set out a pot of water to boil.

"If you must know, I wanted to keep it simple so I didn't look stupid," she hissed at him, "so I'm going to make onigiri and seaweed salad. I'm _pretty sure_ even I can make that!"

Watching in dawning horror, Ranma's eyes widened as she began cutting the seaweed sushi wrappers into strips.

"Akane…?" he began hesitantly. "What, um, what're you using that for?"

"It has to rehydrate," she explained with a cocked eyebrow, "for the seaweed salad? Come on, I'm not that dense at this sort of thing!"

"Of course not," he mocked, scratching his temple as he fought internally over helping Akane or just doing what he was here to do. If he helped, there was a higher chance of her food actually being chosen by Ryoga, who was already dumb enough to eat her cooking. Not helping left her vulnerable to more insults from the other fiancées about her lack of culinary skills, not to mention keeping Akane _un_engaged to Ranma. Shooting an irritated look at Nabiki, Ranma had to wonder what exactly was going through her mind with _this_ little scheme.

"Now what else is in this stuff?" Akane wondered aloud, dropping several handful's of the strips into her now boiling water. Ranma shook his head.

"Well, usually there's some pepper flakes, sesame seeds, vinegar-"

"Oh, I forgot the vinegar!" Akane gasped, looking up suddenly. "Oneechan, is there still a bottle under the bathroom sink?"

Kasumi blinked. "The _vinegar?_" she said with a start, "It, it's in the kitchen…with the food."

"_That_ explains a few things," Ranma said with a gulp. Looking at her pot as it overflowed, he cleared his throat, "Why don't we turn that down a little."

Watching him adjust the flame, Akane pressed the back of her long cooking chopsticks to her lips, "Why'd you do that?"

"'Cause it was overflowing. You gotta turn it down to stop it."

"Hmmm," she nodded briefly in amazement as her cooking went down to a simmering, rather than _writhing,_ pot of muck. "I'm impressed."

"Ya should be," he smirked, reaching into his bag of supplies and removing a package of dried seaweed. "For future reference, this is the seaweed that gets rehydrated, not that stuff."

Lifting her eyes, she gave him an adorable stare, then took the bag from his hands. "Would you mind if I used this?" she asked timidly.

"Sure, just don't put a lot…"

She upended it over her pot.

"That stuff get's pretty big, you know," he said with a hint of agitation.

"Oh don't worry so much! It was such a little bag, how much could it _possibly_ make?" She flashed him such a cute smile that he almost wanted to believe she had a plan. A few moments later, as the seaweed began to grow, spill out of the pot and start a small fire, he reaffirmed his belief that she, in fact, did not.

"How did _that_ happen?" she balked, reaching out and grabbing a nearby bottle. "Nobody panic, I've got this!"

In seemingly slow motion Ranma read the writing on the bottle in her hand, the one being dumped on the fire to extinguish it…the bottle of cooking oil he was planning to use for tempura.

"Wait, no!" he shouted, grabbing her around the waist and pulling them both under his table as a fireball erupted on hers. When the whoosh of flames had died down, he loosened his hold on her.

"Are ya hurt anywhere?" he nearly shouted, still protectively crouching over her. Under the cover of the table cloth, he ran his hands over her face and down her arms as he gave her a once-over to be sure she was all right. Stopping with a relieved sigh, he rolled off and sat on his butt, pinching the bridge of his nose with a pained expression.

"I swear, I am gonna _kill_ Nabiki for this!" he muttered, "What the hell was she even _thinking _?"

Lying on her back in shock, Akane shakily passed her hands through her hair before rolling her head to the side to look at him.

"I think you just saved my face…literally," she breathed, "what _was _that stuff?"

"Oil! Why don't you ever take the time to read when you're cooking?"

"I DO take the time to read," she shouted back, then grew more timid. "I thought oil would smother the fire out, but I guess that's only when you have a salt fire."

"A salt…NO!" Ranma yelled back. "Reverse that, baka!"

Biting her lips, she sat up and reached forward, smacking him several times on the side of his head. He could do little more than stare and wonder why she was being so gentle when she leaned away with a sheepish grin.

"Your wig was on fire…my bad."

It took another few ticks of the clock, but slowly he began to smile, then laugh.

"You set me on fire?" he chuckled, "Talk about a _hot_ temper, Akane!"

She blinked, then let out a laugh of her own. "I did, I totally burned you!"

"Seriously! I mean, wow! And here I thought _you_ were the hot-headed one!"

"_You're_ the one with flaming red hair!" she shot back, poking him in the chest as they both fell into a fit of hysterics.

A sudden, angry scream from above stopped them laughing in their tracks. Popping their heads above the table, Akane and Ranma looked through the flames as Shampoo let out a string of profanity in Mandarin, her hands on her face. When she was finished stomping and cursing, she turned and stormed away, shouting, "That it, I donefor _good!_ Airen not worth these troubles!"

Confused, the two culprits gave each other sideways glances before their thoughts were cut short by Kasumi's fire extinguisher.

"Akane, really," she scolded, "you and that temper of yours! You've gone and singed Shampoo's eyebrows off!"

Watching the other girl leave, and considering her own fate, Kodachi calmly repacked her utensils, turned and bowed. "I believe it is time for me to take my leave," she said politely. Leaping onto the rooftops in a flurry of laughter and petals, she called back, "Farewell, Ranma sama! Perhaps we shall meet again in another life!"

With the competition fading fast, Ukyo turned her attention to 'Ryoko' and Akane as they rose from behind the table. With a shrug she holstered her spatulas and gave a quick wave; the party was over. She'd only been here to rub the other girls' faces in defeat, and with her rivals gone there was no reason to stay, she really could care less about the actual prize.

"See ya in class," she called out as she began her walk home, "you all can keep the food…and Ranchan."

"What just happened?" Akane asked when the last of them was out of sight.

"You should be happy," Nabiki grinned wickedly, "the interlopers are gone, I assume for good, and now I don't need to drug _him_."

"What…?" Akane turned toward the place where her sister was looking and gasped. Ryoga, his seat previously so close to Akane's station, had been blown back several feet and now lay in an unconscious heap on the ground. On his forehead was an indentation in the shape of the lid to her pot.

"Oh no!" Akane gasped, spinning to the rest of the family, "I, that, it wasn't on purpose!"

"I knew if I put you in the kitchen you'd eventually knock _someone_ out, but you really out performed yourself," Nabiki said rather proudly.

Surveying her unconscious son, Nodoka threw a withering glare at her husband, who immediately shrank back in fear.

"N-n-now really," he stammered, "you can't hold anyone accountable for a weakness like this, it was an explosion in his face!"

"He lost to a pot," she stated in a warning tone, her hand resting lightly on the hilt of her katana. Genma pulled his head impossibly further into his shoulders, "We'll begin training tomorrow, not to worry, my Darling!"

Her hand moving away to rest on her knees once more, she gave a small nod of approval.

Rising from his seat, Genma strode toward Ryoga. "I'll take the boy up to bed, now. He'll need his rest for tomorrow, when I'll be training him…vigorously. Man amongst men!"

Slowly the family dispersed, taking down the other cooking stations and heading inside as the afternoon dragged on. All except two.

"See," Ranma cheered, "you made rice!"

Running the back of her hand across her brow, Akane stared incredulously at the pot of rice before her. "I, I _did_, didn't I!"

"Now scoop some out onto a piece of plastic wrap and we can make it into onigiri. What were ya gonna put in them?"

Wringing her hands, she fidgeted as she answered, "Well, what's _your_ favorite filling?"

"Mine…they're for _me_?!" he squeaked. She blushed and nodded.

"Uh, well, pickled plum, usually."

"I don't have it," she answered quietly. "Oh, but I can just run inside and probably get some. You know Kasumi, she always has _everything_."

Grabbing her hand as she turned to leave, he tugged her back, "Whatever ya got, I'm sure I'll like it."

"Really?" she asked hopefully. Pulling out the bag of pre-cooked frozen shrimp, she smiled, "Even this?"

"Sure. How were you gonna cook it?"

"_Cook_ it? But it says _pre-cooked._"

Ranma cleared his throat, "It also says _frozen_."

"Well that's just false advertising!" she sulked, folding her arms with a huff. Hesitating, Ranma stepped forward and awkwardly pulled her into a loose hug.

"It ain't about the filling, Akane. Onigiri's about enjoying good rice."

Letting out a chuckle, she pressed her forehead into his chest, "That sounds too insightful to be a Ranma original, where'd you hear that?"

"Read it on the internet," he laughed. Feeling her arms circle around him, he let out a sigh, watching the sun grow heavy on the horizon. "How 'bout we finish up, it's gettin' a little cool out here. I don't want you sick again, even though that _was_ fun ta watch…now that I think about it, maybe I do!"

She squeezed him harder, "You jerk! Don't have too much fun at my expense."

Pulling back, she looked up at him with a determined grin and lifted a wooden spoon, "Let's go! I'm almost done making something you'll actually eat, and I'm not throwing that chance away anytime soon!"

Watching her scoop out the rice, then form it into triangles before finishing each one off with a strip of seaweed wrapping, Ranma suddenly had a flash of what his future with her could actually be like. This was one of the first times they were being completely honest with each other, maybe _the _first time, and it felt good.

Turning away, she finished making the last one in secret. Peeking over her shoulder with a playful grin, she asked, "Are you ready, Judge Ranma?"

With a chuckle he lifted Ryoga's chair, brushed it off and sat down, "As ready as I'll ever be."

Her eyes wide with hopeful anticipation, she turned to reveal her plate. In the center were two onigiri with a third standing upright on top, and she'd taken the time to form that one into a heart.

Ranma stared at it for a long moment, having difficulty seeing Akane as the type to make something so cute. As his eyes rose to meet hers, she withered, "You hate it."

She set the dish down and sighed. "I know it's cliché, but I thought I'd try it out… just once to see how it felt."

Standing, he lifted the heart-shaped rice ball over his head with one hand and her arm in the other, calling out in an announcer's voice, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!"

"Y-you _like_ it?" she stammered in disbelief.

"Like it?" he asked back, looping his arm around her waist and twirling them in a circle slowly, "I don't even want to eat it, it's so wonderful!"

Laughing as they came to a halt, she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tight. After several moments had passed, she pulled her head back, "But you _are_ going to eat it, though, right?"

…

Ryoga slowly cracked one eye open in the darkened room, then the other, immediately coming to the conclusion that attempting to see was a mistake. Squeezing his eyelids shut, he let out a moan as a headache roared to life.

"Why…?" he wondered weakly, "Why did she try to kill me?"

"Looking for another round _already?_" came a sultry drawl from too close beside him, "You animal!"

"Another round of _what?_" he asked tiredly, then paused; something was wrong. VERY wrong.

"Nabiki?"

Feeling a hand slide across his chest, Nabiki answered with a whisper in his ear, "Yes, Ranma Baby?"

Scrambling backward out of his futon he hit the wall, instantly folding into a miserable heap while regretting every movement he'd just made. "Wh-_why_ am I in bed with you?" he moaned pathetically.

"On our wedding night? Why Darling, why _wouldn't _we be in bed together?" Nabiki answered with a calculated amount of silkiness added to every word. Reaching to the side she lit a candle, being sure to allow the covers to slip down enough to reveal one smooth, bare shoulder in the process.

His eyes going wide despite the pain it caused, Ryoga took an uneasy look down at himself and nearly went unconscious once more; he was in the smallest pair of men's underwear he'd ever seen. And from the feel of it, there was less fabric in the back. Quickly pulling at the blanket, he watched in horror as it revealed a second naked shoulder on Nabiki, who laughed coyly and tugged the cover away from him again.

"Don't get shy on me now," she purred, lifting a pair of handcuffs wrapped in red velvet from behind her back, "the night's still young."

…

Down the hall Akane sat and stared intently at Ranma, who stared just as earnestly back.

"You helped me make them!" she complained, pushing the plate of onigiri across her bedroom floor at him. "Why won't you eat any?"

"Don't know," he said, pushing it back toward her, "but some sorta survival instinct is telling me to leave them alone."

"That's stupid, are we really going to do this _all_ night?"

"If it's so dumb, why don't _you_ try 'em?"

"They were specially made for _you,_" she complained, "you need to take the first bite!"

"Oh, I'll take the first bite, all right!" he grinned wickedly, reaching out suddenly and pulling her across his lap. "Should I take it from here or here or here? SO many choices!" he teased, poking her in several spots on her sides. Attempting to escape, she squirmed in vain while falling into a fit of hysterics. Pausing, Ranma began to bring his head down toward her, "This spot looks good."

"Aah, stop!" she squealed as he descended, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck. Her laughter coming to an abrupt halt as his lips touched her skin, she sucked in a sharp breath and clamped her hand over her mouth.

Feeling her back arch in his arms, Ranma pulled up slowly, "Akane…you okay?"

Her eyes fluttering in time with her heart, she realized she needed to start breathing and close her gaping mouth before he got suspicious as to how much he'd just affected her.

"I, uh…yeah," she said with a shiver. Noticing her nuclear blush, he arched an eyebrow and began to close in on her once more. Immediately throwing her hands up between them, Akane pushed back on his chest.

"NO! No, I don't think you should do that again."

"But you wanted me to take a bite, remember?" he taunted in a throaty whisper, lightly biting his bottom lip. It was almost her undoing.

"Stop it!" she cried, screwing her eyes shut and pushing his face away. Rolling out of his lap, she desperately waved her hands behind herself. "I do NOT want you doing anything like that again," she cried, keeping her back to him, "not until you get your own body back!"

Feeling his fingers close around her wrist, she slowly turned as he pulled her close. Meeting his eyes, she felt her breathing quicken at the way he was smiling. "It's a promise, Akane. I got a _lotta_ stuff to catch up on when I'm me again," he waggled an eyebrow, "and I, for one, can't wait."

"Me neither," she sighed, then caught herself. Frowning, she poked him in the chest, "You're tricking me…somehow."

"_Tricking_ you, ta do what?" he laughed. Absently his thumb began to stroke the back of the hand he was still holding, she noticed, her body sinking into another betraying blush before she pulled away.

"Yes, tricking me to feel like this!" she blurted out hotly, her cheeks getting a deeper shade of crimson with each passing moment.

"I sure hope this ain't a trick, otherwise I'm getting screwed pretty bad here, too," he said quietly.

"Not that part, dummy," she giggled, stroking his cheek with the back of her hand. "I don't like you doing all this as Ryoga, I still want to smash him into the dirt for everything he did. If you keep doing what you're doing, and you're doing it well I might add, I'm not so sure I'll be able to really give him all he deserves."

"So you like what I'm doin'?" he grinned, earning him a gentle smack across the face. Opening her mouth to give him a deeper sense of what she felt, a scream from down the hall cut her short.

"What was that?" she asked, drawing closer to him. With a sinister smile, Ranma began to laugh.

"I helped get Ryoga ready for bed…I take it he's awake."

…

"Handcuffs?" Ryoga yelped, "What are you doing with _those?"_

"Not to worry, no one's getting arrested, if that's what you're worried about," Nabiki answered, beginning to twirl them around on her finger. "Although, we might just do a few things that could be seen as illegal, depending on how conservative you are."

Scrambling toward the door, Ryoga's escape was cut short by several quick knocks from the other side.

"We're here, Nabiki san," came Ryoga's own voice from the hallway, "and we brought the camera!"

'_Ranma!'_ the lost boy growled to himself, sure that all blame for his current predicament could be traced back to his nemesis…somehow.

"I invited them in case you had a little performance anxiety," Nabiki said, rather calmly, Ryoga decided, considering the situation. After a moment's thought he looked up, "Wait, did you say '_them_'?"

"We also have some whipped cream," sang Akane's voice, right on cue. "Regular and chocolate, in case you want to try something new! Can we come in now?"

"NO, not Akane san!" Ryoga nearly screamed. Looking down at himself and his attire, he grabbed the door to keep it closed and turned on Nabiki, "What did you do to make her behave this way?"

"She lost a bet," the older girl shrugged. Dropping her eyes to the ground, she added quietly, "The truth is, I was too shy to do this alone, Darling."

"It's so cold out here in this skimpy lingerie," Akane pouted cutely as she pressed her ear to the door, "please let us in?"

An image of Akane in her red underwear flashing through his mind, Ranma felt the hall begin to get a little warm. Knowing Ryoga, he'd already have dreamed up several scenarios concerning Akane and '_scantily clad'_, and the thought of him actually getting to make those dreams a reality didn't seem to be something that would necessarily scare him away. Quite the opposite, actually.

Sensing his rival's convictions beginning to waver and call them on their bluff, Ranma quickly added, "Don't forget that today's Same-sex Sunday, it's me an' you tonight, Ranma honey!"

Akane bit her knuckles to keep from laughing, "Or maybe you can try something else, like your cursed form and Ryoga? Bet _that_ video would be popular, Ranma!"

Hearing a sudden crash, Nabiki called out to them, "You can come in, seems our guest doesn't like Sundays."

Peeking their heads through the door, Akane grinned at her sister, "Worked just like you said it would, Neechan."

"Obviously," she replied evenly.

"Yeah, but what now?" Ranma asked.

"Well now, if he doesn't _beg_ you to switch back," Nabiki blew out the candle, "I simply don't know what else to do."

"I find _that_ hard to believe," he said calmly. Flashing a knowing smirk, she re-shouldered the straps of her tank top and rose from the futon.

"If he's still not cooperating, let me know. I _may _still have an ace up my sleeve."

"Thanks," Akane smiled, placing a hand on her sister's arm as she walked past.

Staring out of the broken window, Ranma chuckled and turned toward Akane, "That idiot's gonna regret messin' with us, you should see what he's wearing!"

Pausing thoughtfully, Akane pursed her lips, "He's outside now."

"Yeah!" Ranma agreed enthusiastically.

"In public…"

"I KNOW, it's freakin' fantastic! I don't know how he's even gonna show his face after all this!"

"But it's _your_ face, Ranma."

He paused for a long moment, then ran a hand over his face. "Dammit! We need ta find that jackass before anyone sees him!"

…

_A/N: Life stepped up it's game, then stepped up onto the back of my neck and ground my face in it these last few months. So, if there's anyone/thing to be blamed for delaying this chapter, I call "Not it!" In all seriousness, I do apologize for disappearing for a bit. Thank you for sticking with me!_

_Hope you all enjoyed the holidays, and this chapter. Let me know what you thought with a review!_

**NEXT TIME: Tripping Out of Town**


	11. Tripping Out of Town

_The "Story Thus Far" Hokey-Pokey!_

_You put Ryoga in, he wants Ranma out,_

_Toss a Soul-swapping Jewel in_

_And you shake it all about!_

_Try to cover up your tracks_

_And hope Akane doesn't find out;_

_That's what the story's about!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>LAST TIME on Opposite Attraction…<strong>_

"_Wh-why am I in bed with you?" Ryoga moaned pathetically._

"_On our wedding night? Why Darling, why wouldn't we be in bed together?" Nabiki answered with a calculated amount of silkiness added to every word. Reaching to the side she lit a candle, being sure to allow the covers to slip down enough to reveal one smooth, bare shoulder in the process. _

_His eyes going wide despite the pain it caused, Ryoga took an uneasy look down at himself and nearly went unconscious once more; he was in the smallest pair of men's underwear he'd ever seen. And from the feel of it, there was less fabric in the back. Quickly pulling at the blanket, he watched in horror as it revealed a second naked shoulder on Nabiki, who laughed coyly and tugged the cover away from him again._

"_Don't get shy on me now," she purred, lifting a pair of handcuffs wrapped in red velvet from behind her back, "the night's still young."_

*And so Ryoga raaan, he ran so far a-waaayyy!*

* * *

><p><strong>Opposite Attraction<strong>

**Disclaimer: The information contained in this story is for general purposes only. I make no endeavor to keep it up to date and correct, no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, or suitability to the reader. Any reliance you place on such information is therefore strictly at your own risk. **

**Chapter 11: Tripping Out of Town**

* * *

><p>After having given up on muttering and cursing his eternal misfortune, Ryoga sat huddled in a garbage collection site, rummaging through the refuse in hopes of finding something warmer than his current attire of almost nothing to wear. Aside from some cardboard, his choices were bleak.<p>

Above his head a cat mewed inquiringly, uncertain as to what a human could possibly want with anything in its usual playground. Letting out an irritated huff, Ryoga looked up.

"You don't know what it's like," he grumbled to the curious feline who, having received his attention, suddenly found him much less interesting. "My entire life has been one accursed thing after another ever since I met him. Now I _am_ him and I still can't win!"

The cat, having concluded that he was not only unthreatening but in its way, leapt down beside him and let out a long meow.

"What are you complaining about, at least you have fur! I'm hopelessly lost and freezing my barely-covered ass off."

Then an idea struck him.

"Hey there kitty," he cooed, holding his hand out, "nice, _warm_ little kitty! Why don't you come here for a sec?"

The cat, recalling its domestic life before it had moved on to the freedoms of the streets, sniffed, then rubbed its cheek along Ryoga's fingers. "That's right, you can trust me…now come here and sit in Uncle Ryoga's lap. I'm just a stranger in his underwear who wants to snuggle with you, nothing scary at all!"

For a moment the smaller creature panicked as it was lifted, but when its paw pads felt the heat of Ryoga's skin, all thoughts of leaving gave way to simply enjoying a warm nap. Hearing it begin to purr, Ryoga settled down and breathed a sigh of contentment with his new, living blanket.

…

Several blocks away Ranma ran hand-in-hand with Akane, searching for his body and praying they found it before someone else did.

"I swear," he said through his teeth, "if that idiot does anything stupid, I'm gonna-"

"_Anything stupid?_" Akane choked out beside him incredulously. "What part of this _hasn't_ been stupid, Ranma? You switched bodies with Ryoga then tried to trick me so I wouldn't find out and get mad at you, and what did that accomplish?"

He turned his head slightly toward her, letting out a defeated sigh as she glared back.

"I'm always _mad_ at you," she began to yell, "because of stupid things like _this!" _

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled in return, squeezing her hand infinitesimally tighter, "sorry."

Nearly stumbling, Akane let out a laugh. "Did you just say _sorry?_! An honest apology from the great Ranma Saotome…I, I didn't think you knew how!"

Rolling his eyes, he shook his head. "I can take it back, you know. In fact, I think I just might."

"If you know what's good for you, you won't!" she snipped, her face growing serious.

Before he could open his mouth to start a new fight, a sudden blast of wind hit into them and caused Akane to let out a tiny gasp. Immediately Ranma went into defense mode, wrapping an arm across her shoulders and pulling her around the nearest corner.

"I don't think we're gonna find him like this," he sighed, putting his back to the wind and protectively caging her in with his arms.

Allowing herself a brief moment of indulgence, Akane let her head rest against his chest, closing her eyes and listening to his heart. She was thankful that Ryoga hadn't had any winter supplies as his body was currently wearing Ranma's coat and clothes, making Ranma _smell_ like Ranma rather than someone Akane would rather clobber than kiss. Without thought, her arms circled his waist and squeezed him as she sank deeper into her fantasy.

"You cold?" he asked, taking a step closer.

"Warmer than you'd think," she murmured dreamily, then her eyes shot open. Meeting his gaze with a guilty look, she blushed and stammered, "I'm, uh, yeah. I'm a little cold."

"We should get you back inside, I can always come out on my own and look for him. I don't think _you _can find him, anyway."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" she asked, wrinkling her brow.

"If you liked someone, Akane, and you were runnin' around naked," he raised his eyebrows, "would you willingly let 'em see you like that?"

"Oh," she gasped, "you're right! I didn't even think about how _you_ felt in all this!"

"…Huh?"

Rising to her tiptoes, she brought her face close and whispered, "You don't have to be shy, I've seen you naked before."

"Whoa, back up a second there, Sherlock." Lifting his hands to her shoulders, he pushed her back to the ground, "I was talking about _Ryoga_, not me."

"But-"

"I ain't afraid of you seeing _my_ awesome body, Akane. I'd be more afraid for you, y'know, not being able to keep away from it," he finished with a smug grin, folding his arms across his chest.

"Oh _really,_" she said, matching his stance. "I've seen you and Mousse and Ryoga _all_ in various stages of nakedness and never once had a noticeable reaction."

"Oh, c'mon…wait. _Noticeable?_ Does that mean-"

"But _YOU_," she cut in loudly, stopping him before he could hit pay dirt, "how did you react every time you've seen _me?"_

"You act like I'm always looking!"

"Maybe you are, I don't know."

"Trust me, Akane," he scoffed, "there ain't enough there for me ta need more than once to see it all."

She narrowed her eyes, "Oh _really?_"

He leaned close, "Yep."

Her pride burning, Akane tilted her head up close enough that he could feel her breath, "Then this doesn't do _anything_ to you?"

Slowly she began to unzip her jacket, stopping halfway down.

"What're you doing? You're gonna get cold," he said, reaching for her wrist to stop her. Lifting a hand, she shrugged him away, locking him in a hard stare as her fingers began to unbutton her shirt.

Swallowing hard, Ranma fought to keep his eyes on hers as her cleavage was revealed.

"Nothing?" she asked with a glint in her eye that he didn't entirely trust. Unable to get his voice to actually work, he shook his head _no_.

Her eyebrow twitching briefly, he felt her hand close around his and guide it toward her.

"Well, if you're desensitized to _seeing_ a girl's body, what about touching it?"

His mouth fell open. Blinking several times, his mind tried desperately to come up with a coherent thought but decided instead to simply take a backseat and shut up.

As his fingertips touched her skin, Akane's eyes fluttered closed with a gasp, allowing Ranma to drop the façade and look down. Running his thumb over her throat, he licked his lips as the urge to use them became nearly unbearable.

"We ain't kissing, right?" he whispered, letting his forehead brush hers. Her hand squeezed his tighter as she nodded.

"What about this?"

Leaning in further, he pressed his lips softly behind her ear, causing Akane's legs to wobble. Catching her around the waist, he pressed her against the wall.

"This don't count, does it?" he breathed, kissing further down her neck.

"Right now I couldn't count to three, much less this," she gasped.

"Good."

Slipping further beneath the fabric of her shirt, he ran his fingertips along her collarbone and down as he kissed her throat again.

Losing herself to his touch, Akane grabbed him by the pockets and pulled his hips closer. Grazing her teeth along his earlobe, she opened her mouth and-

"Well now!" came an all too familiar voice, "Look down an alley in Nerima and you're bound to turn up just about _anything!" _

"Nabiki?!" Akane yipped, shoving Ranma away. Looking down at her shirt, she quickly shuffled behind him again and zipped her coat up to her chin.

"And _whatever_ were you two up to?" Nabiki asked with a wicked grin as she walked toward them.

"I had something in my eye," Ranma shrugged without missing a beat, "Akane was helping me get it out."

"Of course," Nabiki almost laughed. "And I suppose that, due to the sudden loss of eyesight, you failed to see that your mouth was on my sister's neck?"

"Was it?" he smirked, "I couldn't tell. The wind was blowin' pretty hard, something big must have gotten in my eye."

Shoving her hand, and a camera, back into her pocket, Nabiki leaned in, "I bet the wind wasn't the only thing about to blow pretty hard."

"Was there a reason you were out here?" Akane asked quickly, grabbing Ranma's arm to stop his retort. Out of Nabiki's view, he lay a hand on her back and twined his fingers in the hair at the nape of her neck. Almost imperceptibly, Akane shivered.

"Looking for Ryoga, same as what you two were supposedly doing." Taking her left hand out of her pocket, she held it up, "Do you think I should be wearing a ring? I _am_ supposed to be a married woman, after all."

"A ring? How much longer do you really think it's going to take to switch them back?" Akane asked, her eyes momentarily throwing a rather hungry look Ranma's way.

"Interesting," Nabiki muttered, more to herself than aloud. Clearing the dollar signs from her eyes, she looked at the pair, "How long do you suppose Ryoga can stay lost for?"

Feeling her heart fall to her feet, Akane steadied herself on Ranma's arm. Laying a hand over hers, he smiled reassuringly. "C'mon, Akane, in the end he only ends up in a couple of places. It's either his house or yours, eventually, shouldn't be _that_ hard to find him."

"That's a wonderful idea!" Nabiki said enthusiastically. "And since he's obviously running from _our_ house for the moment, you two should check his. In fact, stay there until he shows up!"

Both heads simultaneously snapped to attention.

"You want…_both_ of us to go?" Akane asked with uncertainty.

"_Alone?"_ Ranma added.

Nabiki tilted her head to the other side as if she were pondering something, "You've been alone before, correct?"

Rubbing her arm uncomfortably, Akane answered with a quiet, "Yeah, but…"

Nabiki licked her lips, swallowing her joy at their discomfort, "Has something…_changed_, perhaps?"

Ranma and Akane looked at one another, then began to babble denials in unison.

"Exactly!" Nabiki grinned triumphantly, "I doubt there's anything to worry about if it's _you two_."

"Just… just _call us_ if he comes back, please," Akane conceded weakly after a moment's pause. Ranma only stood and watched, certain that there was more to Nabiki than met the eye. She was too happy to be so good natured, it was going against everything he had ever known her to be up until now.

"I assure you, Akane my dear," the older Tendo said in a drawl, "_you two_ will be the _first _to know if he's found."

Akane and Ranma looked at each other, seeming to have a silent conversation before turning their attention back to Nabiki.

"It's weird," Ranma began.

"But we accept," Akane finished.

"Good," Nabiki nearly groaned, looking more and more ill at the displays of mutual affection she was being subjected to. Honestly, it was starting to make her feel a touch uncomfortable. Turning away, she rolled her eyes, "Let's head in then and get you two all packed up for your big trip...before I vomit," she ended under her breath.

…

Morning broke as the glow in the sky shifted softly from a dull purple to a blazing pink, dozens of birds singing the whole while at the top of their lungs just in case anything attempted to sleep through the soul-changing experience. Ryoga Hibiki was one such soul who, at the moment, would have much rather been in a bed asleep. But he wasn't. And, at least in _his_ head, it was all Ranma's fault.

"Curse you, Ra-" he began, lifting a fist into the air. Looking down, his curse fell short; how could he, if he were still in his right mind, curse his own body?

At the sound of his voice, his alley cat blanket looked up, stretched, then moved on without so much as a look back for thanks.

"You're welcome," Ryoga muttered in disgust just as a large, white splat landed on his thigh and began to drip down his leg. Tilting his head up to the sky, he began to scream at the birds.

"Are you kidding, does _everything_ have to shit on me?"

Hearing a chuckle from behind, he covered his crotch and spun as he leapt to his feet. Smirking from her doorway was Ukyo, who began to slowly shake her head.

"I swear, Ranchan, you get yourself into more trouble than anyone I know!" Pointing a finger at him, she was momentarily at a loss for words before letting out a snort, "Nice outfit, anything I should know about?"

Ryoga shook his head as a blush crept from his ears to his toes. Clearing his throat, he croaked out, "Nabiki."

"Say no more, Shug," Ukyo said, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a tissue. "Here's a little something to wipe that bird poop off your leg, and how's about I get you a blanket so you can get yourself home."

"C-can you take me there?" he asked timidly, avoiding her gaze. Looking him over, she narrowed her eyes, "Just what did she _do_ to you?"

"Wha-what do you mean?"

"For the past couple of days, you just haven't seemed right," she answered, still keeping a judgmental eye on him, "like you weren't you…"

Feeling the blood drain from his face, Ryoga attempted to act natural. Keeping one hand over his groin, he scratched the back of his head and made it look as casual as he could.

"That's…just…_crazy_, Uk-, Uch, uh, Ucchan? Yeah, _Ucchan! _That's crazy, Ucchan, I'm me. You know Nabiki, though, she's got some way of doing things! Can really mess a guy up in the head!"

Not really able to argue that point, Ukyo shrugged, "Gonna tell me what she did?"

Ryoga leveled off a look that made the mysteries of the world seem obvious, "Hasn't she done enough?"

"Guess you're right," Ukyo agreed with a chuckle. "Give me a sec and I'll get that blanket, but I don't see why you need me to walk you home. I got plenty to do around here."

"I would just like to be sure nothing else happens along the way, if you don't mind. And thank you," Ryoga said with a quick bow as he watched Ukyo duck back inside, hoping that his ability to get lost would just relax for a day. Feeling a sharp pinch, he began to scratch his back, then behind his knee. By the time she returned, his chest, back and legs were scraped pink and he was attempting a discreet crotch-itch.

"What…?" she managed after a short pause, watching Ryoga hop from foot-to-foot.

"Oh Gods," he cursed through clenched teeth, "what is this accursed itching?" Taking an awkward step forward, he lifted the blanket from Ukyo's hands and wrapped it around his shoulders. Ukyo took a step back.

"Uh, yeah, you can keep that," she said with a grimace.

"You really are too generous, Ukyo san," he smiled.

"Time to get you home, now," she called out, stepping to the opposite side of the street.

Realizing that she was deliberately keeping her distance, Ryoga scratched his shoulder through the blanket, then scratched some more.

"I meant what I said, you know," he called to her, "I really do owe you my thanks for all of your generosity. Quite frankly, I never realized you were a good person before!"

She stopped mid-step, "…Never realized…?"

"Yes, isn't that strange?" he chuckled, pausing as he turned her way. "You just always have some scheme up your sleeve, so I never saw the real, kindhearted you beyond your dishonest actions."

Ukyo stared, dumbfounded and unsure of whether she should be hitting him or blushing. Everything he said carried both a compliment and an insult, and she was beginning to get the feeling that he needed to stop talking.

"It really is quite ironic that, uh, _I'd_ come to rely on you as a friend, while seeing you as nothing more than-"

At that moment Ryoga was doused with a bucket of water from above.

"Ranma Chaaaan!" came the elderly war cry of Happosai as he dropped from the sky onto Ryoga's now ample, completely bare bosom.

"Get off of me, is this any way to treat a _woman?_" Ryoga shouted, taking a swing and missing the old man. Stumbling as his momentum carried him forward, Ryoga suddenly found his scanty male g-string switched to its female counterpart thanks to a rather fast pair of old, perverted hands.

"Oh how lovely!" the elder man said in delight, holding tightly onto Ryoga's hips from behind as he marveled at his handiwork. "If only you would let your dear master do this every day, I'd live to be 145!"

"Get off, you letch!" Ryoga cried, attempting to keep the blanket over his female nudity while trying to pry Happosai off of him.

"Ooh, you've made an old man's life worth living again!" Happosai sang, maneuvering himself under the blanket faster than Ryoga could block his advances. Then, suddenly, he stopped.

Dropping out from under the cover like a forgotten prop in a magic show, the older man looked curiously at his arm. Slapping his hand down, he slowly lifted it while peering underneath.

"What are you doing?" Ryoga asked cautiously, maintaining a safe distance. Before Happosai could respond, he began to scratch his neck and arm simultaneously. Looking up with tears welling in his eyes, he sputtered out, "How…how could you?"

"How could I, _what?_" Ryoga asked, joining his elder with a scratch to the back of his neck.

"You gave me _fleas!"_

…

Staring straight ahead at the seatback in front of her, Akane squeezed Ranma's hand and let out a nervous giggle.

"I can't believe my father didn't see anything wrong with this," she breathed in disbelief.

"Well, like Nabiki said, _someone's_ gotta take me to my house or I'll get lost," Ranma grinned, batting his eyes. "I mean, Shampoo ruined my tent, and I don't have my winter gear or food or anything."

"True, you could freeze to death in the night," she teased, "but I can't believe he doesn't think anything's weird about me going alone with Ryoga to his house and staying over!"

Letting out a quick laugh, Ranma looked down at her, "Guess he don't really have much to say now that Nabiki took your place. You're a free-bird, Akane!"

"It's funny, though, isn't it?" she asked, turning her dark eyes up to him. "Now that I'm officially single, at least to them, he doesn't really seem to care about what I do. I kind of thought he'd be a bit more…protective?"

"Like the way he stopped all those idiots in the Hentai Horde each morning?" Leaning down, he nudged his forehead into hers, "Don't worry, I'll keep you safe, Akane."

"I can do it myself, you know."

"I know."

"Hmm," she hummed, closing her eyes and rolling her head onto his shoulder as they settled back into their seats. From overhead the conductor called the next station, several passengers moving toward the doors as the train slowed to a stop uneventfully. Cracking her eyes, Akane watched as people moved past them to find a seat, none of whom either she nor Ranma had any past with. No grudges were held, no battle-cries rang out, not even a sideways glance was thrown their way. Slowly she tipped her head up to steal a glance at Ranma who was smiling peacefully out the window, rocking with the train as it made its way down the line.

"This is weird," she whispered, scanning her eyes over the other passengers again.

Following her gaze, Ranma whispered back, "What is? Is it that guy over there? Is he lookin' at you weird, 'cause when he first got on-"

"No, baka!" she giggled, smacking him in the chest with the back of her hand. "I just started getting used to how much chaos follows you around, it's weird that everything's so…_normal._"

"That's not entirely my fault, you know," he answered defensively, "it's all those idiots that have ta go wherever I do!"

"I know," Akane smiled, patting his arm.

"They always find me! That was the only _real_ good thing about wanderin' around all that time, me and Pops always seemed to be just one jump ahead of them."

"I know…"

"Even if he did find new ways of pissing people off every time we stopped."

"Yep."

"But you're right, 'cause if I were actually _me_ right now, Shampoo or someone would have already busted in here and started something."

"I know," Akane agreed again, "that's what I was saying."

Dropping his eyes to her hand in his, Ranma felt his stomach turn at the thought of losing moments like these to his former life. Turning suddenly, he blurted out, "We gotta tell everyone!"

"Okaaay…" she said slowly, "tell them what?"

"About us…_this!_" He motioned between them with their clenched hands, clutching her shoulder with the other. "The second I turn back, we need ta let them know we like each other like…like _this_, you know?!"

"Ow, yes, now let go of my shoulder! Don't forget that ridiculous strength of yours, _Ryoga,_" she complained, peeling his fingers off of her.

"Ah, sorry," he yipped, pulling his hand away. "Guess I was getting a little excited, but seriously! We need ta say something so that we can do stuff like this again, like normal people."

"Normal would be nice," she smirked, then gave him a kiss on the cheek, "but I don't think you can do _normal._"

Before he could respond, the train slowed, their stop being called out over the speaker. "This is it," he grinned, lifting his pack as he stood, then holding his hand out to her, "you comin'?"

Tilting her head to the side with a smirk, she took his hand and stood. "After all this, I'd be a fool not to."

…

Hearing a commotion down the street, Nabiki didn't have to look too closely to see that it was people she knew making the ruckus. Giving a small shrug, she started walking their way.

"Hey there, Darling!" she shouted, waving a hand over her head at Ryoga, "I've been looking for you _everywhere._"

Ryoga's eyes went wide as he froze in place. Turning slowly, he began to back away.

"Well that saves me a trip!" Ukyo said quickly, wanting to put as much distance as she could between her and the flee-bitten shemale. "Guess you're all set!" She patted him on the back, then hurried back to the relative sanity of her restaurant.

"And where do you think _you're_ headed off too?" Nabiki asked, reaching toward her red-headed 'husband', then pulling her hand back. "What's this about fleas?"

Hanging his head, he muttered, "Happosai said I gave them to him, then he went running off."

"What have you been doing without me?"

"I guess I should tell you that I slept with a cat last night."

"You did _what?_ But honey, your phobia," she said in an exaggerated tone. Suddenly gasping, she leaned in as close as she dared to get, "Was it Shampoo? You aren't cheating on me _already_, are you?"

"What, wait…_what?_" Ryoga choked. "It certainly was not Shampoo! And it was for survival, thank you, or would you rather I froze to death ?"

She pressed a finger to her chin, "Well, it _would_ be easier than a divorce."

Sucking in a small gasp, he stared at her in shock. Wrinkling up her nose in an uncharacteristically cute giggle, she poked him in the arm, "Just kidding! Looks like we're off to the pet shop."

"Why?" he asked, following after her like a lost puppy.

"Flea dip, obviously. Then I'll take you home."

A short while and one long flea bath later, Ryoga stared at a schedule posted on the wall of a train station.

"What are we doing _here?_" he asked. Nabiki let out a short laugh and began to smirk.

"Why _Darling_, I'm taking you home, of course."

Ryoga froze before stuttering, "W-w-what? But I was home already!"

Strutting in front of the bumbling boy, Nabiki ran her fingertips down his cheek, ending with a playful tap on the tip of his nose.

"Don't play games, _Ryoga_, dishonesty will only cost you in the end."

"A lot of things cost me when you're involved, Nabiki san…wait. Who's Ryoga, I-I- "

"Uht uhh, Dear. Let's not ignore the advice of our elders, now."

Ryoga audibly swallowed, "You know?"

Letting out a snicker, Nabiki lifted an eyebrow, "Don't I always?"

"If, if you knew who I was, why did you do all of this? I know you don't really care too much about feelings, but didn't you _marry_ me? Doesn't that mean anything?"

"Please, don't misunderstand things. It's that body that I'm interested in, not you," she answered, circling him like a shark who knew it's next meal was a sure thing. Blinking several times, Ryoga mulled over what she had said.

"Then…what are we doing, exactly?"

"We're getting you what you want."

Slowing her pace, she took another step and came to a stop directly in front of him. "You can ask questions all day, but right now Akane is at your house looking for you, do you really want to keep her waiting?"

"Sh-she is?" he choked. Then his face soured, "What about Ranma?"

"He's probably there, too."

"But they've gotten so close! Aren't they going to be all alone there?"

Nabiki shrugged. "Then I suppose we should hurry."

…

As the afternoon slipped away, Ranma came to a halt in front of the Hibiki house and dropped Ryoga's backpack onto the front porch.

"We're heeree!"

"Do you think anyone's home?" Akane asked in a hushed voice, peeking out from behind him.

"Maybe the dog…" he answered absently, sinking to his knees as he rummaged through the pack. After a moment he held up a key and turned to her with a broad grin, "Got it!"

Akane swallowed, then looked nervously up at the house, "I hope Ryoga's already here, or his parents."

Ranma stopped and looked over his shoulder, "Why? You worried about something?"

"No…" she lied.

"Is it 'cause we'll be alone?" he asked, unlocking the door and holding it open, "No one to hear you scream if I try something?"

"Please!" she huffed, brushing past him and into the house, "I don't think you've got the guts to _try_ anything serious. And with your face the way it is, serious isn't even an option!"

"Geeze, Akane, hurtin' a guy's pride AND his looks with a single blow! If I really were Ryoga, I'd be on the floor crying by now."

The moment the door closed, he dropped his bag and shoes then pinned her to the wall.

"Ranma!" she squeaked, "What if someone's here?!" Desperately she craned her neck to take in their surroundings, but with the sun sinking ever lower, the light inside was barely enough to make out more than a silhouette of the room.

"Still think I don't got the guts?" he whispered harshly into her ear, twining his fingers with hers as he held her hands in place.

Straightening her back, she glared at him, defiant even in the darkness. "You don't."

"I think I do," he grinned wickedly. "Just 'cause I can't kiss your lips don't mean I can't do anything else."

"What?" she protested, trying to push him away. He let her struggle, slowly bringing her arms up above her head. Capturing both of her wrists in one hand, he cupped her cheek and ran his thumb over her mouth. Bringing his lips down to her throat, he kissed her once, feeling her squirm beneath him before releasing his hold and stepping away.

"And _that's_ why ya don't trust Ryoga!" he said loudly, stepping past and mumbling about finding the lights.

Akane, her hands still above her head, felt like she'd just jumped from a bridge and belly-flopped into the water. Every nerve ending was burning and she was finding it harder than ever to ignore the loss of his touch.

"Wha…? What just happened?" she murmured, her arms falling on top of her head as she leaned heavily against the wall.

"I just taught you a valuable lesson about how you should act when you're alone with a guy, especially Ryoga," Ranma called back. Flicking on a light, he held up his hands as if he'd just accomplished something far grander than utilizing a modern convenience.

Akane squinted her eyes, "Why are you bringing _him_ up right now?"

Slowly stepping up to her, he leaned down to her eyelevel, "You were here with him that other time, remember? His parent's are always out, and he's stronger than even a tomboy like you. That was a stupid situation ta put yourself in and you know it!"

"That was, what, over a _year_ ago? Honestly, Ranma, he was showing off his puppies…nothing even happened!"

"Yeah, 'cause of ME! He was tryin' to do stuff but I stopped him." Letting out a huff, he turned away, "Just don't be so trusting with other guys is all I'm saying."

She let out a soft laugh, stepping behind him and leaning against his back. Closing her eyes, she breathed him in, "Is this your way of keeping me all to yourself, Ranma?"

"If only it were that easy," he whined, his shoulders sagging. "It's just there's this thing you do where you smile at someone and then they get all stupid around you."

"Thanks…?" she tried, unsure if it was meant to be a compliment.

Spinning to face her, he blurted out, "What do you mean, _thanks?_"

Lifting her head, she cocked it to the side and smiled. "I mean _thanks_, dummy."

'_I can feel my IQ dropping already!'_ he thought desperately, needing to put some distance between himself and her smile before he did something he'd regret.

"I'm gonna go look for something to eat," he said, shielding his eyes from her radiance as he walked out of the room. Shaking her head, Akane laughed.

"I swear, you are _so _weird sometimes. Uh, and won't the food be old?"

"Probably," came his muffled reply through the doorway, "but everyone's got chips or something. I mean, non-perishables have got to be a staple in this kind of household."

"True," she agreed, leaning against the doorjamb as she watched him go through the cabinets. Looking back over her shoulder into the darkening hallway, she stepped further into the reassuring glow of the kitchen light just as Ranma held up a bag of octopus flavored chips.

"All right! Told ya I'd find something."

"My hero," Akane mocked, earning herself a cynical glare. Stepping forward, she patted him on the shoulder and then began her own search through the cabinetry. "Did you see anything to make some tea with? I'll start boiling the water."

"You sure you should do that?" he asked with genuine concern, "We _are_ in someone else's house. What if you burn the place down?"

"I won't burn anything down boiling water, come on!" she complained. "Did you see a tea pot anywhere?"

"Uh, yeah. Over here," he answered, leaning over her to point. As she stood up, she was momentarily in his arms again. Turning to lock eyes with him, she smiled awkwardly, "Hi."

"Whoa!" he exclaimed as he jumped back, holding his hands up to show that he hadn't done it on purpose. Looking away with a blush, Akane giggled, brushing a lock of hair over her ear as she turned back around.

"I'll fill this up with some water," she said quietly.

"Tea," he began, his eyes locked on her every move, "over here, I think."

In an awkward silence, the two continued to rummage and explore Ryoga's kitchen, all the while oblivious to the fact that Ryoga himself was watching through the window.

"Just look at them, Nabiki san," he complained, itching his chest idly, "acting like an old married couple, it makes me sick. That should be ME with her!"

"Yes," she agreed with a hint of annoyance frosting her voice, "and as I've already explained, far too many times for such a short trip, that _will be _you if you simply listen to me."

"Right…_RIGHT!_ So what do we do?"

Taking in a deep breath, Nabiki steadied her voice to hide her evil grin. Watching her sister and Ranma sit at Ryoga's table, she leaned toward her accomplice. "They look like they're getting _awfully _close in there, don't they, now?"

"They do! We need to stop this, Nabiki san!"

"Wait! I know," she said with mock excitement, "break the heater! If it's too cold, they'll just have to go home, wont they?"

Ryoga turned with a raised fist, "That's an excellent idea! Once they go home, all of this will be over!"

"Exactly."

"Then I, Ryoga Hibiki, will finally get a win!"

"Yes."

"But if I break the heater, my parents won't be happy."

Nabiki blinked. "Then just shut off the power."

"Of course!" he said with renewed excitement. "You really are simply full of wonderful ideas, Nabiki san!"

"Just do it," Nabiki said, losing her mock enthusiasm to impatience.

"Hai! I'll be right back!"

Inside, Ranma looked up with a start. Following him with her eyes, Akane watched as he began sneaking peeks out from behind the curtains of several windows, craning her neck to see if she could pick up on whatever it was that had him on alert.

"What's wrong?" she asked quietly.

Holding up a hand to keep her silent, he gave one last look out before coming back to sit beside her.

"Thought I heard something."

She scanned over the curtains again, then whispered, "What _kind_ of something?"

"Not sure yet, but I don't think we'll be in the dark for long."

Just then the power went out. Looking over at Akane slowly, he popped another chip into his mouth, "Told ya."

She inched closer, reaching around for his hand before gripping it tightly.

"W-what makes you think it's someone doing this and not just a blackout?"

He let out a laugh, "Akane, the neighbors' lights are on."

Her grip grew tighter, her other hand including his arm in her hold. Looking down at her as she scanned the darkness wildly, Ranma leaned close to her ear, "You ain't afraid of no ghosts, are ya?"

Swallowing audibly, she tightened her hold and steeled her voice, "I am a martial artist, Ranma. Th-this, is _nothing_."

"Good, then I don't feel bad leaving you here for a sec while I go to the bathroom…or _should _I?"

She wanted to whine about how bad he really should feel leaving her at a time like this, how he _knew_ she'd be afraid so he should just shut it and stop teasing her if he was truly a man! Aloud she simply let out a tiny, "That would be fine."

"I'll be riiigt baaaaacckk!" he teased some more, moving through the doorway as if he were being dragged out.

Akane glared after him, then huddled with her back against the wall the moment he was out of sight.

Several minutes later he slipped back into the room and silently moved beside her, blowing the curls at the back of her neck gently. As she jumped and spun away in surprise, he lunged closer and shouted, "BOO!"

Reflexively she lashed out, upper cutting him into the ceiling while screaming at the top of her lungs. Realizing what she'd just done, she continued to scream while he peeled himself off of the crumbling plaster and plopped to the floor.

"Akane…"

"AAH, I'M SO SORRY! WHY DID YOU DO THAT, YOU IDIOT?"

"Akane," he tried again, pinching the bridge of his nose as a headache roared to life, "quietly. Talk…quietly. Please."

"Right!" she whispered loudly, her hands hovering unsurely over his face. "Are you okay?"

Licking a spot of blood off his lip, he squinted up at her, "I think you chipped a tooth."

"Ohmygod, I'msosorry!" she rushed out.

" Iss okay," he slurred through a quickly forming fat lip, "iss Ryoga'ss toof, anyway. I'm sssocked it hasssn't aweady happened!"

Tentatively she brushed her fingertips over his chin, then pressed him to her chest in a gentle embrace.

"Well, Ryoga is the one who deserves it, not you."

As Ranma began to slowly settle into Akane's arms, he caught a shadow as it moved past one of the windows. Grinning wickedly, he wrapped his arms around her and said loudly, "I fink I ssould way down. Wiww you come to bed wiff me?"

"Or course I will!"

Simultaneously, Ranma and Nabiki covered their smirks.

Returning to Nabiki's side, Ryoga stole a peek inside only to see two silhouettes moving toward the stairs.

"Where are they going?" he asked with a touch of hesitation. "Why aren't they leaving?"

"Seems our plan backfired," Nabiki answered, trying hard not to smile, "she's taking him to bed."

Ryoga's head spun so fast she thought it had to have made one full rotation before coming to rest in her direction.

"Wha-wha…_together?_" he stuttered, unable to keep his voice under control.

"Well of course," she shrugged back. "It's cold inside now that we cut the heat. The only thing they can do tonight is huddle together for warmth…all night."

His eyes glazing over for a brief moment, Nabiki watched as his hand felt over his pocket, reassuring himself that he still had whatever he was carrying. Arching an eyebrow, she added, "Lucky him, right?"

"Yes, lucky _him._"

"Shall we head to a higher location to be sure my sister's modesty isn't compromised?"

Lifting her in his arms suddenly, he leaped to the second floor and plastered himself to a nearby window.

"I believe we should, Nabiki san, I believe we should."

…

Setting out a futon in a guest room, Akane led Ranma to it and covered him with a blanket.

"Try and get some rest," she said quietly. Rubbing her upper arms against a slight chill as the house cooled, she began to stand, "Let me go get you some ice for that lip." Reaching out before she could leave, Ranma grabbed her wrist.

"Why not sstay for a bit? It'ss gettin' better, ssee?"

"Baka," she laughed, her smile fading as he held back the bedcover.

"You're cold, right? We're here for the night, we would'a had to do thiss ssometime anyway."

Akane's mouth fell open, but no words would form. Brushing her hair behind her ear, she fought a wave of hot crimson that threatened to erupt over her cheeks.

"I…I don't know?"

Ranma lifted himself to his elbows, "I've been sssleeping under your bed for a few dayss now, this ain't that different."

Furrowing her brows in thought, she let out a huff.

"You'll jussst be cold if ya don't," he added with a grin, lifting the covers invitingly.

"I _know!_" she said, shaking her head in resignation. Moving closer to his side, she tentatively slid one leg under the blanket, then the other, before settling beside him as rigid as a board.

"Not sso bad, iss it?" he taunted, rolling onto his side to face her. Akane stared at the ceiling.

"If my father knew about this…" she warned, making Ranma chuckle.

"But he doessn't, and I ain't telling!"

"Me neither," she answered quietly, burying herself up to her nose in the bed.

Settling in beside her, Ranma rested his head against hers and took her hand, "Alwaysss wanted to try thiss."

Her head slowly emerging like a turtle from it's shell, she stole a glance at him. Gently squeezing his hand back, a smile tugged at her lips, "Me too."

…

"How could this be happening, Nabiki san?" Ryoga hissed from the darkness beside her as he stared through the window. Nabiki, simply wanting to progress the last leg of her plan into completion (while making as much profit as humanly possible) rolled her eyes.

"What, now, Hibiki?"

"That slime just got her into bed with him!"

Silently, she nodded her approval; it was about _time_ Ranma manned-up and made a move worth mentioning! Running a hand over her lips, she cleared her grin.

"Dump water on them," she said, producing a bucket of water out of thin air. "Nothing will happen if they're both girls."

"That's right!" Ryoga cheered, snatching the bucket and flinging open the window. A moment later Nabiki heard a loud splash followed by several female screams…and one pig.

"Oh, dear!" Nabiki whispered, grabbing Ryoga by the shoulder, "We forgot about you're curses being switched."

Ryoga remained frozen in shock until she added, "I _do_ hope Ranma's clever enough to keep it a secret from Akane. He couldn't _possibly_ be that stupid, could he?"

"What am I going to DO?" he screamed. Nabiki smiled; It was time for the Big Guns.

"You have the jewel, correct, Hibiki?"

Feeling him go stiff in affirmation, she pushed him through the window.

"Switch places, then get out of there. I'll bill you later for all my help!"

Stumbling for a moment, Ryoga quickly got his bearings and thrust a hand into his pocket. Rummaging wildly through the wet blankets, he grabbed the first warm body he felt.

"What do you think you're doing?" Akane shouted in a notably male voice. Running her hands over her flattened chest, she slowly looked down to see that she was currently wearing someone else's body. Rushing over to a small mirror on the wall, she stared at her reflection only to find Ranma's signature blue eyes staring back.

Reaching up to touch her new male face, she breathed out, "Oh boy."

…..

_A/N: Wow, and there it IS, folks! I am a rotten scoundrel for not saying this sooner, but THANK YOU for your reviews! A LOT! _

_As you well know, this is unpaid except in accolades, and I do so LOVE my accolades! You are all precious little nuggets of encouragement, and I thank you all!_

_Also, any "Guest" reviews, thanks for your anonymous love! They do say that love burns brightest in the dark, and as for the person who also reviewed a whole lot of 'Distractions' before coming here, yeah! Loved 'em all!_

_Next chapter's it, I'm afraid, and it may not be as long as the rest, I'm not sure yet. So, I guess it's goodbye for now and THANK YOU!_

_**Next (and last) time: The Jewel of Denial **_


End file.
